#tis a queue

( 1 ) who spends hours putting up lights only to get tangled in them and storm off?

Kael absolutely wants to get involved in the Christmas spirit, especially if he believes it will bring a little bit of warmth and joy to the High Lord’s otherwise surly demeanor. However, he’s found that stringing holiday lights without the use of magic is an impossible and absurd thing and ends up getting his feet tangled in the cords. After twisting around and attempting to free himself from the menacing cords, he ends up getting all tied up like a freshly-wrapped Christmas present and hops off angrily into the distance.

( 2 ) who accidentally eats a whole box of christmas chocolates in one sitting?

Kael does this on purpose. Gabriel does it accidentally after he’s gone all day without eating because he’s become so consumed in exploring whatever novel has graced his lap for the day. One moment, the tin of freshly-prepared dark chocolate peppermint cookies is sitting out on the table; the next, 10 hours have passed and Gabriel is quietly eating the last one while Kael’s eyes slowly fill with tears.

( 3 ) who insists on watching the cheesey hallmark christmas movies?

Kael tries to get Gabriel involved in these movies in the spirit of romance, though the High Lord openly scrutinizes each film and asks Kael why everyone in them are straight.

(4 ) who insists on playing nothing but michael buble in the few days running up to christmas?

Michael Buble is the only acceptable choice for Christmas music. Gabriel absolutely insists on this.

( 5 ) who gets their presents wrapped at the mall so the other cant go snooping

There are two reasons Gabriel gets his presents wrapped at the mall. The first is so no one knows what he’s gotten them (and because celebrating holidays, in theory, is a strangely new concept for the High Lord). The second is because that way he doesn’t have to do it himself. 

( 6 ) who insists on making snow angels?

This one goes to Kael. Gabriel is skulking about it at first and insists that their time would be better spent indoors, near a fire, but soon the snow angels turn into a frost-bitten snowball fight enhanced by their affinity for wind.

( 7 ) who put christmas outfits on all the pets?

If Kael ever did this, Gabriel would burn the clothes and toss any jingle bell-infested collars right out the window and off the side of the mountain. The General wrapped in a bow, however, is another story.

( 8 ) do they go to family’s or have a quiet day in?

Kael and Gabriel both exchanged a long glance at each other after reading this message, laughed, and then resumed their peaceful activities in the high castle. Gabriel might argue that one would need to have family in order to attend their festivities. Indeed, Kael adds that it would probably be pleasant if they weren’t murdered before the holidays.

( 9 ) who insists on wearing matching ugly christmas jumpers?

In no way, shape, or form, would Kael ever be able to convince Gabriel to wear an ugly Christmas sweater. The High Lord of Night takes his sweater selection very seriously, thank you very much. Additionally, the Lord of Nightmares sorely doubts Kael would ever wear something that might hide his abs and, gods forbid, make him look hideous. 

( 10 ) who waits up until midnight to give the other their present?

This one actually goes to both of them. Kael spends months agonizing over the perfect thing to get that is both sentimental and not overly-emotional, whereas Gabriel privately worries that perhaps he’s just not equipped for gift-giving or the holiday season in general.

( 11 ) who insists on hand-made presents only one year?

Let’s be honest: both of these men are too bougie, French, and spoiled to expect hand-made gifts only. Gabriel would be offended if Kael gave him a macaroni sculpture for Christmas.

( 12 ) who puts mistletoe on every door frame?

Kael. What can I say? He’s horny.

( 13 ) who gets too drunk at the work christmas party and has to be picked up at 9:15pm? who gets angry and almost tells kids that santa isnt real?

Kael gets sloshed on too much alcohol and starts stripping to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You.” Brayden is absolutely instigating the entire affair, even when Kael starts flying on top of furniture and knocks over Brayden’s prized glass dildo. Gabriel is wine tipsy and has just informed children that Santa Claus is an invention of capitalism that shames poor families for not being able to provide gifts for their children from an old creepy man with a nasty beard who slides down chimneys and expects to receive sacrificial offerings in the form of cookies and milk for toys from Wal-Mart’s Black Friday sale.

“...I’m not sure what you mean. We fucked on the full moon. It was, you know, sex. We haven’t really...I mean. You know. It was the full moon.”

( @nymphcts )

“My relationship with Lilianna is none of your concern, and I’d suggest you shut your mouth and fuck off before you give me a reason to hunt you down and tear your tongue out for you.”

( @nymphcts )

“That I’m probably a monster. But I can live with my scars and the horror stories they tell. Can you?”

“I’ve thought about it plenty. Ares is a man who knows what he wants and firmly believes there’s little that will stand in his way of obtaining it. It’s something I’ve always admired him for, his tenacity and courage--it’s a like-mindedness that drew us to each other in the first place. But now, well...he loves me. I know he does. But if I stood as a threat between what he felt he deserved, both for himself and the Spring Court, I don’t...I don’t think he would hesitate to kill me. Especially if he felt I betrayed him.”

( @lupusrcx )

“One of the traditions of the Night Court has always been for the High Ruler to keep their own private hellhound or two; a testament to the creatures who guard our court. Mine happen to be a wretched little hellhound named Hades and his bigger, more impressive brother, Hugo. They’re both absolute brats and I lift my eyes to the ceiling every time I remember that the Night Court is renowned for our hellhounds. Perhaps they’ve grown on me in the last hundred years or so, though I do wish Hades would quit running into closed glass doors. It is, quite frankly, embarrassing.”