Yes yes yes this scene thank you for the tag, heehehehe

It’s funny because this scene must be based on the memoir Special Agent by Candis DeLong. In it she describes being out looking at clothes at a department store on lunch break with another female agent and overhearing a conversation between a man and a woman in which he says he’s an FBI agent. They peer around some clothes racks thinking that they’re going to see one of their fellow agents trying to get a date, and when they don’t recognize the guy they go over and pretend to be interested in the big strong FBI agent themselves and ask to see his badge. The guy actually pulled out a fake badge, whereupon they said “Huh, that doesn’t look anything like ours…”, produced their own badges and arrested him for impersonating an FBI agent. (I remember this bit from a 25 year old book because I actually stole it myself for a fic)

Exquisite. Glorious. 10/10 thank you for sharing.

Conservative beauty standards are back with a vengeance which means it's especially important to go out this summer with bellies out and bodies unshaved. Also be unapologetically disabled with mobility aids and wearable medical devices and stim toys and ear defenders and all that stuff. You need it. People need to see it. Everyone needs to be reminded that life is unquestioningly more enjoyable when you're not living inside an arbitrary set of rules created by people who are offended by all the wrong things.

sorry for texting back instantly, my phone is in my hand, i'm mature and i like you

humans produce FAR to much mucus, to remedy this we’ve made a potion that replaces all your mucus with a pure element from the periodic table. Roll a d118, or roll a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage (your gross mucus gets in the way)

wow you got to the red stop light faster and more dangerously than anyone else. should we throw a party?? should we call nascar

penis isn't real. pussy isn't even real. the only thing that is real, is the pleasure of combat

I love when a character wants to be someone's dog so so bad. Dont mean it in a sexual way (although that can also be a part of it) I mean like. Let me be your loyal companion let me stay by your side give me a purpose in exchange for endless unconditional love let me stop being a person love me like it's my only use. Love me like that's the only thing I was made for. As you can tell. I'm normal.

i feel like tumblr users are the only ones who don’t use ai. everyone else would fuck chatgpt if they could

Don’t use AI to write. Use childhood trauma like a real poet.

a small thing i learned from my sister dying is that i really would rather the people i love be a burden than be whatever the hell else they'd be if they weren't. yes even if it's messy and not always fair and hard completely inconvenient for everyone involved. even if it's weird. even if i'm rolling my eyes a bit inside sometimes. i just want you to bother me. please always bother me

like "it's rotten work" "not to me not if it's you" actually sometimes it's still rotten work. even if it's you. and i'd still do it a million times over