everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels

Yes yes yes this scene thank you for the tag, heehehehe

It’s funny because this scene must be based on the memoir Special Agent by Candis DeLong. In it she describes being out looking at clothes at a department store on lunch break with another female agent and overhearing a conversation between a man and a woman in which he says he’s an FBI agent. They peer around some clothes racks thinking that they’re going to see one of their fellow agents trying to get a date, and when they don’t recognize the guy they go over and pretend to be interested in the big strong FBI agent themselves and ask to see his badge. The guy actually pulled out a fake badge, whereupon they said “Huh, that doesn’t look anything like ours…”, produced their own badges and arrested him for impersonating an FBI agent. (I remember this bit from a 25 year old book because I actually stole it myself for a fic)

Exquisite. Glorious. 10/10 thank you for sharing.

Conservative beauty standards are back with a vengeance which means it's especially important to go out this summer with bellies out and bodies unshaved. Also be unapologetically disabled with mobility aids and wearable medical devices and stim toys and ear defenders and all that stuff. You need it. People need to see it. Everyone needs to be reminded that life is unquestioningly more enjoyable when you're not living inside an arbitrary set of rules created by people who are offended by all the wrong things.

sorry for texting back instantly, my phone is in my hand, i'm mature and i like you

humans produce FAR to much mucus, to remedy this we’ve made a potion that replaces all your mucus with a pure element from the periodic table. Roll a d118, or roll a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage (your gross mucus gets in the way)

wow you got to the red stop light faster and more dangerously than anyone else. should we throw a party?? should we call nascar

penis isn't real. pussy isn't even real. the only thing that is real, is the pleasure of combat