Roxy had invited you over to her place for some video game time, pretty standard if you asked him! Granted Jake wasn't very good at video games at all. The controller frustrated him more than anything and in the way of gamer language:

 He sucked monkey balls at video games. Hard.

 So perhaps when Roxy had suggested he try a shooting game, he was all over that. Definitely! Yessir! Shooting was something he could do. And granted, this was a bit more retro and all the more appealing the more Jake stared at it at first. The shotgun-like controller was much more appealing than the black handheld doodad Roxy had pushed into your hands a couple times before. No twisty knobs or colored buttons, just your plain old trigger and reload!

 Just the way Jake liked it.

 Or so he thought.

 "Wow Jake, wooooow," Roxy was lounged out on the couch as Jake missed hitting any one of the pixelated ducks for the fifteenth time. "U sure u dont wanna give it a break?" And snapping Jake turned to her.

 "Confound it, no! There isn't one thing in the darned world that Jake English can't shoot!" and he proceeded to try again and again.

 Only to maybe get a couple to actually work.

 "It's okay jakey," Roxy's hand was on his shoulder again as he slumped over in defeat as he let her take the gun from him. She looked at the toy weapon controller, looking at it and then the TV and then down before suddenly laughing, causing Jake to look at her with confusion.

 "Lmao, jake. Jake the readin sensor is off."

[04:34] TG: *spins aroudn in chair, strokling the cat in my lap villainously*

[04:34] TG: mr english

[04:35] GT: Its been too long miss lalonde.

[04:35] TG: why tyes

[04:35] TG: yes it ihas

[04:36] TG: what have you to report to me

[04:38] GT: Alls quiet on the front, no bumbling vigilantees to speak of.

[04:38] GT: Though id give em a what for if so! Ha.

[04:39] TG: ahh good

[04:39] GT: Other than that, im more than certain our objective is on the move.

[04:40] TG: all acocrding to plan

[04:40] GT: Indeed. And our next move?

[04:42] TG: well weve had alittle update in the info logs as of recent

[04:45] GT: Really? More of that peculiar coded nonsense thats been popping up?

[04:45] TG: in case u wenret aware theres apprently some really shitty stuff going on

[04:45] TG: in all one hundred peresecents of serious

[04:45] TG: *perscents

[04:45] TG: *purr scents

[04:49] GT: Jiminy cricket, thats a lot of serious!

[04:49] GT: Please, do elaborate.

[04:51] TG: one of the trolls apparently got dead

[04:51] TG: but not completley or some shit

[04:51] TG: and now her bodys bein used by evil gods that weve got to stoop apparently

[04:52] GT: Jesus christmas! 

[04:52] TG: jesus chrismass is rite

[04:53] GT: I thought all of this normalcy was a bit too good to be true.

[04:54] GT: Not that well be backing down from a challenge, no siree.

[04:54] TG: excatly!!

[04:55] TG: gonna make this shit nromal as possible again

[04:55] TG: and im glad ur here to help now :3

[04:55] GT: Of course!

[04:56] GT: You can count me in, guns blazing and ready to go!

[04:56] GT: *brandishes pistols*

[04:57] TG: whoa ther tiger

[04:57] TG: dont put an eye out

[04:57] TG: u need those for quality winkin

[04:58] GT: Naturally, heheh.

[04:58] GT: Do we know which troll is under that dargoned confounded spell?

[04:59] TG: pfffhehehe did i ever miss your ridic wordage

[04:59] TG: ye her names feferi

[05:04] GT: I dont believe so, ha, and oh?

[05:04] GT: Feferi...hm.

[05:04] GT: Never heard of her.

[05:05] TG: well hopefully youll get to meet her if we ever get this shit sorted the fuck out

[05:07] GT: Definitely.

[05:07] GT: Im sure shes a fine gal.

[05:08] GT: Hm, im curious as to what sort of magicy weirdness were dealing with here though.

[05:09] GT: Gods always have some weirdo sparkledust powers. Especially evil ones.

[05:09] TG: apparently these are dark tentactly ones

[05:09] GT: Oh shit.

[05:11] GT: I vaguely recall something similar existing in the game...they still exist?

[05:12] TG: apparently

[05:13] TG: and theyre bein big giant tentacly douches

[05:15] GT: I trust our other friends are in on the matter?

[05:15] TG: yup

[05:16] TG: janeys actualy pretty important with whats goin on now

[05:16] TG: consindering she can apparently help bring this chick back

[05:16] TG: some kinda lifey thing

[05:16] TG: except idk wat dirks doin

[05:16] TG: probably domsehting ridic and overblown w/o tellin anyone as usual

[05:17] GT: Good ol jane!

[05:18] GT: And hm, thats expected of the elusive dirk strider.

[05:18] TG: yeah unfortunately

[05:19] TG: but w.e theres no helpin that guy

[05:21] GT: Perhaps ill try my hand at flagging him down.

[05:22] GT: Granted, in the past its been a ring around the rosie of hit and miss.

[05:25] GT: What of the other trolls? 

[05:26] GT: They all seem to be peculiar fellows, save aranea.

[05:28] TG: ahh u should hit him up hes annoyin me right now

[05:28] TG: but yeah thers some good trolls

[05:29] TG: most ive met are pretty aweosme

[05:29] TG: ok about all of em ive met

[05:35] GT: Oh? Ill do that then, hows he being annoying?

[05:35] TG: just bein a strider the usual

[05:36] TG: not rly his fault i guess im just kinda on edge rn

[05:36] GT: I understand.

[05:36] GT: Well sort through all of this.

[05:37] GT: Is it this feferi matter thats got you on edge?

[05:37] GT: I feel as if there may be something else troubling you.

-- toastyGrammarian [TG] changed their mood to CHUMMY  --

[05:42] TG: muhhh

[05:45] TG: well i got a boyfriend that keeps getting injured if that counts 4 anything

[05:46] GT: That is rather promblematic.

[05:47] TG: yeah iti s

[05:48] GT: How is it he keeps getting himself all roughed up?

[05:49] TG: i uh

[05:49] TG: varioiyus

[05:49] TG: ways

[06:01] TG: its not rly stuff i wnana talk about buht yeah its worrisome

[06:02] GT: Its okay rox.

[06:03] GT: Keep your head up, im sure things will get better.

[06:12] TG: ima punch anything in the tit that makes it not wanna happen so yeah it better get better

[06:12] TG: but u thinkin that makes me feel better :3

[06:12] GT: Haha, there we go! Theres the roxy i know.

[06:15] TG: ahhh jake ur p much the best sometimes <3

[06:16] GT: Oh goodness.

[06:16] TG: not even annoyed anymore

[06:16] TG: lmfao

[06:19] TG: u talked to mr strider yet

[06:19] GT: I was just about to, an issue came up but its been handled accordingly.

[06:23] GT: Or not, ah, please give me a few moments to figure out this confounded system on my computer.

[06:23] -- gadaboutTemerarian [GT] stopped messaging toastyGrammarian [TG] at 18:23 --

[06:25] -- gadaboutTemerarian [GT] began messaging toastyGrammarian [TG] at 18:25 --

[06:26] GT: I believe its all ship shape once more.

[06:26] GT: Sorry about that.

[06:27] TG: no prob lo

[06:27] TG: *lol

[06:29] TG: well i g3g but ill check on u later k?

[06:29] TG: u kids play nice ;3