#tip show

I either inadvertently invented time travel or I’m ill.

No one knew it was a fanfic, and Jack didn’t read the title, but the Gabriel story, “Auralism,” went over perfectly. There’s something about a man who loves sex and laughing.... I just knew Jack would read Gabriel well, and he did.

I love how this show started. I LOVE IT! Enthusiastic consent is incredibly sexy and holy fuck how I wish I had known the concept (or more accurately, how I wish my partner at various times had known that concept) and that I had been confident enough to make my lack of enthusiastic content known when I was a teenager!

I don’t care that Jack masterbates constantly- I’m gonna touch his hand if he ever offers. The whole “fuck it, do it,” attitude as GLW hasn’t bitten me in the ass yet, so, I’m gonna go with it.

Yay, my poem choice, “The Shadow Man”, made the cut! And Jack read it with a bit of a limerick tone, which - as he sometimes does- completely changed how I though of it. I thought of it as haunting and quiet, but he made it kind of boisterous and jovial. I’m not sure which I prefer, but it seems like two different poems now…

“Frida Kahlo to Marty MacConnell” should be required reading in every health class, when (hopefully) they talk about healthy relationships, and the aftermath. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

Yay - second request made it, too! “My Type” by Augustus Christopher struck me as something interesting for Jack to read, mainly because I’ve seen him post that question from anons a bunch of times. I think my favorite part was when he read “I would/ Have to say that it's more emotional/ Than it would ever be physical,”  - not for the content, but more for the lilt in his voice… Even though I do request poems at most of the tip shows I get to, it’s not my favorite medium by a long shot, mainly because of how most people read it: dead words on a page, like reading numbers. Jack read that line in particular so perfectly, making the poem’s words feel less like someone talking to themselves or an audience, and more like they were actually answering a question put to them. And I really like that.

SMUT TIME, TIME FOR SMUT!

No, false alarm - time to talk about people’s pressure of speech and the stupid and pointless things it makes them say. Jack referenced Douglas Adams, and because I’m a huge geek I knew exactly what quote he was talking about: "If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, their brains start working.”

NOW it’s time for porn.

Hmmm…”Good Boy,” male sub story… but he seems to be topping from the bottom, even in just the public conversation…and it seems like a stage manager would be dominant. I’ve known a few, and it’s all about the control for them.

And it’s not that dominants have to be super aggressive, or confident all the time, it’s just… this woman doesn’t seem to have *it.*

But she does have- as Jenny Lawson would say- a “sex concussion, motherfucker!”

This guy sounds a bit more like a bottom, as opposed to a sub - no, wait… she’s making him beg a bit, and jerk himself off and that’s bridging the gap a bit.

“Oh. fuck, oh, fuck…here it comes.” - Jack’s delivery of this line was perfection.

Oh, a college story (“Quiet Hours”) - nice. Oh, holy hell - was she really considering masterbating in the group coed bathroom? College boys- even the nice, pervy boys I dated- were filthy, and college bathrooms were vile and it’s entirely possible that my germ issues are worse than I thought. I’m gonna try to ignore my crazy and enjoy this story. End result - story was enjoyed because oral sex, and a giving partner are awesome!

Sigh…I can’t  help but get a little happy jolt when Jack reads the first line of something I’ve requested. I don’t know if Aly or Jack decides what gets read, but the idea that Jack at least skimmed the piece and liked it …well, it makes me smile. Every fangirl wants to think the subject of their attention sees them, at least a bit. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, anyway - I bookmarked the Arrow AU, “Heartbeats (chapter 36),” a while ago - I think I’ve mentioned what teacher/student stories do to me 😳, and this seemed like a good time to request it.

And, boy howdy, am I glad I did. Jack did a fucking lovely job reading this, and my considerate wifi waited until just after he finished reading to have a seizure, so I have no idea what he though of it. Awesome.

Big news: Jack’s healing up enough to have PIZZA! Amazing, fantastic!

That, and the whole “leaving the house everyday”-thing - so great! I mean, I don’t want to leave the house everyday, or anything…I make a point of staying in at least one day a week because I am forced to leave at least five days a week…kinda hate that. But, congrats on your progress, Jack!

There’s just something about Jack reading poetry… I’m not actually a big fan of poetry - more of a prose girl, really. But, as a poetry professor of mine once said, “Poetry was meant to be heard, and should not lay flat on the page,” and Jack brings them to life…and yay, he read the poem I requested, Desiderata.

“How to give your cat a pill”: This. Was. Hysterical! And, thought I don’t have a cat, from what I’ve heard, sounds entirely accurate. I legitimately couldn’t stop laughing the whole time!

There are times when Jack hesitates, sounds like he’s weirded out a bit, laughs, and calls us sons of bitches…that I’m pretty sure I know he’s about to read my request… YAY! It made him laugh so hard! Fucking victory! I like the Phil/Clint ‘ship… I’m not sure why, but I dig it. But the amount of ridiculously weird and just out of character stuff around is truly amazing. I was very happy when I found “Oversight” by sabinelagrande; pervy, right length, and I was pretty sure it would tickle everyone’s funny bones…and it did! 

The story with the woman, Flannery… If a character gets to adulthood and has never even come close to an orgasm, if there’s a history to the character that hints at a really negative reason for that lack of experience… maybe that’s not the story to submit an excerpt from? Just my opinion…

Ooohhh, and a phone sex session - love hearing this, perfect way to end the show!

My goodness… Lin is a freakin’ queen! “I might say I’m nervous but I sound confident like a boss!” is all I’m hearing. Damn… the few phone sex recordings of Jack’s that I’ve heard, it’s mostly Jack talking and guiding - which is awesome, but this one… she’s vocal and a really active participant. I genuinely blushed, very nearly felt wrong listening in - it felt super private, and it was a gift to be able to listen to it.

I didn’t have anything super dirty to request today... having trouble finding things that fit all of my, and Jack’s, requirements.

He did read the 3 poems I requested (nearly everything Margaret Atwood writes is awesome), as well as the funny/dirty piece, “Innuendo,” that I asked for- and it seemed very well received. He did read it perfectly, though, so that wasn’t a surprise.

The sexy pieces... I don’t know... the second one bounced back and forth between two POVs, and there are certain words that sound ...off... in an American accent -“Arse,” “knickers,” “bloody,” “wank,”- and the randomness of the sudden domination and weird bit of backstory-

Oh, wait, Jack is calling it out as bad as I type this, so I don’t feel like I have to be polite about it. Jack read it as well as was possible, but it was just... yech.

And this third one... what the actual fuck?! What anti-Semitic, middle-school math club secretary wrote this shit? Honestly, this one was just super fucked in a hilariously bad way. And I hope the author never gets laid.

That feeling when the other Ladies of the Knight were giggling at your story request but the laughter slowly dies away to be replaced by fan and “wet” emojis ... curious, that..