#tiny miracles

tiny constellations.

Forever and a half ago, I posted about looking for a song from Allison Scagliotti's now-wiped Soundcloud, called "tiny scags mashup." I listened to it a lot when I was in a weird headspace because it always made me smile (and also, I was just perpetually in a weird headspace for much of my twenties), and I had it burned to a CD that I'm pretty sure got thrown in the trash when I cleaned out Liv's van for the last time four years ago.

I had mostly forgotten about that post until yesterday, when I got a message from @daintyharru asking if I'd found anyone to share the song with me.

I had not, but wow was I excited to hear it again.

I had to go to an apprehension-generating doctor's appointment this morning, and played it all the way home just so I could keep smiling.

Soooooo I have an update coming this week for my friends here on tumblr. An update I’ve been getting a few comments on A03 about. 

And because it’s been so long since I updated this fic, I thought I’d post a little sneak peak right here:

It's Good Friday, I had work in the morning untill 2PM and I work in the large city centre district. I cannot park my car there and it roughly takes me an hour and 10 minutes to get home at that time because of heavy traffic. I had hoped I'd make it to my home parish for Stations of the Cross at 3PM. I really wanted to go. As I was running along the road, having missed the bus, rain pouring, wondering if I'd make it, I just went "God, if I will make it on time, I will, and please forgive me if I run late. Not much I can do against heavy traffic at rush hour and all the folks going on holidays, as it's the only way home. I put this in your hands." At 3PM sharp, I entered the parish church for the Stations. I made it exactly on time.

Coming home from work..

I saw a sight I thought I would never see,

fireworks ,

red and green sizzling into the darkness

and

lighting zig zagging across the sky at the same time...

The rain didn't hit just yet,

But you can smell it

In the humid air.

the sky was loud,

like my reckless mind..

Rumbling

Smashing things .

The first person I wanted to tell was you,

I laughed at the mere thought..

hovering over the send button..

But I never send it..

I'm not sure what we are any more,

But the memories remain,

That we were something

Perhaps that's why even in the silence ,

I can't seem to let go ..

I walked in the rain till it stopped..

Doing loop after loop

Till I was soggy...

All the words ..

The memories dripped from my skin .

I sat outside for a long time

Watching the stars appear one at a time..

Hide n seek .

Some days I'm excited to be alive..

To breath

To feel..

Today

I'm grateful,

I start crying

Knowing moments of pure happiness,

With me can disappear in a blink of an eye .

So I continue to sit on the steps.

Holding on to it .

With a dumb smile across my face .

Wondering the randomness of these past few days ...

Seeing an angel in the rain

Seeing fireworks and lighting at the same time..

These things seem so petty and inessential

But to me they make all the difference..

04/5/23

2:25am

Imagine the magnitude of this battle in a country like India, where poverty engulfs a massive population like an unconquerable monster.