And if you were to assign animals to the 80s Celtics, what would they be ?
80s C'SSSSS
i have so much fondness in my heart for the 80s teams. like -good god, they were a bunch of trash-talking assholes (cough cough larry and kevin) but they were my team's assholes, you know? and they just played such pretty basketball omg. there's no other word to describe it.
ok ok there were. a lot of 80s celtics, so i chose the ones i could remember off the top of my head, did a google search and out popped a super convenient celtics all-80s team list
larry bird - peregrine falcon
listen, you can't really say any other animal for bird, than a bird.
just smtg about larry's frame reminds me of a falcon. and i'm not talking shit about his bones here (rip his back, should've hired a professional for that driveway), but body wise, he's just long.
in terms of game too, peregrine falcons are the fastest creatures on earth and ok i know what y'all are going to say. BUT hear me out! ik bird was uhhh... not the most athletic freak out there, but some of his passes are just absolute lasers! he just whips them out behind the back like it's nothing (which in itself is crazy -you're not supposed to have that level of playmaking with the kinda size that larry legend had!) and really, one might even say that some of his passes required... bird's eye vision (pls forgive me for the pun i couldn't help myself)
kevin mchale - maned wolf
the thing is: the dude looks so awkward. it's the sharp shoulders, the long arms -he just looks too big for his body. but then you see him move and this dude's highlights are genuinely fucking astonishing. like you scoff at all the oldheads grumbling but then you watch this guy and you're like 'damnnnn i haven't see anyone move in the post like that'.
anyways maned wolves have freakishly long legs, kevin mchale's wingspan is listed as 8'0 (which -ok you can never trust the exact stats of a player but this dude's reach was still fucking insane).
robert parish - tiger
chief! all three animals for the big three are actually solitary animals and yeah, the big three are kinda all introverts. rare to see them up and about these days (also has to do with age too i think).
anyways i'm very content with who i've chosen for the big three, but lmk if anyone has any other ideas (choosing animals is SOOOO difficult).
dennis johnson - mongoose
rip dj, what a player.
'now that's a steal by bird, underneath to dj, lays it in!' iconic. like i fucking wish so much that we had jrue/derrick for as long as we had dj/danny. oh the woes of loving defensive-minded pgs 😔
danny ainge - least weasel
coincidence that the two members of the backcourt are similar animals? ehh kinda just happened if i'm being honest, but i think it kinda fits. anyways weasels are cute. i think they have a bit of an undeserved reputation (courtesy of the word weaselly) but i also hold a great deal of affection for danny and his gm antics. i have no idea what's happening in utah!
gerald henderson
henderson steal gotta be top five in celtics history, right? we lose 84 without it!
anyways, from what i've gathered, he's a very positive player so i was searching up photos of animals smiling for the longest time and came across this cute fox!
bill walton - red kangaroo
oh bill... rip.
injuries killed his career but he was very much beloved for the few years he was here and he was soooo GOOD in the 86 season (speaking of 86, that team... sheesh)
why a red kangaroo? well, he's a redhead. duh.
cedric maxwell - wombat
MAX!
it's always kinda contentious when a player leaves your team on bad terms, but honestly, this happened in the 80s and i really do think celtics fans need to get over it. i'm pretty sure that aside from satch and cooz, he's the oldest celtic player still living in boston and he literally does a podcast on the team and clearly has a close relationship with the current players and. i think he's a good dude, is all. and wombats are pretty cute, don't you think?
nate archibald - cheetah
TINY!!!!!!!
famously known for his speed, sometimes i wonder how the later 80s teams (more known for their half-court game) would've been affected by his preference for a faster pace... anyways my fondness for small pgs is showing a little....
(listen. i think it's very admirable how they can carve out a spot for themselves on the court despite being. vertically challenged
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