My date with a guy named Brad
I should have known he wasnāt for me when I learned he was a professional ballroom dancer but I thought āwould I hold that against Max from dancing with the stars?ā No I wouldnāt. So it shouldnāt be a deal breaker for Brad.
But the rest of the date was one big deal breakerĀ !
BradĀ : when I was in high school, I had uncontrollable erections. I thought I was the only one. I mean there was nothing I could do about it!
MeĀ : crickets crickets crickets
Brad: sometimes I have sexual problems and I think Iām the only one experiencing them. I donāt know what to do.
Me: have you ever heard of google?it has the answers to all questions.
Brad: penises are so disgusting. I donāt know how anyone can ******* (I wonāt subject you to this). I mean Iām glad girls will do this and once in awhile I find a girl who wants my penis and that makes me happy.
Me: crickets crickets crickets ā¦.. Do you want to see some dick pics this other guy sent me? One of them has a little red bow tie!
Brad: Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh!!!
Me: (to myself) I think Brad likes peen more that heās willing to admit.
Brad: my roommate and I have 2 huge TVs in our apartment. I have a really big one in my bedroom that I have hooked up to my computer
Me: oh sweet! So you can stream netflix or do work right from your bed
Brad: no. For porn. The internet was only invented for porn
Me: or for connecting the planet digitally, or online shopping, or email or social mediaā¦
Brad: nope. Just for porn
Brad: should we split it?
