Okay. So normally, hand tattoos totally do it for me. Like...if your hands are covered in ink, I'll probably want 'em all over my naked body too. #iamanelegantlady. HOWEVER, this beautiful beast has... um ....the alphabet on his knuckles? And some numbers? I'm not into tattoo shaming but holy fuck that is literally a KINDERGARTEN CLASS CHALKBOARD. Lady boner = dead 😞

No question.

fuck. when it comes to nightmare brooklyn scenarios, being serenaded by a melancholy bro with a banjo ranks pretttttty high on the list. i would rather put that bonfire out with my face .

"You know what they says laaaadies... ANYTHING is a dildo if you're brave enough!!!!!"

Is it bad that my first concern here was like, weather concerns? "BUT WHAT IF IT GETS WINDY? WHERE ARE THE BAGGIES?" Frankly, this lack of proper planning just pains me.

I don’t mean to be presumptuous. But I’m willing to bet these fellows have some truly spectacular drug connections .

In all honesty, I would marry this man. I see a beautiful future of fart-patio hangs on the horizon.

When people ask me what's it's like being a chick on Tinder, I just send them this pic...🍆 #blessed