#timw

He doesn’t understand how Buck has apparently been feeling this way for multiple months and Eddie had no idea. Was he that self-involved, that ignorant? How could he be in so much pain right in front of his face and he just be blind to it?

“I love you,” he whispers, leaning over and planting a kiss to the top of Buck’s head, lingering for a long moment, eyes closed, breath even. Finally, he pulls away and grabs the blanket off the back of the couch, unfolding it over Buck’s long body and covering him from his feet to his chin.

Thank you @hippolotamus and @evanbegins for the tags! Here, I have a tease from my chronic illness Buck fic. It is tentatively titled ‘this is my war’.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he can’t breathe through his nose, snot and tears clogging his sinuses. Once he does though, he begins to sob. He can’t tell the tears apart from the water but he tastes the salty liquid when it rolls over his lips and down his chin. His chest shakes with the weight of his convulsive cries, and before he knows it his knees give out from under him. He gracelessly falls to the floor of the tub, water rolling in rivulets down his back where he’s facing away from the stream. He maneuvers his legs out from under him, drawing them up to his chest and laying his head against his knees.

The water burns where it’s hitting his back, but it at least distracts him from the other pain that’s overtaken him. So he sits there, water eviscerating his skin, and he cries. He drifts a little, really only half there, but the pain is ever present. Against two different pain killers, hot water, and even dissociation, the pain is still there, and Buck is beginning to wonder if it always will be.

Hehe