#timothyharris

I remember when Space Jam was originally released. It was a big deal. The BIGGEST deal. I can’t tell you how I felt about it then, but I know how I do today. This movie is like getting hit in the head with an anvil. Sounds funny, but in practice...

On the intergalactic amusement park "Moron Mountain", profits are sinking. To bolster attendance, alien Mr. Swackhammer (voiced by Danny DeVito), decides to kidnap and enslave the Looney Tunes. Horrified at the idea of performing for screaming children for the rest of eternity, Bugs Bunny (voiced by Billy West) tricks Swackhammer’s minions into competing in a game of basketball. If the Tunes win, the extraterrestrials will set them free, but to stand a chance, they’ll need the help of Michael Jordan (playing himself).

Michael Jordan does a decent job considering he was largely playing against nothing on-set (the Tunes are hand-drawn so they were added in post-production) he's got to be the best basketball player-turned-actor I’ve ever seen… but he’s still no Oscar winner. He’s merely charismatic, which shouldn't be confused with “good”. You don’t get to learn anything about the man except that he likes to wear his old college shorts and that everyone loves him. You also don’t get to see a whole lot of awesome basketball moves. This means the weight of this picture will have to be carried by the Looney Tunes. How do they fare?

If you’re keenly familiar with Daffy Duck (voiced here by Dee Baker), Elmer Fudd (also West), or Sylvester the Cat (Bill Farmer), you might as well pull out your gun and put this film down before you even hit play. The spirit of the classic cartoon isn't present in this product-placement-laced film. The voices are so-so facsimiles at best, with Mel Blanc having passed away before the film was started. The humor doesn't feel right either. Instead of fast-paced action perfectly suited for short stories, we have a plot that’s slow, building up for about an hour to lead to a basketball game. Instead of having to outsmart his opponents, Bugs has to outmuscle them by using basketball skills. At a glance it might fool you upon closer inspection, all Space Jam and the classic cartoons have in common are similar-looking characters, anvils, and dynamite.

None of this would've mattered if the film was funny. Instead of just “going with it”, like you did when Wile E. Coyote smashed into what turned out to be a simple drawing on the wall, you can’t help questioning everything. If the Looney Tunes really wanted to challenge the alien invaders to a game they couldn’t lose, how about Russian Roulette? You go first! When the creatures steal the basketball-playing “powers” (that’s what they call them) how come they spontaneously generate clothes and grow to enormous size? If being tall is part of their "powers", shouldn’t the players (there are several NBA cameos in the film) shrink? Why does this picture include a reference to Pulp Fiction? What's Bill Murray doing in this picture except doing producer Ivan Reitman a favor?

Watching the film again, you find that it does not hold up. Take a look at the backgrounds during the big game. You’ll see that the animators simply could not handle the job that was given to them. The stands are filled with characters who've been copied and pasted by a computer that tried to randomly distribute them so you wouldn’t notice the doubles, but it you easily will. In the crowds, you’ll notice several turtles with mismatched heads, clearly an image link was misplaced at one point. You’ll see layering errors and eerily synched cheers by a half dozen skunks, all turned to the left. It’s so distracting the foreground could feature three bikini babes doing jump rope and spraying whipped cream at each other and you wouldn’t notice. Speaking of babes, the film also introduces a new Looney Tunes character, Lola (Kath Soucie). This character is nothing but a gender-swapped Bugs Bunny, but without the attitude that made you fall in love with, or any laughs.

Space Jam can be fun to watch if you're a supervillain in the making. Sit down with someone who remembers it fondly. Make off-hand remarks about the little imperfections throughout until you break them down and realize Space Jam isn't good. It’s not a good sports movie or a good comedy. (On DVD, July 15, 2016)