Apr 12, 2024
i’m beginning to think buck doesn’t actually know precisely what being an ally means and what it entails…
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i’m beginning to think buck doesn’t actually know precisely what being an ally means and what it entails…
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my beautiful girl. the light of my life
url change 😌 beggingyoutolovemeanyways -> lovebitebuck
[image description: a segment of a fic that reads
Buck looks washed out, like this. Looks like the colour got burned out of him until all that’s left was ash, stuck in the shape of him. Or maybe like salt. Like he was Lot’s wife, and he looked back, and he ran into that fire and—
But Eddie doesn’t want to look at him like he’s not Buck, not technicolor and living body and best friend. He wants to look at him and see him move, see him flush, see him look up instead of back, instead of looking into the thing that’s gonna freeze him here, preserved like salt in front of Eddie’s eyes.
end description.]
hehe! working on a fic that isn't my rock tumbler buck fic... >:)
nothing going on just thinking about buck diving in after christopher. immediately. no hesitation. no thinking. just a scream of his name and diving in. have you ever loved someone like they were an organ in your own body? have you ever felt your heart beating outside of your chest?
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buck is "sorry about the blood in my mouth, i wish it wasn't yours. i wish it was mine."
he literally said love me anyways. every single thing he’s done and all the guilt he carries and the blame he believes he deserves and ultimately he just wants someone to love him anyways.
i have this magic trick i do while waiting for the next episode, and it goes like this: i can scroll through tumblr and see gifsets and images of buck, and—here's where the magic trick comes in—i think to myself right now, in this moment, this buck that i am seeing on my screen is dead. this is someone who is dead, and someone whose best friend is going to do cpr on until his heart starts again. this is someone whose best friend screamed his name over and over before lowering his body to the ground. to the arms of his captain and father figure. this is someone whose brother(-in-law) almost tried to use a lifepack on him, because he couldn't deal with the thought that his heart wasn't beating at all. it's not a very fun magic trick. it makes my tummy hurt