#timesassin

“ HERE , KID — ” they hold out a brown paper bag full of stolen pastries and candy , all mixed in like a deadly cocktail of sugar and syrup and artificial flavoring . “ brought you a snack . ”

“ COFFEE , ” they state very simply , setting a mug down on the table . she almost seems to appear out of nowhere . it’s fresh , steaming , and strong ; oliver always describes it as ‘ strong enough to drink you back ’ . hands rummage in apron pockets , then a single , thin red straw is dropped into the mug . “ i promise you , i didn’t put any chemicals or anything to make you see ghosts or turn the frogs gay or anything . ” she cocks her head towards the grouchy middle aged man in the far corner booth , all hunched up in flannel and denim and wrapped in the scent of cheap whiskey . “ that’s what he thinks and refuses to drink the coffee i serve . he’ll eat the pancakes , though . APPARENTLY POISONING is only possible in COFFEE . ”

“ i don’t ! I'M SMARTER THAN YOU THINK ! ” is she smart ? yes . is she a bit too trusting ? also yes . she’ll learn this lesson one day , BUT TODAY IS PROBABLY NOT THE DAY . “ i’m not giving trust to just any ol’ joe . i’m like , ALOOF and MYSTERIOUS . ”

“ THAT’S THE THING , i am THE village crazy person . i get ya there , ” she points a finger , chuckling . “ anyways , you’re like , TWELVE , right ? HOW DO PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE CRAZY ? did you kill someone’s cat or something ? ”

“ BECAUSE ! i’m a god . simple ! ” oliver adorns a proud smile , like she’s just received the highest honor one could ever have . she stays like this for a moment , though a mischievous glint in her eye seems to signify something else. “ also , i broke in to the archives and read everything in a night . i mean , it’s fascinating stuff , really . ” they tap onto their temple and wink — “ everything you and i need to know about everything ever , is all UP HERE now ! ”

❖ @timesassin​ said:  “ unexpected guest “ harley breaking into the academy *eyeballs*

—         IT’S A BIG ol' fancy place, right in the city, squeezed stone between more stony buildings.  it’s got windows though and harley is climbing right through one, dripping blood on the floor.  her arm’s broken and probably her nose too.  she swipes her good across her face, smearing the nose-blood across her cheek.  she walks down the halls like she belongs there, opening doors to rooms.  oh!  she’s like goldie locks!  which bed was ‘just right’? 

he’d tried to keep his eyes on five - at least give off the impression that he was listening. but everything with five was always end of the world this and three days until we all die that! couldn’t ever ever just start a conversation with a simple how are you? it was early and diego was tired. he wasn’t sure at what point his eyes had wandered, transfixing themselves onto an ant hauling its bread crumb meal away and silently hoping it got to wherever it was headed safely - always rooting for the little guy. 

boop! 

his attention immediately shot back to five, confusion throwing him into a state of alertness as he aimlessly swatted at the air in front of his face. “ did you just... what the hell, five? ”