God bless them, but some dads are so flaky. They come home from work- before mom- and go straight upstairs to watch t.v. in bed while the nanny takes care of their children. Think mom does that? Hell no. She comes home from working her full-time job and relieves the nanny so that we can go home from our full-time job.Ā
About a year ago, I was working for a family that both mom and dad worked full time and I was with the child all day. There were a lot of extraneous circumstances that can explain the child's bad behavior but it's irrelevant to this story so I'll leave it out. Dad comes home, slips by the kids, and goes directly upstairs to watch t.v. in the bedroom. Let me just go on the record and say that when moms come home they relieve the nanny and take up their duties. They don't go upstairs and ignore their responsibilities as a parent! ANYWAY, the little boy, *Clint, who has just turned 4 is fighting with his 7 year old sister, *Faith. I pick him up to take him in the other room to separate them because verbal demands to do so aren't working and Faith has started a temper tantrum and started screaming. Already pissed at dad for ignoring his children, I pick Clint up and storm into the living room. On the way, Clint, mad at me for not letting him have his way, slaps me across the face-- so hard my face was still stinging 15 minutes later. For that, he got a time out. He is only 4 so his time outs are only 4 minutes long. Not even 2 minutes in of screaming and hysterical FAKE crying-- as in only crying because he's mad and didn't get his way and is being punished. He's not actually in physical or attention-necessary emotional pain-- dad comes downstairs. He suddenly wants to be a parent! He walks into the room and goes straight to the child. I say, "Clint is in timeout for hitting me. He still has 2 more minutes before he can get up." Dad looks at Clint, starts rubbing his back and comforting him shhhing him and once he's babied him enough and Clint has calmed down. Dad says to him, "Clint, we don't hit in this house. Now go say your sorry and give her a hug." ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? If you want me to be in charge then do not come and over step me and take over while I am in the middle of a punishment. I just lost any authoruty I had with the kids. Now they know that when daddy is home EVEN THOUGH HE IS NOT AROUND the nanny has no power. Let me inform you that with that family-- consequently because of his incident-- the children were well behaved when we were alone but 15 minutes before mom and dad got home, the children would start acting out because they knew that punishment would not be carried out.
In conclusion, while I understand you as the parent trump the nanny in authority when you come home, I ask you to respect her and allow her to follow through on punishments that are in progress when you get home. When the child sees you supporting her decisions, it creates this understanding that the nanny is an adult that is to be respected and followed too.
