#time decor

I wanna share this playlist that's essentially been my crutch this whole summer to get over shitty feelings and depressive thoughts, the ones that rise especially during evenings and night time. Life can suck and there are times you can't catch a break, this can go on for months. I made this to escape that feeling and curl into an emotional blanket of sounds. The photo is a view of the twilight from my previous apartment back in Pune. I actually can't remember if this was a sunset or sunrise that I was watching, but it’s the feeling and place in time that I'm chasing.

The actual playlist is at the bottom but here's some of my favorites I want to highlight.

PS: I’m at a much better place now, which is why I want to put this out there. If this brings comfort to even one soul somewhere, I’d be glad :)

Rhye - Open (SOHN Remix) This is the first song, it's a moodsetter for sure. Rhye's music is already the aural chicken soup for the broken soul. SOHN transcends this feeling to the next dimension and adds a little bit of playful tension on the song with his gorgeously layered beats. It'll melt you. Perfume Genius - Alan "Did you notice / We sleep through the night Did you notice, babe / Everything is alright" My knees will never stop shaking to this. Chance The Rapper - Same Drugs Ever since I heard him kill his verse on Ultralight Beam, I've been in love with lil Chano and his earnest gospel rap. Dear future kids at some point, if you ever wanted to know what your dad's quarter-life crisis sounded like, well look no further. Bread - Everything I Own I found this song from Jamie xx's remix of Barbara Mason's version of this. And while I keep bumping that mix from time to time, nothing beats the vulnerability of the original version written to honor the late father of Bread frontman, David Gates. Fleetwood Mac - Everywhere This song is the dose of positivity I need to get out of bed and remind myself that everything is going to be five hundred percent okay. 

Spotify Playlist

“It’s been a shaky ass year”

I have writer’s block for life. I mean that in two ways - I’m almost always struggling to find the right words to articulate what I’m thinking (so therefore I end up saying nothing), and for the better half of this year, I’ve been confused about which direction I take next in this journey of life. It’s brutal trying fight the feelings of hopelessness and horrible thoughts coming in and out, while still trying to remain positive for others and yourself.

Mid-May I moved back home in the Arab Emirates and yet, came to a place where everything was unfamilar. Navigating through a familar foriegn land, I found my solace in my iPod and playlists. I’ve fallen back in love with loving music again and find myself comfortable to write once more. I want to start with the music that’s helped me get out my spirals and feel better about myself.

‘Ye’ by Kanye West (2018)

One of the big reasons to be excited in May was knowing Kanye West was producing again - working on not one, but five albums including one of his own. Following that hype train on a daily basis was a fun distraction for my cousins and I. There are few artists today with a rich and excellent body of work that spans across several genres of music. From my point of view, Kanye is one of those people who has consistently pushed boundaries and shattered expectations with each studio album release. I’ve always found feel good vibes and positivity in his music, no matter what.

Confused at the first listen (as always) on the Day 1, I ended up listening to Ye on repeat for the entire next two weeks, taking this with me everywhere I went. Clocking over 200 listens on my last.fm since its release just two months ago, I have to say that I don’t think I’ve found any recent album more brutally thought provoking and yet so accessible like Ye has been.

This is an impulsive, unfinished compilation of one guy’s thoughts strewn across twenty-three minutes - from the deeply disturbing to the warm and wholesome.

Decending into darkness with I Thought About Killing You and Yikes, I find myself connecting a lot with Ye’s ideas of accepting and taking loud ownership of your disturbed psyche. Narrating a battle with drug addiction, Ye tells us it’s okay for shit to hit the fan and you shouldn't be afraid to go seek out for help. 

Wouldn’t Leave sobers the mood as Kanye get his ass handed to him not by the media or public, but by his wife’s schooling him. With an outro calling for guys to be thankful for their lovers who’ve put up with their shit, this song smacks me in the face as I flash through my own relationships. 

Even though there’s tons of clever wordplay in All Mine, glorifying the desire to act upon your urges, I’m not really able to vibe with this too much. It’s just uncomfortable now. On No Mistakes, which I absolutely love for Kid Cudi and Charlie Wilson’s gospel-like hook: “Make no mistake girl, I still love you”, I’m not particularly impressed Kanye’s verse - dissing Drake here just isn’t worth his time and does that hook no justice. But that Slick-Rick sample is just so fiiiiine.

Across this album you can sense an undercurent of conflicting emotions, notably with the final Violent Crimes. Kanye fears his daughter growing up in a world of perverts and womanizers, a hypocritical and self-aware sentiment as Kanye does Kanye: “But how you the devil rebukin' the sin? Let's pray we can put this behind us.” 070 Shake brings her magic again in a beautiful chorus that closes out the track before a voicemail from Nicki Minaj plays out. 

Nicki gives him a couple of lines (used earlier in this track) before going, "I don't know how you sayin' it but, let 'em hear this." which in a way captures the whole artistic mission behind the whole album - Ye is a body of work that could have easily been better articulated with more time and input, but would then lose out on its raw energy. It had to be heard for a now, in-the-moment moment. You won’t find any justification here to his recent behaviour, with the MAGA hat and Trump supporting, and I’m very let down by that. But that’s usually the case when you try to dig deep into troubled thoughts, you’re only going to unravel more shit.

At the end of the day, I love this album. It’s been good company during my travels and its all the countless imperfections that make it perfect to me.

Best track: Ghost Town

Some day we gon' set it off Some day we gon' get this off Baby, don't you bet it all On a pack of Fentanyl You might think they wrote you off They gon' have to rope me off Someday the drama'll be gone And they'll pray, it's not enough

Arriving at Ghost Town is what absolutely takes the cake as this insta-classic soundtracks a lovers’ escape, leaving all the drama behind. It's an off-key, vulnerable epic that soars in its last two minutes as newcomer 070 Shake sweeps you off your feet: "And nothing hurts anymore, I feel kinda free". In all the shitty space my head's been in, this song's been a wonderful anthem of liberation. Fun fact: This song was finished the day Ye was released. Because obviously.

Couple of interesting things to read/watch from the experts: