#tigerlotus

This is a lovely question in regards to any portrayal of Hinata, depending on the time period of that Hina, but I’m going to skip over the psychoanalytics of Canon Hinata and focus mainly on my version of her (though Canon will still be referenced).

Early into her tale, my Hinata desires less love and more affection or attention. During her moments with people like Andi, Autumn, or Damian, she seeks out affection at any interval. She isn’t clingy, per say, but she would be the person that when close enough to another, will outright hold hands or arms, would use shoulders for resting pads, and would hide among hugs.

I believe this because my Hinata is very evidently touch starved. Her Hiashi wasn’t very affectionate and the lack of Team 8 and Naruto in her life meant that her relationship with Hanabi never had the chance to fix itself, along with several repercussions to her mental and emotional state of being.

Yet, I gave her a minor notation. Hinata has never owned a television, a video game console, and besides school, never a computer. During her college years, she snagged a laptop and brought something she wanted less of enjoyment and more of sentiment; her mother’s favorite film ‘Gone With the Wind’.

This is actually pretty important to your question, as it regards love and loving. Up until meeting Damian (Who showed her ‘Star Wars’ episodes 1 - 6) and Shika (who showed her ‘Bambi’) Hinata had only ever been exposed to a single piece of fictional media in film form, and it was a classic Southern romance turned south (see what I did there!)

For those of you whom never seen the film, while it isn’t my cup of tea, let me use the excerpt for the final plot summary of the film from Wikipedia;

As Scarlett consoles Ashley, Rhett returns to their home in Atlanta; realizing that Ashley only ever truly loved Melanie, Scarlett dashes after Rhett to find him preparing to leave for good. She pleads with him, telling him she realizes now that she has loved him all along and that she never really loved Ashley, but Rhett says that with Bonnie's death went any chance of reconciliation. Scarlett begs him to stay but Rhett rebuffs her and walks out the door and into the early morning fog, leaving her weeping on the staircase and vowing to one day win back his love. [Source]

Rhett spends the whole story chasing Scarlett, rejected time-and-time again until the situation is finally reversed, and we get a neo-classical style ending (oh, those Italians and their neo-classism!) Hinata’s exposure to love is from viewing her parents (her mother dying of breast cancer just within 2000/2001), her uncle and aunt (Hizashi dying overseas in 2003 during Operation Iraqi Freedom) and GWtW. Notice a bleak connection?

Every instance of love and romance Hinata has had a chance to witness ends with either death or seclusion. While Hiashi was never an overly emotional individual, the death of his wife Chika created a vacuum of emotional negligence within the elder Hyuga. And with the death of his brother, Hiashi grew ever further into depression. Hizashi’s wife (and Chika’s sister) grew into the same instability, tearing the secondary Hyuga family apart (which creates its’ own spiraling staircase of dilemmas in the form of Neji). And then of course, Chika’s film that Hinata has gorged on over the years.

Within the canon, like it or not, Hinata’s obsession with Naruto (I really do like NaruHina, but she was a stalker. I will call it like it is) gave Hinata the ability to emulate his courage and determination, but it also gave her goals and allowed her to see someone overcome obstacles. It gave her drive and motivation, it gave her hope. Coupled with Team 8, coupled with an improved relationship with Neji and Hanabi, coupled with her getting Naruto in the end and being recognized by her father, Canonata actually got almost everything she wanted.

My Hina had none of that starting out. This filters into your third question; does she feel capable of being loved?

To explain the Hyuga’s lack of a pupil, I stuck Hinata within the confides of the Marvel and DC universes, and used the mutant gene to explain this. Referred to as ‘Children of the Atom’, the Hyugas were overly affected by the nuking of Nagasaki and Hiroshima, in the form of their offspring being born with the pupil-less eyes. I won’t explore that here as I’m already going to put this behind a read more and that’s ANOTHER can of worms, but it explains itself.

Hinata, lacking confidence and with a growing debt of speech, was bullied through the majority of her obligatory education. Labelled a ‘freak’ and a ‘mutant’, the child was physically and emotional tormented through the majority of her schooling days. Add on the lack of her mother, a close relationship with her family, and no Naru/Team 8, the child reclused inward  The finger twiddling, the stuttering, the pulling away from conversations became staples of her behavior, a constant state of fight or flight.

And in turn, she doesn’t see herself positively. She’s meticulous about her appearance, sure- though not as much as of late- but the idea that someone could like her is

Absurd.

This is a canon trait, too. Her reaction to Naruto during ‘The Last’ is pure discombobulation. The gears turn but by the time it really kicks in what’s happening, the plot device shows up. Which leads me to the final point I’ll make and use the canon to justify that. In fact, that same scene;

In all of Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, and Rock Lee and His Ninja Pals, Hinata has one character trait; her obsession with Naruto. It is the most discussed portion of her personality, for better or worse, and no matter your feelings of ‘The Last’, they showcased a personality trait that hit and undid all of that.

She rejected him.

Canonata shoved his affection away (albeit it begrudgingly and unhappily) to fulfill her own objective and mission. Her feelings towards one were cast aside for the desires and affections of another (her little sister). An individual that had actually treated her maliciously for some years prior to their reconciliation before the 4th Shinobi War. Canonata is a romantic, I do believe this.

But she’s not a hopeless romantic. And she will place value of other things before the value of love. That’s actually volumes about her ability to grow as a character but it speaks about my Hinata as well. She not only can’t see why someone could love or even be interested in her, she also doesn’t have a desire for it.

She wants affection and attention, but relationship, family, love? These concepts are foreign to her. And with every passing moment, they will become more foreign to the pale-eyed girl.