#tiffthoughts

i just want a hug :(

It is raining and all I could thibk about is you. Like, what are we going to do in this kind of weather.

I wonder what I look like in your eyes.

Ya know how it feels when God has his thumb on you regarding something you need to change? It starts off soft with fleeting thoughts that make you go, "Hmm... I might not need to do that." Then it becomes firmer and you see that bad habit manifesting in your life within your relationships or interactions. It turns into a massage when the habit starts to harden into a weight on your heart. That's how I feel about my temper these days. At first it was like, "Ehh I should probably check myself." Then I started becoming more aware of it flaring. Now I have situations, seemingly more frequent, that seem to be triggering it - almost as if it's a test to see if I'm going to adjust my behavior. I'm failing right now. My hand goes up, my head cocks aaand word vomit. The joke amongst some of my friends and husband has been that I'm HOOD or "Don't eff with Tiff." It would make me giggle or smile and sometimes it's almost been a source of pride. I could dust my shoulders off thinking that I'm unfuckwithable. Lately though, I feel like it's more of a weakness. It doesn't feel cute when I tell someone off. I don't feel strong, powerful or unfuckwithable. Instead of replaying it in my head with a smirk and thinking, "I told them." I want to cringe and shirk away from that side of me. It feels as if I should extend grace and be humble. I feel God working on this in me and I'm failing.

When you always miss when bae comes on. 😭😭😭😭

내가 무시 싫어 .