#thyroidectomy

It's Webcomic Day!

So I thought I'd give you a preview of the next webby comic I am working on.

Sugary went well, glued up and bloody. I'm just exhausted now. I think my lips are numb, I should probably get someone for that :/

I've got these squeezing thingies on my legs and they feel pretty great

Idk if they're gonna release today, part of me is hoping they will but my other half is begging to stay.

I am hurtinnb,,, I've just been listening/watching cable

On thursday I got 2 packages in the mail, one from my dear friend Sheb and one from myself. These plushies are huge, they kind of freak me out in the same way mannequins do- or in a similar vein to the scared minion girl. They're cute though and I like the fabric they used on the hair.

https://ko-fi.com/tigerintheflightdeck

paypal.me/tigerintheflightdeck

Any little bit helps, as do reblogs.

Evidence:

He gained a major dad bod in a relatively brief amount of time, despite still being physically active. To be fair, he was in his late 40s when that happened.

I'm certain I saw a thyroidectomy scar on his neck at one point, starting in show episodes that aired in 2015. To me, there is nothing else it could possibly be.

Chris has done multiple zoology shorts solo, and they often involve traveling. Martin has not done any solo shorts that I'm aware of (please link a video if I'm wrong). Chris' solo shorts also involve a lot of physical activity, including some things that Martin is known to love, such as swimming with rare marine creatures. This could be because Martin no longer has the energy he needs for those kinds of adventures.

Fun fact: thyroids are not typically a regenerative organ...unlike the liver or skin. Mine regenerates and tries to kill me.

6 years ago today that I touched my neck and felt a huge, hard lump. 6 years ago that I looked in the mirror and could see it clearly.

I went to the ER and, after waiting for hours, was told that I was the perfect demographic for thyroid cancer. I was 20 years old. I was told that I needed surgery because the tumor was at risk of suffocating me. Suffocating. The pain became so unbearable that I was on opioids for 2 months. For 25 days I had to wait to find out whether the mass was benign or malignant. Whether or not I had cancer.

It was bigger than the surgeon expected. She had to cut deeper into the muscle; had to take more of the gland along with several of my lymph nodes. It hurt. I woke up with a blood-filled bag hanging from a tube laced through my throat. The first time I saw myself after surgery, I cried. I felt, and looked, like Frankenstein's monster.

I've been sick ever since. A body can't function properly with only half a thyroid. I'm tired all the time, yet I can't ever sleep. I have brain fog and joint pain and heart palpitations. The medication that I need to live costs $350 out of my pocket.

You might think this post will end heroically - that it will read, "but despite all of that, I'm still alive and I'm grateful!" And I wish that it did. But the truth is, I grieve this day every single year. I wish it had never happened to me. I hate being sick, and I hate looking in the mirror and seeing my scar. When I notice it in photos, like in the last picture, I sometimes still want to throw up.

I guess what I want to say is, sometimes hardships just fucking suck. A tragedy is just that - a tragedy - and what doesn't kill you can, in fact, leave you frail and broken. And it's okay to mourn for your old self, because I certainly do. I mourn for her every single day. And I mourn for my present self, too, for all that she has had to endure.