#thy-kuvira

This fic is part of my Mass Effect Holiday Cheer gift to @thy-kuvira. When I looked at your list of favorite characters, Miranda and Tali jumped out at me and I thought, "Miranda and Tali are troubleshooting space divas!" Then, from there, the story totally ran away from me and became its own thing. The Shepard mentioned in the story (and who msakes a brief appearance) is meant to be your Akima Shepard - apologies for any deviations from her canon. I hope you had a wonderful holiday and that you enjoy the fic!

There is a Part Two that should be coming from Holiday Harbinger, assuming we aren't all reduced to organic paste first.

Rated for general audiences, 7600 words.

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I hate Illium, Tali’Zorah vas Normandy thought as she scanned passing pedestrians. After months back with the Flotilla, the relative emptiness of the open-air plaza was disconcerting. Conversations buzzed around her in the small cafés. Most of those she overheard involved business deals, some of which would probably have devastating effects on people beneath the notice of the ones around her. She and her companion were the only quarians in sight. Since arriving on Illium, they’d only seen a few of their people at a distance. She hoped they weren’t trapped in indentured servitude contracts or worse.

Tali noticed a nervous-looking asari wearing a fairly plain bodysuit and a visor who appeared to be headed for the café door. Tali gestured at her. “Do you think she’s our contact? Don’t tell me that visor is her idea of a disguise.”

“It does hide one or two of her facial markings, ma’am,” Kal’Reegar said in a deadpan voice. In her time working with him, Tali had concluded that he preferred his humor so dry that he could plausibly deny its existence.

The visor-wearing asari scurried over to their table and looked between the two quarians uncertainly. “One of you must be Tali’Zorah,” she said.

Tali gave her a nod. “I’m Tali. Do you have the logs I asked for?”

“I do,” the asari answered, holding out an OSD. “But…” She paused, shifting from foot to foot.

“But what?” Tali pressed.

“There was a fault in the power conduit leading to the camera. So there’s a gap in the recording until power was rerouted.”

Tali sighed. “Let me guess. The Marra took off during the gap in the recording.”

“I’m afraid so.” The asari frowned, still holding out the OSD. “I can give you a discount in view of the circumstances, but you still owe me the copying and conveyance payment.”

Tali took merciless advantage of the asari’s eagerness to leave to shave off half of the demanded price. Transferring the payment to her omni-tool still hurt. As soon as the transaction was complete, the asari said a perfunctory goodbye and headed for the door.

“How is the bribe fund holding up, ma’am?” Kal asked.

“You mean the fee for expedited access to information fund?” Tali asked. Every official they’d talked to seemed to have a more extravagant justification for the money they needed to hand over. Bribery might be commonplace here, but keelah, everyone would rather die than let the word “bribe” pass their lips. She sighed again as her suit helpfully displayed the dwindling balance on the credit chip. “More than half gone. I’d feel better if I thought it was getting us anywhere.”

8D, well you definitely look glad to receive it!

Very much so! I'll be less glad if I end up not being able to use it due to eye strain, though.

*Collapses into a useless heap* that is a hot shep

*hands you an M-90 Cain*

what’s a self insert?

SADLY no