#thundershield x you

   You sat back clutching the raggedy doll with your eyes focused on the crib in front of you. Since the incident, you had barely set foot in the room, but with the second anniversary, your heart had pulled you back into the unused room still waiting for you to bring your daughter home. Uncle Tony and Aunt Pepper had created the room for you so you’d be safe inside the command. It didn’t keep your daughter safe. You’d spent nearly thirty hours in labor to finally hold her when the screams started. You had clutched her to your chest terrified already since Tony had gone missing, but when her weight seemed to vanish and only ash was left nothing was the same.

   “Y/N,” you looked up from your daze meeting Steve’s somber looking expression. He was freshly shaven and you could tell the small smile was forced.

  “Hello, Steve. So you never got to see it but what do you think?” you looked around the room noticing the way his eyes kept focused on the unused crib.

  “It’s beautiful. She would have loved it,” he stepped further into the room letting his hands rest on the edge of the crib. “The butterflies, are they for your mom?”

  You stood replacing the doll in the chair crossing to Steve. You were hesitant but slowly wound your arms around his waist from behind resting your cheek against his upper back, “You remembered.”

   One of Steve’s hands moved up covering yours, “I could never forget. I should have been there with you. Thor and I both should have been there.”

   “Don’t Steve. Please, just not today. This is on no one else but Thanos. He ruined everything,” you struggle to keep your composure if only for Steve. “I have to go to work but when I get off I’d love to have dinner. We’ve all been hit or miss so much lately and today I just really need you and Thor.”

   “We’ll pick you up. Thor just got back from another mission and we’ll plan something.”

   You slip from his grip allowing him to turn and wrap his arms around you, “Has Thor been here before?”

    “Once after we came back to the compound,” you close your eyes remember finding your godly boyfriend on his knees clutching the very doll you had been holding. “I think he was singing. It was an Asgardian lullaby that he had wanted to sing to her. It was the only time he’s been here.”

    “I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to get here. I can’t imagine how you must feel.”

    “It’s hard but I like to think wherever they are that her uncles Bucky and Sam are spoiling her rotten.”

     Steve finally gave into his pain and let his head rest on your shoulder sobbing. You joined him allowing the pain to take you as your love held you. It had been hard to hold your child knowing neither he nor Thor had ever seen her. Nor knew which one was her biological father not that it would have mattered. You were a family and Thanos had destroyed everything.

    “Do you want a ride to work?”

    “No, I’ll be fine. I’m going to go get ready,” you kiss Steve’s cheek. “Go check on our God and I’ll see you both after work.”

    “Okay. You mind if I stay here a little while,” Steve looks around the room desperately and you only nod swallowing back another wave of sadness.

    The bakery had been mostly quiet since you took over the counter. You were thankful your employees were so helpful and that they happily did the openings for you. Since the incident, it was hard for you to work mornings. So many sad people hurting and wanting to talk about their pain and you couldn’t. Your employees already planned the solution before you even could put it together. The evenings you’d close and prep the recipes for in the morning and they’d manage the shop during breakfast.

   The bell rang above the door to the shop even though you’d turned the closed sign on, “I’m sorry we’re closed.”

   You froze seeing a brutish man leaning on the counter twirling a knife in his hands, “Well you are as lovely as pictures aren’t you?”

   “Who are you?”

   The man stood tossing a handful of pictures on the counter. Some innocent ones from the early days when Steve would sit at your café tables drawing people passing on the street and Thor would help you in the kitchen kneading dough, but then it moved on to more intimate ones. The late nights as you watched Thor and Steve paw at one another for your pleasure and then spread you out between them.

   “Like I said as lovely as your pictures,” he grins and his breath stinks with tobacco and you step back as he moves around the counter.

   “Why do you have these?”

   “I was paparazzi before losing everything. No one cares about celebrities anymore but how much would people love to see these pictures. How long do you think before they tear your shop apart? Before the world comes for you,” he moves the knife between both hands and fear curls in your belly.

   “You’re blaming them for something they tried everything to stop. We all lost people that day. All of us,” you try to be strong and not give in to fear, but you have nothing to protect yourself with.

   “Bullshit! Earth’s mightiest heroes and they couldn’t do the one thing they were supposed to. They shouldn’t have died you bitch,” he practically leaps at you but you were ready falling back rolling to the side.

    “Steve! Thor!” you scream although you know it’s still early for them to arrive.

    “No one can save you. Just like they couldn’t save my family,” he snarls and the blade slashes down planting in your arm.

    You scream pulling away blood pouring from the wound. He moves quicker and suddenly hot searing pain spreads in your rib and pulling away the sensation returning again in quick succession. You gasp when the blade pulls away and he leans over you spitting into your face. He draws back once more and your raise your hands in surrender, “Please I can’t leave them. Please, I can’t.”

   “Too fucking bad,” he spits bringing the knife down into your chest just above your heart. He steps back leaving the knife embedded and tears well before he looks down at you. It’s like two different people as the anger flees from his body and his shoulders slump, “Oh god, what did I do?”

   “Help me,” you sob but the man bolts leaving the tinkering of the bell above the door in his wake.

   You feel cold and reach for anything to covering the stab marks in your side. Your side is practically in shreds but you have to hold on. If only to say goodbye to your boys then that will be enough. You close your eyes remembering the happiness when you told them you were expecting, watching them taste your new coffee at your shop, and all the times you watched them at Tony’s parties or just relaxing in your apartment. All the times you were a family before the world burned around you.

   It’s quiet and your freezing, but you refuse to allow the pain to let you close your eyes. You close your eyes pleading for Steve and Thor when the bell rings and you hear Thor, “I worry about her, Steve. Our child was taken from her and we’re no closer to finding Thanos.”

   “Thor, we just have to be there. We’ve all been so lost we’ve forgotten that we’re in this together. We’ll show her tonight.”

   “She’ll love the surp...,” Thor begins but quiets inhaling deeply. “Steve there’s blood.”

   You whimper, “Steve. Thor.”

   “Y/N!” Steve practically leaps over the counter. Thor right behind him as Steve pulls his jacket pressing it tightly to your bloodied side. Thor works the knife free from your upper chest using his jacket to cover that wound, “Baby, what happened?”

   “Man,” you sobbed. “He came…came and was…was so…mad.”

  “Relax, sweet girl,” Thor stroked your cheek. “We will find him and you will be alright.”

   “I don’t think…think I will. I’ll be with…I’ll be with Rose,” you sobbed remembering your daughter’s soft features the few moments you had her.

   “I called Tony and emergency services, Y/N. Hang on please,” Steve manages. He grips one hand in his while Thor takes the other, “We have a great date night planned. I made your favorite and Thor brought some of that Asgardian drink you love.”

   You giggle, “It takes like rainbows. We made love the first time drunk on it. Do you remember?”

   “We remember my fair Princess. We remember well and we will do it again but you must hold on,” Thor implores kissing your forehead.

    You feel the struggle to breathe and know you don’t have long, “Take care of each other and when you find Thanos. Make sure he never forgets who he messed with. You make sure he knows.”

    “We will Princess,” Thor’s voice is soft almost broken. “Please don’t go.”

    “We need you, Y/N. We love you,” Steve pleads and it’s the same pain when he talks of Bucky or when he thought Thor had died.

    You squeeze their hands closing your eyes. You hear them call your name but it’s in a fog and then nothing. Your body goes limp as Tony crashes through the window paramedics behind him but it’s too late. Thor lays your body on the gurney as he and Steve crash into one another uncaring if the world saw them finally break. Tony is quiet as he presses his forehead to yours hoping this is just another nightmare because he can’t lose you too. The man will turn himself in two days’ time but nothing will be the same.

   Steve and Thor now both sit in the unused nursery when the sadness becomes too much to handle. They share pictures of happier times and sometimes Tony, Pepper, and all those who remain to join in. They sit in the little room that will never be used and when they find Thanos he will suffer for it the most.

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