#thoughtspirals

Thought Spirals series #1

WHAT.

WHO.

HOW DARE YOU.

BEGONE! Never darken my doorstep again!

(You can literally be any class you'd like to be, at any time, for any reason. If you ever feel pressured to change this to suit the interests of anyone but yourself, that person is a jerk and you shouldn't listen.)

thoughtspirals asked you: 

How do I run for shy players? I am used to loud instigator players, so a lot of the way I GM is to create a situation or problem and let my players loose to deal with it and then just react to them. But this leaves some of my shyer or less proactive players out. Is there a way to include them without shutting other players down and making the game unfun for them? Or for me. Playing pass the talking stick isn't fun.

This is interesting!

I've found that shy people usually gravitate towards games to overcome their shyness. It's much easier to talk when you don't have to be yourself.

Between you and me, I was unnecessarily shy before I started running tabletop games. I wouldn't talk to anyone ever.

I know, right?

My first and best answer is talk to your shy players. Don't ask "Hey, why don't you talk ever?" because that might make them feel more ashamed/introspective and cause a bigger withdraw. Ask leading questions to coax what they're trying to get out of the game.

"Tell me about your character a little bit." "What did you enjoy the most about last session? Least?" "What are you planning for the next level/experience gain?"

Get to know their character. You can then use that information to drop them specific seeds or story hooks that may get them more involved, or at least more comfortable within the game.

Gregarious players will always take over, as is their nature. Think of it as a Philosophy 101 class. There will always be the guy who needs you to know exactly what he thinks about Nietzche, and spend the entire time frame delivering that message, informed or not.

(Exclusively not in my experience.)

It's your job as the professor to hear that person out, but also try and lead the conversation back to the rest of the class. Then again, it really isn't fun to pass the talking stick, like you said.

Sometimes there's a place for the gregarious players to just take over, and by all means let them. However, if you have a small side-conversation with your shy players and learn about them, their aspirations, their characters etc. you'll garner a greater idea of when they may have something to say.

At that point, you can say "Hey X, what do you think about this?"

A shy player will usually not say anything, or brush off the question. You can then follow up with:

"It might be a good way to get (that thing you wanted)." "It sounds a lot like (That thing we talked about), what do you think the next step should be?" "Oh! Don't you have something on your sheet that (interacts with the situation in a positive manner)?"

Careful! The last thing you want to do is embarrass the shy player about what they spoke to you about. That will cause a rupture in their trust in you, and simply ruin their experience. Always leave the questions open, and always let them fill in the appropriate details in their voice.

That will get them to open up, feel more comfortable, and hopefully regularly participate more often.

I've made this a non-reply post so that others can add their opinions on overcoming shyness or reaching out to a shy player. Does anyone else have advice?

I’m a big fan of 4th edition!

I played 3.5 for almost a decade, and love that system to absolute death. I know all the rules like the back of my hand, and I own every book. (Except Dragon Magic. And the Fiend Folio, actually.) 

With that being said, when I have the opportunity to introduce players to the game, I choose 4th edition over 3.5.

It’s streamlined. While that may be a curse word for most DMs, I know incoming players appreciate having their abilities on “power cards”, and not having to deal with charts, and using rather basic turns, and having things like Healing Surges.

As a GM, 4th Edition is just another edition to me. There are things I like about the rule system, and things I feel make the game just drag on, but that could be said about any game and any system.