#thoughts while shopping

My brain: Naval Oranges.

-quail eggs

-what does one even do with bee pollen?

-wasabi green peas...why

-why are there 20 different types of granola???

-2 avocados for $3? Pshhh who needs a house

-golden flaxseed meal...is that bird food?

-"2 milk chocolate peanut butter cups"...those are Reese's. Very expensive Reese's.

-"Unreal"—the nut butter equivalent of "I can't believe it's not butter!"

-spinach tortillas, because that makes sense

-"a-big-a-spicy meatballs"...that feels racist, is that racist?

-bacon wrapped jalapeño poppers-heart attack here I come

-you already said organic pumpkin pie mix, having each of the ingredients begin with the word "organic" is a bit overkill don't you think?

-"flackers"--look, I get it's a combination of "flax" and "crackers" but it sounds like something that would make my southern grandmother gasp

-why are donuts in the breakfast section? Don't encourage me

-POTATO PUFFS (aka adorable/ way better name for tater tots)

-"peaches and green" "pineapolis" "mintergreen"--killing it with the puns

-"crystal: mineral deodorant stone"... wait...dEODERANT STONE????? WHAT

-"50 and wiser men" lol

-these pull down medicine finders are actually so smart and unreasonably entertaining

-"rescue sleep (from the brand Bach)" I now need a fic now about Johann Sebastian Bach on a mission to rescue the mystical sleep from the clutches of captivity

-"truffle mousse" wow that is a hella fancy name for something made mostly from the liver of various animals

-"bath tissue" because toilet paper is for shmucks

-7 magazines about health, spirituality, and yoga...and then The Rolling Stones

-why is the Buddhist review magazine called "tricycle"?