Love Begins
trying on a metaphor
Mike Driver
if i look back, i am lost
Discoholic đŞŠ
Andulka
hello vonnie
çĽćĽ / Permanent Vacation
shark vs the universe
taylor price
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
JVL
todays bird
Janaina Medeiros
h
Monterey Bay Aquarium
JBB: An Artblog!
sheepfilms
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
seen from France
seen from Japan
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from New Zealand
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Oman
seen from Oman
seen from Oman
seen from Poland
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@legendary-quotes
One time in biology we were talking about how we got scars and this girl that sat near me pulled up her leg revealing this huge scar and casually explained that she got it from that time her twin sister pushed her off the roof
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
âYou know I have an iron deficiency because every time I stand up I take an acid trip to the fifth dimension.â
âIâll tell the IRS that I didnât do my taxes because my therapist said it wasnât a positive direction for meâ
â My band director
Do you ever wake up and are like âIâm feeling good todayâ and then your entire morning is all fine and you think everything will be alright, and then you get to first hour and your mind is like âpsych! Looks like today you get to be a disasterâ?
Me, after having a mental breakdown in Spanish class
âYouâre old enough to make your own decisions. We just might not approve of them because theyâre stupid.â
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
âThe fifth derivative of velocity is yeetâ
âmy brotherâs girlfriend
âDo you remember that one year when [my brother] gave me a pet rock for my birthday? Except it wasnât decorated or anything, it was just...a rockâ
My mom and I were taking a walk and passed these four kids
The first two were on bikes, next there was a slightly younger boy on a scooter, and finally there was this tiny child full on sprinting behind them and if thatâs not perfect representation of childhood hierarchies I donât know what is
Friend 1: whoâs the most salty in our carpool?
Me: whoâs the most salty or whoâs the most *justifiably* salty?
Friend 1: does it make a difference?
Me: yes.
Friend 1: fine, then whoâs the most salty-
Me: you.
Friend 1: whoâs the most justifiably salt-
Me: me.
Friend 1: What? Why?
Friend 2: no, sheâs right.
Quotes from assembling a stand up desk with my mother
⢠My mom: This is a good idea, right?
Me: I will support 20% of your actions. Do you want this to be one of them?
⢠Me (mumbling): I know what it is, you didnât have to be condescending about it
My mom: I wasnât being condescending
Me: oh sorry didnât realize there was a difference between being condescending and being a smart ass
My mom: for the record I wasnât being a smart ass either
Me: oh so you were just being an ass?
My mom: at least we know where you get it from
⢠My mom: oh so we were supposed to run the cable through here
Me: ah yes that would have made a lot more sense
My mom: I think itâs fine, right?
Me: I mean it seems fine to me⌠but youâll always know
My mom (a perfectionist with OCD): ...
Me (whispers): youâll know
My mom: youâre so mean to me
⢠My mom: ah I get it! So you do this
Me: well, yes, that would seem to be the only logical possibility
⢠Me : I did it! I gobbly gooked! I am the best dang gobbly gooker to ever gobbly gook!
⢠My mom: wait why are there ten? We only need eight!
Me: well maybe youâre justâ
My mom: bad at counting?
Me: I was going to say prone to losing things so they provide extras in case, but sure if you want to burn yourself thatâs cool too
⢠Me : we did it! The IKEA gods are smiling down at us
My mom: this is from amazon
Me: hey, the IKEA gods donât discriminate
⢠My mom: okay now we flip it! Just be careful not to crush the super important control panel thatâs on your side
Me: *looks down at control panel*
Me: *looks up*
Me: *sheepishly moves to switch sides*
My mom: *realizes whatâs happening*
My mom: ah shit
⢠My mom: see, as an engineer you learn that in general you just need to stick the pokey things in the spots that look like they fit the pokey things
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
âI will support 20% of your actions. Do you want this to be one of them?â
âMe
Friend 1: *talks*
Friend 2: youâre just setting yourself up for us to make fun of you
Friend: so my grandmaâ
Me: is this the grandma that had five different marriages to three different people or the one whoâs in a cult?
Friend: no, those are my aunts. This is the one who married her gynecologist.
âIf I die, itâs not my fault.â
âMe, in a room by myself doing something stupid completely by my own choice
Friend 1: why are you always interested in guys that might murder you?
Friend 2: I dunno, keeps things interesting
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
me: he tried to stab me!
my brother: no. If I was trying to stab you, then you would be stabbed.
Shit Iâve heard high schoolers say 2/?
â˘Â âindependent living sounds like a useful class. I don't know how to live independently. I don't even know how to live dependently.â
â˘Â âif it paid well, I would catch cats in bagsâ
âIÂ donât think they got paidâ
âOkay fine, fun. I would do it for fun.â
â˘Â âyour legacy will be calling someone a bitch in Mario kartâ
â˘Â âI'm definitely the most saneâ
âWhat are you talking about?? Ten minutes ago you stuck MY KEYS in your BRAâ
â˘Â â... and I did really feel like life had no pointâ
âHa. Got âem.â
â˘Â âyouâre thrivingâ
âZia, stop exposing meâ
âWe can literally all see you.â
â˘Â âI swear Iâm psychic.â
âItâs pronounced psycho.â
â˘Â âugh don't make me do the thing I volunteered to do in my free time out of my own volitionâ
