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sometimes i just gotta think about akihiko waking up and seeing haruki in the kitchen first thing in the morning while he was staying at haruki's apartment cz looking at haruki's apartment layout, the couch akihiko sleeps at is directly facing the kitchen and how much akihiko must have stared at haruki cooking, listening to music with his headphones, and how the first thing he sees as he open his eyes is haruki
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a friend of mine was talking about how she was surprised that jean doesn't seem to have any specific issue with cat/laila/jeremy touching him and it got me thinking that he doesn't really react in any way, negatively or positively. the narration doesn't comment on it besides stating that it is happening. jean doesn't think on it basically at all which is FASCINATING because given all we know about his background it seems pretty safe to assume no one will have ever wrapped their arm around his waist to comfort him, but he doesn't react to cat doing so (which is even more interesting because it happens right after he sees the pat/cody/ananya dynamic and gets worried about cody's space being invaded).
this feels like such an intentional choice, because all that negative space, the not-thinking about it, actually says so much. like he can't think about it - negatively or positively. thinking about it would probably mean a lot of the raven-conditioning popping its head back up, about how it's all sorts of detrimental to his exy game. but it would also mean realising he's never had this, never been allowed the kindness of touch, the comfort of it (except maybe with elodie, her little hand in his). and would probably mean feeling like he doesn't deserve it. thinking about it means maybe realising he wants it - that he shouldn't, but he craves it anyway
question... do you love me? do you want to be with me? do you know what i'm capable of? do you see through me? do you know what you did? do you feel remorse? are you happy? am i doing this right? did i get it all wrong? what did i do i deserve this?
The way Hugo discusses religion is so interesting to me. Like, M Myriel is saintly, but he’s not just a kind man who gives a great deal of money to the poor. He actively speaks out about a more radical kindness and charity, emblematic in when he talks about these towns where people always help one another free of charge or grudge.
And part of this is a critique of the Church, the trappings of wealth and power - the bishop’s palace which houses 60 vs the hospital which Myriel insists on switching with. There’s this edge with which Hugo discusses religion, which makes it impossible to feel like he’s simply advocating for the version of Catholicism that was most known in France at the time (and which he was raised in before slowly turning away from it). I haven’t read the rest of the book yet (past 1.1.9) so fair warning, but I think it’s interesting that though God is heavy in the entire brick, most of the people invoking the image of God are the people you’d least expect to. The poor, the criminal, the downtrodden. These are where God is needed most, where charity and kindness are needed most.
It ties into the argument Myriel gets into with the nobleman in Chapter 8 of Book 1. The rich can happily say God is stupid and not worth thinking about. Because they are not in a position that might need help from some omnipotent being when the forces around them are intent on keeping them impoverished and miserable. God is not for the rich, God is not the trappings of a bishop. God is a radical kindness and love for humanity that so often does not exist in the world around us.
To bring the musical into this cause I have to “To love another person is to see the face of God”
Give me more Wars who was little more than a child when the warPLS I BEG OF YOU
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hA oK THIS IS OK
GOTTA SLEEP NOW BUT HGHRGGRHRGG,, NGBGNGNFBS
