I don't know how to explain it...but he feels like... mn. No, that's too self-centered. It's just. He's just got this deep, aching sadness to him. Or... maybe sad is the wrong word for it. Emptiness? He's not sad, he's just..... void in this way that's like he never knew anything kind. Nothing to fill the space besides purpose, probably. I mean.... he never even had a name, really. He's been imprisoned for so long. And he's never even had a proper meal. He's powerful-- strong, thoughtful about a lot of things. But there's so much to living beyond just surviving and fighting. And that's all he's probably done all his life.
It aches, but I wonder if he even realizes. Sometimes you get so used to it you forget it's there. I hope I can help, even just a little.
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These insects that inhabit Crowley worry me. I don't think they are actively trying to ruin her life or anything, but her life has been... Well, "active"? I do not know what to think of them still, but I worry they could take her away from everyone at any given moment and turn her into some kind of mindless drone.
If such were to happen, I do not know what I would do. She is... very hardy... but I would not want to let her live like that. I don't think she'd want to be a hollow shell. Would she want to die? If she wanted to, I'd find a way to do it if this unfortunate event were to occur.
Hm, I wonder if there is some way of ripping their connection to her completely...
Send š for a thought my muse has had about yours
Robin
I do wonder if Miss Noelle was able to procure this weeks book in braille...I do not mind listening to her read, she's quite a pleasant voice, but I also do like to be able to enjoy such readings in my spare time...
Would it be rude to ask to go on one of her travels with her? Or would I die..?
A/Bel
She's grown into a relatively consistent meal, I suppose I should mark her soon, lest she slip away too far and cause issues, that would be a horrible thing to happen... No no, I won't allow that game to be played. The next visit I'll do it.
"I want to protect you. The volume of what you've gone through-- terrifies me. You didn't deserve any of it, and if there's anything I can do to keep you safe from having to go through more of that shit, I'm going to do it. I just-- hope that I'm not being intrusive. I know I'm not the one you were hoping for or looking for, and I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to be a replacement."
Send your museās thoughts about mine on anon
āOh.....ā
āYouāre not her.... youāre you. You canāt replace her. And I can appreciate you for the ways you remind me of her. But also, the ways that make you you. You know? But you donāt have to take care of me. Iām more worried about you. Maybe I can help things go.... better. For you. Iād like that.ā
send me a š¤ to hear what thoughts are going through my museās head right NOW.
((Cut for Peace TalksĀ spoilers.))
I thought I knew you. You were my mentor. My friend. One of my only two surviving family members. And you stood up for me when no one else would, at great personal risk to yourself. You saved me. You raisedĀ me.
Weāve had our differences. I was a difficult kid, I know. I had issues. My issues had issues. I was angry, sullen, untrusting, and tested every single limit you gave me to its breaking point. And you were hard. You didnāt take guff from me. You put me in my place more times than I could count, and you demanded respect. But you were also fair, and kind, and you gave me a home. A realĀ home that wasnāt a front for an insidious brainwashing operation headed by a megalomaniac of a warlock.
You were the one who taught me that magic was a force that came from life, from the heart. That we have a responsibility, a duty, to use it responsibly, to protect and do good. That the taking of a life with magic was nothing short of an abomination, using the fundamental forces of the universe that gave life and sustain life to snuff it out. You said it was a perversion. You looked me in the eye, and you said that.
When I found out that you were the Blackstaff several years ago, that you had been given a free license by the White Council to kill, to break all of the Laws, it felt like being punched in the gut. I donāt think Iāve ever quite gotten over that entirely, but I still thought, deep down, that you were still, at heart, the same Ebenezar McCoy that raised me and taught me. You were still my grandfather.Ā
And yeah, it still hurt that youād kept that fact from me for so long, the fact that we were blood, but I wasnāt going to dwell on it.Ā I have a kid. I know what itās like to want to do anything to protect your children. I hadĀ done the unthinkable to protect Maggie.
And then you let me down. Again.
The sheer hatred in your eyes when you found out about Thomas... who he was to me, to you... the blind rage...Ā
You nearlyĀ killedĀ me. Stars and stones-- you didĀ kill me. I was dead on the dock, a great big hole blasted through me by your miniature comet.
The man I saw in your eyes, twisted with hate and fury and bloodlust, wasnāt the man I knew.Ā
I donāt think we can mend this. Heās my brother. I will die to protect him, if thatās what it takes, even if itās you who finishes the job for real next time.
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For every š I receive, I will write one thought my Muse has had about yours.
āThis new leader has already proven himself to be superior to his predecessors. Though his strength may not be his own, his will and guile alone would have earned this human my attention. But now, now he has my interest too.ā
āI wonder what he will accomplish before his brief life ends...ā
āWhy did Kisuke choose to hide the hogyoku inside of me? Was he really trying to make me a mere human? Why? Why was I chosen? How did he even get the hogyoku inside of me without me knowing?ā She sighed softly, closing her eyes briefly. āWas I just another pawn in his mind too?ā
