I feel nothing but not in the way a sociopath would i just don’t feel like anything is worth it i feel distantced from everything like I’m watching myself from another persons eyes the good and the bad i feel no sense of purpose, no motivation, I don’t feel anything when given a complement or if im insulted i don’t feel a need to fight back or say thankyou I don’t feel anything when I accomplish something or when i help someone i used to love helping people and teaching them fixing mistakes fixing anything really the thought that i could help someone or repair something made me feel important & happy i used to strive to be the best i was competitive on top of my game the best person in the room but all of thats gone all my ambition all my drive. I just go through motions now like one of them walking wind up toys you set on a table watch it walk off the edge I’m just pushed in different directions by different people and i say what they want me to say and do whatever they need help with i walk i talk but I don’t care about what i do or who I’m with or where I’m going i just walk waiting to be pushed in a different direction or find something or someone to blend into I don’t have a care or a thought that i feel is my own just something I picked up from somewhere and I can’t wait till i get placed at the end of the table because I can’t bring myself walk up to it and do what needs to be done.
