#thorughts

While away from home, I had this mindset piercing me everyday, "My family needs me. They NEED me at home. I NEED to be home to help them." That mentality grew so strong, I believed it. I started building this image of chaos at home, an image so vivid, that I cried myself to sleep.

It wasn't all a lie, there is trouble at home, but my supposed answer to help get out of it is that I be there physically, as they "needed" me to be.

I finally come home, and in many ways, they are better off than me. Things are the best they have been in basically, all my life. 

Soon, I came to realize, I was the one that NEEDED them all along.

I was empty, I had built my own little chaos, and I was, quite frankly, giving up on all I could do.

Now, with the peace of mind I have regained coming back home, I am aware that I NEED my family, that's all there was to it. I need them in many ways, just to check up on me, communication, checking up on me, as they need me to do that to. NOT physically, just emotionally.

We NEED family. But we don't NEED family.

We need the support before we get the mindset of chaos.

All is well. I am well. My family is well.

We need each other. To respect our different needs.

i'm so nervous to apoligize tomorrow but i'm happy because i actually think she'll let me in again

he is so sweet and nice maybe i should go out with him maybe idk

my mom is so disgusting like ew peasant don't touch me