#thomasshelbyxreader

!Re-write!

Summary: Birmingham has received a new club, one that is showcasing a exotic type of dance that is drawing in crowds, but it is one particular dancer that catches Thomas Shelby's eye.

One that goes by the stage name: Little Darling.

Warnings: 18+ only, eventual pinv! sex, eventual heavy smut, stripper!reader, heavy petting, dry humping, language, drinking, cannon Peaky Blinder violence, pole dancing, lap dances

!AGELESS/MINOR BLOGS WILL NOT BE ADDED TO TAGLIST!

Dividers @firefly-graphics Banners @vase-of-lilies @roseschoices

Series Masterlist

Thomas Shelby felt confident in his growing territory and power in Birmingham. Most, if not all of Small Heath was under his control and his expansion into London was going well albeit Sabini and Campbell were a large pain in the ass.

But he knew soon enough he would be rid of them.

He had been sitting in his office, smoking his millionth cigarette and hearing Lizzie speaking on the phone when John and Arthur had come in, dirty grins on their faces as they closed his door.

"There's a new club that's popped up", John had said, toothpick between his teeth.

"New clubs pop up all the time, John", Tommy said.

"Not like this one. These girls take their clothes off", Arthur chimed in. "And they dance with a pole."

"A bloody pole?" Tommy had scoffed at the mention. "How the bloody hell are these women dancing with a pole?"

"Have to go check it out to see", Arthur had replied with a cheeky grin. "From what we've heard, this club had been making money. No ties to any gangs either."

Pairing = Thomas Shelby x Reader

Summary = Ana has a craving but doesn’t want to ruin their evening and keeps quiet about it. But Tommy always finds out. 

Warnings = Language, Grammar, Fluffs, Alcohol, Smoking.

Word Count = 2424

Note = This chapter is based on an anonymous suggestion about Ana craving fish and chips and Tommy going to get it despite being annoyed. So whoever you are...I hope  you enjoy it. Happy Friday. 

It had been a few days since that evening in the betting shop. Both John and Arthur couldn't believe that my parents agreed to 'sell' me to settle a debt. That was the thing about the Shelby family, they were quite progressive when it came to women and the idea of selling someone off against their will disgusted them.

As the news fell,  I could see the turmoil behind Arthur's eyes – instantly blaming himself once again.

I hadn't heard from either brother since Tommy had sent them off on a stakeout to make sure that the voice I heard matched up to the face they were able to see. The only issue was that had to enter enemy territory, therefore they would have to move without getting caught otherwise – war.

tommy shelby x reader

summary: tommy and the reader grew up together and were always really close. the reader always had feelings for tommy, but he only learns to return them when grace insults the reader and leaves the town.

warnings: angst, cursing,

important: request are open, you can send me anything you want <3 and no hate to grace, her character would never be this mean!!

authors note: part 2 💌 part 3

text me or comment if you want to be added to my taglist for part 2 <3

there you were. you stood in front of the big building your childhood best friend would celebrate his wedding in. sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? sadly you couldn’t be too happy for him, because you were not the person he would marry. the real ceremony was already over and at the thought of tommy standing there in his expensive suit, watching grace walking down the aisle with the biggest of smiles, could make you throw up.

you felt like the most selfish person on earth for not being happy for him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to put on a fake smile once again and acting like you wouldn’t want to slap grace across her face. you knew the two faces of grace. you had always suspected her, since she suddenly showed up at the garrison acting like the new barmaid. and you still couldn’t understand how tommy could trust her again after she betrayed him by spying on him.

luckily you were not the only person who mistrusted grace. polly couldn’t understand either why tommy once again collected all his trust and gave it to her, but she still forced herself to be nice to her on their wedding day, for tommy’s sake. you and polly always got a long really well. since you were close with all the shelbys from a very young age you were practically in the family. tommy and you always were the closest, you would play and laugh together, when you were kids, but you could also cry on his shoulder when some boy broke your heart, wich would be beaten up by tommy within minutes after he would see you wasting tears on that “bastard”

when the two of you were starting to grow up, your feelings for him would grow stronger. it was obvious to anyone but him and when he met grace, your whole world shuttered down on you. you were there for him when she left, when she betrayed him. comforted him, distracted him by taking him on horse rides like you would do as kids, you even made sure he ate enough, wich he never really did either way, but it got worse when grace left.

and now you stood just in front of the house, tommy would probably dance with grace right now, in. you felt like she was always jealous of your relationship with tommy, because whenever tommy was not around, she would make rude comments on how you look, “accidentally” knocking of your hot cup of tea over your dress and laughing it off with her clumsiness, when tommy would enter the room, but you never said anything to tommy, thinking it was just her jealousy.

as you heard the loud music leaving the house in loud sounds, you considered just to go home and go to bed, to forget about this awful day, it wasn’t like somebody would miss you here anyway. you were ripped out of your thoughts, as the big wood door opened and a face you were not pleased to see looked out of it. grace stepped outside and closes the door behind her. “why are you out here? you wouldn’t want to miss the brides first dance, would you?” she asked, smiling devilish. you took a deep breath before answering. “it’s over grace. you won, aren’t you happy now? why can’t you finally leave me alone?”

grace looked at her for a few moments. “is that even a question? i did not win until i removed you out of tommy’s life. you think i don’t notice your little crush on my husband, the way you look at him? i will not let you get through with seducing him this easily.” she said through gritted teeth. an angry expression on her face. “seducing him? grace i think you misunderstood, i never trie-“ you were cut of by grace wrapping her hands around your throat and squeezing it tightly. you were in shook. “you little whore listen to me: you stay away from my husband or i will make you leave myself. i do not want to see you around this town ever again, you understand me?” grace threatened in a low voice. her grip was so tight now, you couldn’t breathe and barely see anymore. “grace i ca-“ you tried to say, before he let go of your throat in an abrupt movement. “that was just a taste of what happens to you, if you disobey me” she spat, before turning her heel and disappeared in the big house.

you leaned against the wall of the house and tried to collect your breath. your throat hurt and your mouth was dry. you waited for a few minutes before you left the wedding, to go to your apartment.

on the next day you entered the arrow house, hoping for your life you wouldn’t‘t stumble upon grace. you went to tommy’s office immediately and got through with nobody seeing you. you knocked on the door and entered, after hearing his deep voice say “come in” you closed the door behind yourself and looked at tommy, who was deep into some paperwork. when he looked up he looked a bit surprised. “y/n?” you sat on one of the chairs in front of his desk. “where were you yesterday? i was looking for you.” tommy said as soon as you sat down. “i wasn’t feeling well so i left earlier to go to sleep” you lied, keeping your head down. “oh, why didn’t you-“ he stopped for a second, taking a closer look at her. tommy rose to his feet before asking “y/n, whats that on your neck?” you looked up and were met with his icy eyes. “i-“ you wanted to start but decided to take a deep breath first. “that’s why i’m here” you than said and took your coat of, so tommy could now fully see the dark, purple bruises grace left on your neck.

“what happened, who did that?” he asked, now walking over to you with a worried expression on his face. you once a agin took a deep breath and started questioning your behavior, maybe you should have just left. no, tommy deserves to know the truth, it would be selfish to leave him here with her. this thought gave you braveness, so you answered “grace”

his worried expression changed to a confused and sceptic expression. “what?” he couldn’t believe you. “tommy, i know this is hard to hear, but yesterday, i was outside your house to get some fresh air and then she game outside and threatened me what would happen, if i would talk to you again that i should leave the town. and then she did this” your hand gestured to your throat.

tommy looked at you for a few moments with an expression you couldn’t read, before he let out a chuckle. you looked at him confused. “where did you get this from y/n? do you even hear yourself talking? grace would never hurt anyone” he said now leaning against his desk. “yes tommy, she would. look at my throat” you told him, hoping he would believe you now. “y/n listen, i know my wife very well and i do know that she is not a fan of violence” he answered. you heard an undertone of annoyance in his voice.

“oh god tommy, this is what she does to you! she spied on you and you think she wouldn’t lie to you again? she shot a man in front of you didn’t she? i didn’t ever understand how you trusted her again anyway after what she has done!” you were annoyed and also hurt that tommy didn’t believe your words. you knew each other since they were babies and he trusts a strange woman, who spied on him more than you?

“y/n give me a fucking break! i know you and polly don’t like her but polly could bring herself to be nice to her on her fucking wedding day so why can’t you? how did you even get that bruise? did you have a hot night? is that what you are, a whore? i don’t know what went through your head to tell me this bullshit, but maybe you should think about what your imaginary grace tells you to do and leave!” he raised his voice at you. he never rose his voice at you before, so you were shocked and also a little bit scared. tears were daring spill from your eyes and your whole body was shaking.

“tommy i-“ you started, but he interrupted you soon. “was i not clear enough for you? leave!” he spat. you never saw him this angry at you and it really terrified you. tommy sat back down on his chair and continued his paperwork. you wordlessly got up from your chair and left his office. you made your way out of the house quit, so nobody would notice your presence, before you let the tears spill when you got outside. on your way home you thought about were you could go, but nothing came to your mind. tommy’s angry voice still echoed through your head. when you were at home you grabbed your most important belongings and quickly went to the stables to get your horse, that tommy had given you for your last birthday. you greeted the beautiful, white stallion. after you saddled up you took a look to the streets. thankfully it was already dark outside, so one one would see you leaving.

on the next day tommy went to charlie’s strong yard and was greeted by curly mucking out some hay. “tommy, how are you?” he asked with his usual smile plastered over his face. “i’m good curly” he answered and went to stroke the mane of the grey race horse, that stood next to curly. “i’m really sorry about grace” curly said while moving some hay out of the stable. tommy looked confused “what do you mean?” he asked. curly looked as confused as tommy looked. “didn’t you divorce?” he asked. tommy’s face went flustered. “what? no why would we divorce, we just married” tommy said. “oh it’s just, i saw grace and y/n at your wedding. i don’t know what happened between them, but i saw grace choking her. she nearly passed out. i thought she told you and you would have send grace away. i mean you were always so protective over y/n. but i probably misunderstood.” curly said. tommy froze. “i know, i would have helped her, i’m really sorry, but i’ve been guiding a guest horse to the stables and it was acting crazy. have you seen y/n? i wanted to apologize to her personally” curly continued.

tommy’s heart stopped beating. y/n didn’t lie to him. of course she didn’t why would she? why didn’t he believe her, he hadn’t had any reason to mistrust her, but he had every reason to mistrust grace. how could he be this stupid. a wave of guilt washed over him, leaving goosebumps all over his body, when he saw your teary gaze in front of his inner gaze. he called her a whore for being choked. he felt disgusting.

“tommy? are you okay?” curly waved his hands in front of tommy’s face. he blinked a few times. “yes, i’m okay. i have to go now” he said while walking towards his black stallion. tommy made his horse gallop as fast as it could to get to your apartment. when he got there, he rushed up the stairs and knocked on your door. “y/n? it’s tommy” he said and knocked again. “please open the door” he asked while knocking on the door once again. you wouldn’t open the door. tommy searched in his pockets for the spare key, you gave him when you moved in.

he unlocked the door and got into your apartment. he felt his heart in his chest breaking. the light was off, it looked so empty. the framed pictures you had all over your place were gone. he went into your bedroom to see your open and empty closet. he looked at your bookshelf. your favorite books were gone. “fuck” he said to himself.

OUT of the BLUE

part 2

He gave one last glance and slowly closed the door,

A shiver went through you as you held your arms around yourself.

You sat on the chair behind you, Polly, and gave you a sorrowful look.

"Polly, why am I here? Why?" the tears fell.

"Because, watching and waiting for Thomas to call on you, assuming he's 'happily' married!"

"Isn't he?" you asked. Polly said, "well, he is married, but there isn't anyone around here that would say he is happy."

"But he is still married, happy or not!" you said, defyingly!

"i.m going home. I'll be on the early train back to London!"

And you did! Polly was upset that you were leaving and tried to get you to stay. You refused! You were gone before anyone else knew it and before Tommy could stop you!

Tommy went to Polly's house to find you, "where's Y/N, Polly?" Polly had no choice but to tell him everything. You're love for him and her little scheme of matchmaking and that you left back to London!

He was not pleased! He said nothing and turned towards his Bently. "where are you going?" Polly shouted from the doorstep! Tommy yelled back, "where do you think?"

He left in his car, it took him longer to get to London for him than it did for you! By the time he found out you had left it was already sundown and raining!

Meanwhile, you had your bath and a good cry! you put on your most comfortable nightgown made of white cotton with a warm fluffy robe. It was the same icy blue color as Tommy's eyes! You finally curled up on the sofa with your tea and a book, trying to separate yourself from your reality even if it was just for a few minutes.

Out of the blue, you hear banging on the door, it startled you from your thoughts. You spilled your tea and dropped your book!

You walked to the door and asked, "who is it?"

You would never open the door without asking. "Open the door, Y/N!" You heard that deep voice behind the door and knew who it was. You only opened the door three inches, Tommy said, "Can we talk?"

"You could have called me why are you here?" You asked, looking at the floor.

"you can't hang up on me." He said with a tiny curl of his lips.

"Okay, so talk," you said with trepidation.

"Polly told me everything," he said.

You rolled your eyes and said, "great, so what do you want from me?"

Well, I want you to come back." He gave you a soft look with his head tilted.

(Damn it, Tommy, why did you have to look at me like that?)

"Please open the door, let me in and we can talk."

What's to talk about, Tommy?" you said, as your voice cracked a little. You stepped back away from the door without actually widening it. Tommy stepped in still dripping wet from the rain. You sat back in the original spot you were sitting in earlier. You gestured to Tommy to sit down in the chair. He took off his wet hat and sat it on the floor next to the fireplace along with his coat and sat down. He sat forward and rested his forearms on his thighs, folded his hands, and turned his head to look at you.

You looked at each other in the eyes, you felt the moths in your tummy grow into seagulls, you were afraid to ask..." So, why are you here, Tommy?"

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: Y/N is the definition of ordinary. Studying at a medical school as far as she can get from her rainy hometown of Birmingham, she never expected to be shipped off the Flanders when the war was at it’s peak. Much less to meet a handsome young patient with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes she had seen in her life who as fate would have it would fall into her lap.

Wordcount: 6415 (I’m busy as hell with studying so I decided to publish the chapter I was writing as two shorter parts, this is the first so calm down that the ending’s pretty shit, I am going to resolve it with the next chapter and it’s allllllll gonna be chill). 

Warnings: poorly written ANGST. You’re all gonna hate hate me for this one, looking directly at you @captivatedbycillianmurphy.

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And so the months came and went through the grey streets of Small Heath like the shadow of some endless night, ebbing and flowing with the tides of time, and for the first time in your life the world did not change at all. Only the warmer days warned you that this long winter could not last forever, and all of a sudden it was over and the days were longer, bright with the flowers that came to the bakery door every morning. You gave them with the bread as you made your rounds past houses where every day the memories came creeping back, softer and sweeter and there was no pain here anymore. And in the evenings there was dancing in the upstairs rooms of the pub, you and Ada and a million dresses laid around the chairs and bed and mirror as you spun and dipped into the ecstatic dream of freedom. You were a child again, and all the world was yours once more and he was not a part of it anymore and that was just fine.

It would be a lie to say that you did not think of him, but it was only in the late nights when it was just you and your candle, looking out over the buildings at the trains as they wound away, a path you didn't take and would spend forever wondering what might have happened if you had. And when the spring fell away to summer you saw again the sunsets on the city that pulled you to the rooftop so many times before, wide-eyes wondering at the world you had not seen, ghosts of former lovers hanging onto your sleeve as you spread your arms like wings to fly away and knew you never could. Never would, because for the first time you could see no world but here outside your windows, and it suited you just fine.

And there was you and Ada, and you and Polly, and sometimes you and John, sitting and having tea in the summer sunlight, chasing round the market in your shawls and coats and painting in your mind all the colours of the apples and carrots and plums like they meant everything in the world to you. No blood, not even in those nights when you could hear the guns ringing through the darkened streets and wondered almost where Small Heath ended and your tortured mind began, the memories of a war half-left behind and somehow never left. You were safe and you were happy, and everything was going to be just fine.

Polly was opening up to you more and more as the winter melted away; by summer she was your mother, clasping your hands in hers and telling you to be wise and brave and sure of all you did, and all your stories were hers to read and note and read again whenever she saw your face and it was strangely comforting to see her everyday the same, even when she knew. She knew you, knew all you did and all you had done, and every time she looked at you there was no fear at all, and you wished for nothing more. Ada had become a friend and then a sister, she came to you at night when she could not bear to be alone with all the gunshots pounding out from their street and you both knew you'd never ask, never force her to tell what was best left unspoken, out of sight and out of mind. And there were the days when you returned to the church and there was John with your father in the little kitchen where the sun never seemed to reach all the way through the window, and you could not remember laughing as much as you did in those afternoons alone together when there was no world at all outside of your window and nothing at all between you and him.

And soon July was ending, and you were sitting in the Garrison as usual, only now the sunlight was warm and calming on your face, streaming in in glorious waterfalls of melted gold through the front windows and bathing you in soft yellow glow. The room was silent, as it often was these days as the three girls sat thoughtfully, staring into your teacups and smiling softly, lethargically. These long summer days brought hot nights, the town shimmering in balmy heat and all the world  a little crazier. There were fights in the evenings, hot blood on hot stone. Each night you hurried home a little earlier to find your away from the bubbling anger of the Garrison, where blood boiled by the bar. There was a storm brewing in the distance, dark and ominous as the clouds of cold autumn rain that hovered now in the early mornings, watchful as the eyes of God, and summer had lasted too long.

At the sound of the door flung open, all three heads jerked up, the comfortable silence shattering instantly as the room was filled with heavy footsteps, the screech of the door where the oil had dried up in the heat of days gone by. Into the room there came a crowd of men in sharp grey suits and the familiar flat-cap, brims glittering and you really meant to ask what there was about it that made you so uneasy.

"And make sure it's done by tomorrow, mind. We're not exactly rolling in spare time."

And there he was, the crowd clearing around him and all you saw was him in front of you, beautiful as the moment you had left and he was so beautiful it took your breath away. And you thought you might cry, your eyes fixed on him and your cup of tea dropped back into its saucer on the table, and then his eyes met yours and suddenly he knew.

"Go." he waved a hand and the men went, just like that, and Ada reached out to touch your arm and you held her hand tight, holding her in place because if you were left here, alone once more with him as though no time had passed at all, you weren't entirely sure what you'd do.

"Tommy," it slipped out of your mouth, a whisper so weak he might not have heard it, but he did and his eyes were so cold. His face hard as stone and crueller still than that cold winter spent without him and without even his letters, promised as they were. The way he looked at you, you thought you might never have met him at all, for in those brilliant blue eyes there was an icy hatred you had never seen before, cold as the grave and unfeeling as he stared you down, willing you to speak or willing you to leave, you knew not which. Looking on at him in the hope of a sign, something small to tell you that this was indeed the same man who had kissed you on the train station, promised you a lifetime you knew he could not give, it tore you apart to know that you did not recognise this man at all.

"(Y/N)." he spoke finally, voice flat and disinterested as if you were just another business proposal that he had no care to consider, the least wonderful thing he had seen all day. He remembered you - for a moment you had wondered if any of this had ever been real, if he simply did not know you at all, and in a way this was so much worse. He knew you, and even you could tell from his detached expression that he did not love you. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Yeah, I gathered." through the agonising sadness that was pounding in your head and in your heart and ripping you into pieces there came a rush of bitterness, anger because hadn't he said that he would write to you until he could find you again, and wasn't he here in front of you now, a little taller and a whole lot crueller than the last time you had met? You let your hand slip out of Ada's and she and Polly stood quietly and disappeared into the backrooms. It was only you and him now, along with all the universe in between.

"So where've yer been?"

"In the hospital. Some of us couldn't leave." you muttered, breaking eye contact and taking in the pub, suddenly aware that where you had been waiting for this one moment since the moment he had left, now you would rather be anywhere on earth but here with him. This was anything but the sweet reunion you had dreamed it to be in all those lonely nights in the hospital and the days when you couldn't help but see his face in every beautiful thing around, and he was anything but the sweet man you had fallen so in love with in those days when you could almost forget that love was there at all, so hateful was the world behind you.

"And now you're back. Funny how the world turns out." he sounded so much like his aunt had, that first day when she was so far from you, reading you like you could fall apart before her, your deepest secrets spilling unto her watchful eyes, and you wondered could he see himself written upon your aching soul the way you could feel it each night, eating you alive? And if you never learned from him, waited for him forever and became only the shreds of how his love had left you on that dreadful day on the platform, would he see that too? Or were you now too far away for him to find you, as you feared he was to you.

"I'm not back for you." but yes you were, and both of you knew it. Your footsteps would always lead you back to him, unknowing as you were as you followed blindly into the pits of destiny's shame. You were here for him, and if you stayed you'd do that for him too. "You'd know if you'd written."

"And why would I do that?"

And there it was, the great and terrible blow that sent you reeling, his voice so harsh it cut into you with all the force his love had never borne for you. You laughed bitterly, and when you looked at him again all you saw was the cold and broken body of a man who had once loved and now could love no more. He never wrote, he never loved, was there anything this man could do? A kinder girl than you might have pitied him, but after everything you had done in these last years you were so much more than kind. You were proud, and you were furious.

"Because there was a part of me that was so sure you loved me." your voice broke at that, and you prayed he wouldn't notice. He did, of course he did, he was Thomas Shelby and he noticed everything he could use to his own gain and suddenly you were realising that, but only after you had become yet another ploy he had slipped into his hands so easily. He had smiled at you and you used to feel special, but now you only felt like prey. You had been sure he loved you, just like you were sure that summer would come once the winter melted away, and that the sun would rise each morning and chase away the night, the simple certainties of nature, but now all you knew was that this winter was going to last a very long time, and the sun would be a long time rising. Outside the Garrison window the sun had passed behind a cloud; the room was quiet and grey, the colour gone away.

"Don't be ridiculous." he grinned like his aunt, cold and cruel and utterly malicious, but there was no softness behind his eyes like you had caught in hers, and it made you shiver despite the warmth of the days. This was not the man you knew, but this was the man you had always feared he might become, for this was the man that you had seen a million times before in the faces as they returned from the war, older now and irrevocably changed.

"More ridiculous than running away and never having the fucking nerve to write so much as one letter to explain?!" your voice was higher, louder than you had expected, thick with furious emotion that threatened to overwhelm you as you stood so close to him, throwing your hands up as you shouted. You took a moment to breathe, in then out, then turned to him slowly, words appearing in your head already steady and emotionless, the worst things you could think and you knew you had to say them now or else you'd see them every time you closed your eyes, taunting and true. "You know, I thought you were a fool, but I never took you to be a coward."

He straightened, squaring up and his jaw locking, and in that moment the last shred of the man you had loved finally fell away, and in the man it left behind you wondered how many people he had killed. He had that easy malice that made you think he'd lost count. "Watch it."

"Or what? Far as I've gathered, you don't care about me at all. Don't see why we should change that, now should we?" you were taunting him now, stepping closer to hiss it against the hot skin of his throat and you could still see the faint lines of scars you'd dressed, out of place as though they were not his past at all, stolen words from someone else's love-story and wasted in his tale of woe. Tommy Shelby was a poet, Thomas Shelby a murderer.

"You shouldn't be here." he gritted his teeth, breathing out through his nose and biting back the anger that was burning through his face and fists and every cell in his body. You were so close he could almost taste the soft, sweet perfume you had always used in those empty days in the hospital when you were the only thing keeping him from going insane, his saving grace and now you were before him and against him and you had never hated him so much before.

"Oh really? And where, pray tell, should I be? Sticking it out in an empty hospital after the war has fucking ended in the hopes that you would write so much as once?!" you tried not to cry, tried not to scream as it hit you all over again that you had stayed there, long after you could have left, could have been done with all the blood and all the torture you put up with for him. War was hell and you had walked through it gladly, past turning back, past reason, because once he'd asked you to and now he only left you there to burn. You stepped back, pushing him hard with one hand and he caught you by the wrist, holding you in place, feeling your heart beating strong and fast and knowing you were real.

"It's not fucking safe here." he muttered under his breath and you wrenched your hand away, turning around and grinning like a madman, all your anger, all the rage that had been boiling in you for all these months alone finally rushing up through your head and into your mouth, thick and sour and burning like the hot summer sun inside you.

"I was in a fucking war! Don't you fucking dare tell me what's safe and what isn't!" now you were screaming, shoving him and swearing like the rest of the house couldn't hear you, or simply didn't matter. All that was gone now, only you and him and how much you could hurt him before he would push back. You couldn't help but think of when you'd loved him endlessly, you and him and, far away, the nurses knowing nothing, and now there was only hate.  

"Oh you were in the war, were you?!" and he was angry, angrier than you had seen him, even in those days when vengeful fate was crushing his broken body in the hospital bed a million miles away. He was burning, the fire behind his eyes brighter than you had ever seen it before, and you wondered if he had ever loved so furiously, so strong it brought the gods to tears and how beautiful he might have been if he had had a heart at all. "Funny, as far as I could see you were just some middle-class university girl playing at doctors and pretending she wasn't just kidding herself she was actually important to someone!"

And then the silence, the awful waiting as you looked at him, tried not to cry as the tears welled in your eyes and he had never been so lovely as he was when you could not see him at all. In the blur of all the pain he sent your way, you could almost kid yourself he was the man you'd thought he'd been. But he was ruthless, he was cold, and you saw it in his eyes that all those medals, all the stories, had made a sense you'd never seen before. The war was won by men like him and all the awful things they did.

"Get out." you could not find the voice within you that you had had before, only the hoarse whisper that shook and broke with that sad hate that you thought would last forever.

"It's my fucking pub!" he threw up his hands. You stood still another moment, breathing deep and shaking with the rage that coursed through you, livid as the summer heat and bright as all those nights alone when you wondered if you would ever see him again. You almost wished you hadn't.

"If I ever see you again, I'll fucking kill you, Thomas Shelby." You reached for the frame of the open door, looking out into the street as you heard him laugh, insidious and dreadful as the winter creeping in, behind you in the pub. Your voice was steady, your words heavy with a truth that both of you could see, and there was not a part of you that doubted that you would, you really would. This town had got to you, and you were not like you were before. Things were so very different. You couldn't help but take one last look at him, praying that he could see what he had made of you and knowing he had eyes only for himself.

"If you think I'm coming after you then you're very much mistaken, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)." and there was that emptiness in his eyes that made you think you weren't going to see him again, and you were just fine with that.

"So dark and brooding. You know, I think I might have loved you for that. But now? Right now I just think you're pathetic. Someday you'll come home and there'll be no one there anymore.  And I think you're fucking terrified. Come after me or don't, just know I won't be waiting." the last words dropped to a choked sob, a curse upon him and upon this whole damned town, pull you together as it was always made to do. Your uncle once told you that when you loved someone, really loved them, every road would lead you back to them, and now all you wanted to do was set fire to every last brick until the whole city went up in flames. If your fate was written, so help you you would find the book and not rest until you had pulled each last word from its cruel pages.

As you stormed out of the Garrison, teeth gritted to try and stifle the tears that pricked at your eyes, you slammed into someone. Apologising and trying to make them out through teary eyes, all you could see was a smudge of blonde hair, a slim figure and a pretty green dress. You rolled your eyes and slid past her. You had spent too long in the neighbourhood to ask her what she was doing here. You thought you'd rather not know.

You didn't entirely know where your footsteps were leading you - not to the church, with its false pity and God still falser, the secrets in the crypts that whispered to you your life was empty, loveless. Nor to the bakery, with your aunt's loving arms and the hatred you would leave at the door. You didn't want to leave it; you wanted to feel it coursing in your blood, hot and true like nothing you had felt for months. It was only when your world came whirling in a rush that you knew it turned at all, and it was only when your heart was pulsing to explode that you know it beat at all. All these months, thinking you were barely alive, but now you knew. You were, and you would remain forever, very much alive and very vengeful indeed.

________________________________________________________________________________

Without knowing it entirely, your footsteps lead instead to the Cut, the abandoned warehouses where you had used to hide in years gone by, waiting excitedly for your aunt and uncle as they came home from work in the early evening, baskets of bread and sweets for you as you ran out into their arms. Sitting on the riverbank, looking down into the distorted reflection of your face upon the water, you wondered if you could close your eyes and have it all gone. You had never asked for this, you had never wanted this. Boys, men, the endless heat of this godforsaken city, a grim horizon that you had never seen looming before you, and now here you were at the ends of the world as you knew it and you had nowhere left to go. Leave the town and leave it all unfinished the way you swore you never would again, or stay and fight and know that nothing would ever be quite as good as it was in that other, sweeter, eternity.

The water-line was low, and you slipped off your shoes and stockings, dipping your legs into the river as you shook your hair out of its plait and breathed out. It was calm here, calmer than anything else in this tumultuous city where every silence carried a hundred thousand words you couldn't begin to understand. France was simple, but France was far away, and you knew there was more than just a sea between you now.

You weren't going to cry - not here, not in front of all the world you could not see, waiting in the dockyards because work never stopped in this city of dust and ashes. Instead you threw a stone at the gentle grey water, felt the cool splash against your burning skin, tried to breathe when screaming came so easy, blinked and blinked again as your vision swam in watery uncertainty, felt the emotion draining out of you and fading away into the heat all around. You weren't prepared for this, any of this.

It was childish to expect that nothing would have changed, that you would come back and everything would be the way he had promised it would be from the window of the train as it carried him away. War was nothing more than a bleak and empty promise by men who knew no better way to kid themselves that they would be just fine, and his words could do no better. But what were you meant to do when he was there and he had been so beautiful, and now all you felt was shame. You hated him for everything he said and did, hated him for leaving and for coming back and for being there at all, but most of all you hated yourself for doing what you did. You knew even then that if love were ever real in this land of hate and death, then that was and would ever be the closest you would come.

Wrapped in your fantasies of love and life left behind, you didn't notice the footsteps behind you until they had stopped beside you on the muddy riverbank, the hem of the floral dress swirling in the gentle breeze.

"Rough day." the soft voice you knew, the voice that had got you into this mess because you didn't know when to walk away. There was a time to be brave and a time to call it quits, and you had missed that point a long time ago.

"Jesus Ada, give me some warning." you murmured, more to yourself than to her as she sat beside you. You'd known she would come after you - the whole town must know by now, a million voices in the streets with your name on everyone's lips and suddenly you knew what a fool you'd been to try and keep it secret. This was the last thing that was truly yours and now they knew, now the things you'd carried with you like the last chance you might someday get out of here, spilling out into the river as you grabbed at memories of the way he'd kissed you as he'd left you, the way he'd loved you when you'd thought he really did. This was the worst thing that could happen, and this was the way you dealt with it. You didn't think you had the life within you to run away again.

"I was worried about yer." she was looking at you, but you couldn't quite brig yourself to meet her eyes. Beautiful eyes, so deep and brown, nothing like her brother's at all. She didn't look liker her brother: she looked kind. She looked like she cared, and you knew that was the most dangerous thing of all.

"The whole world is worried about me." You sighed slowly, gazing out across the river at the bird wheeling around the tired beams of the warehouses not so far away. You were tired, tired of secrets and tired of your tiny little life, so big until right now. You'd spent so long thinking you'd never be big enough to fill the aching void of all the lives that you could live, and now the walls were pressing in and suddenly you were big and bad and filled with righteous anger. You were tired of Shelby's and tired of Birmingham and tired of the world beyond the grimy walls because nothing you could ever do would shout louder than the fact that even when you ran away you had never left at all. Everything you did was kept within this damned neighbourhood, and you thought it wasn't any wonder they murdered as they did, because here was Earth and here was Hell, and Heaven was not there at all.

You chuckled bitterly, tears stinging at the back of your eyes, hot with summer rage and the aching in your hands that longed to hit him for what he had done to you and longed for the justice that would come after. The man you loved, he would kill you for sure, for these were men who ruled a world of blood and death and your sweet Tommy was their god. You curled you hand into a tight fist around the smooth rock you held, and threw it into the water just to watch it sink.

"I didn't know." Ada's quiet voice shook you, brought you to her as it always did, and you turned to face her, to see the pity as it overwhelmed her pretty face. She pitied you, the child of pain and fate, she had seen what she had seen and she pitied you most of all, and for all these dreadful things you cried at least for that. What beautiful sins had her brother done that made her so unhappy, made him so damn cold?

"Because I never told you." you shook your head at her. You never told her, you never told a soul, because this was yours and yours alone. Yours to dream and yours to cherish, the one last thing about this goddamn town that no one else could know, the most beautiful moments of your whole life because sometimes you could close your eyes and pretend that he didn't exist at all, that it was all inside your head and the world would never have to know. No one would ever have to know.

"I wish yer'd told me. I could've-" she took your hands desperately, clasping them between her own and begging you, scanning you over like she had never known you at all. You wondered if she really blamed you for never telling her about you, about her brother. She didn't, she wouldn't; she had her secrets and you had yours and the rest of the world had its own, and no one seemed to know anyone these days. Not really, not anymore.

"The damage is done. There's nothing left to say." you slipped your hands out of her hands, smiled at her sadly as she grasped at words to say. There were no words to say, you'd said them all. Your words were crashing in the main room of the Garrison, filling the air until there was not air to breathe, and here the world was empty and you thought she might just catch a glimpse of your darkest soul if she looked hard enough, if she were looking hard enough. With shaking hands you took a cigarette out of your pocket, lit it and took a deep pull and passed it to her, lighting another for yourself.

"You 'aven't said anything at all." she pressed, and you knew she wanted to know a little more, and you also knew she deserved to know a lot more, but truly you weren't ready. She deserved the truth but no one got the truth, not when lies were so much more beautiful and so much more kind. The truth was only for those who had the wealth and confidence to not care what the truth was at all, for soldiers in the trenches and for politicians in their stony towers. It was 1919 and the truth was obsolete.

"I don't think I ever will." your voice was dreamy, and your heart far away. You thought you might have dropped it somewhere in the river that last morning, poured it into your coffee and left it there in the square as his face was already fading. What need had you of a heart if he would not let you love him as you did, if he tore it out and left you bleeding every time he looked your way with those cold dead eyes you loved more than life. There were no words to describe Tommy Shelby, and no feelings with which to do him justice, and even now your petty anger paled before him. It was like shooting at the tides and trying to stop them coming back and back and back to pull you out to sea. At this you drew your legs up out of the water, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around yourself, a little colder than before, despite the bright heat of the morning, a little less certain. You turned away again and blew a trail of soft, sad smoke over the water, and for a long moment there was only the silence of the river and the secrets in between.

"You loved him, didn't yer." It was quiet, almost not there at all, and you caught it through the lull of the water like the whisper of some dream slipping past you as you woke, and like a dream it stopped you in your thoughts, wrapping around your throat and keeping you from saying what you wanted to say. No, of course not. A summer fling, but it had lasted so much more than just one summer. A handful of months, a short eternity, and you thought you might have loved him all your life if you had only known his name. Certainly you had loved him since the moment he had smiled at you, the moment you had seen his eyes, the moment you had left him. You had fallen in love with him a million times, and you had loved him a little more every time.

"Who can ever say. I went to war, Ada. I did what soldiers do. I do what I do to keep myself alive." He kept you sane every single day, he saved you every time you saw his face. He had saved so many, and you had let him save you too, and that was all there was to say. And suddenly you were wondering if all the others fell so sweet, all those pretty girls and angels who he'd write to every day, he promised. You wondered how many knew he never would, and if it made any difference to them. You wished more than anything that you could be the sort of girl who kissed and never told, who could turn around and walk away with all your heart inside of your chest instead of leaving little shattered pieces along the way. Memories of you and him that you thought you must have dreamed up in your lonely mind, because you knew at least he didn't love you know.

"Are you alive?" she frowned at you and you really didn't know what to say. You'd stopped being alive a long time ago, and Tommy Shelby had absolutely nothing to do with it. They used to tell you that it was all some grim lottery, that some would die and some would live and some would spend the rest of their life dying, but no one survived this bloody war, only the horses. Who lived, who died, and everyone died and such was the world and such was the war and such would it always be. There'd be another war and more people would die and you would go on breathing and you'd like it a little less every day, because that was the way you did things when you were only made to die and all the world lived on alone.

"Are you?" you quipped back and put out your cigarette on the jagged stone that jutted out over the river, a road of stone but mostly dirt, tied with blood that ran like veins down the streets, the silvery threads of Tommy Shelby's spiderweb of crime. You turned to her and saw her breathe in and out - how nice to say that she was human when all you were was this tangled mass of broken bones and no soul left at all - and rested your hand on her shoulder to take in all the pallid skin, the emptiness behind. You felt the need to feel every inch of her and know that she was not a name like that sad boy you'd tried to love, she was yours, forever and ever and always, and she wasn't going anywhere.  

"Doesn't matter about me right now, does it." she took a piece of your hair and twirled it in her fingers, leaning your forehead against hers and sighing against your skin, so close that you could taste the sweet perfume on her neck and the smoke that lingered on her tongue, like waking up beside her and knowing she was yours. "I should've told yer. Might've saved us all this trouble."

"It's not your job to keep your brothers in line, Ada." you placed your hand over hers, You were right: it wasn't her job. It was her job to find a nice boy, an honest boy with no blood on his hands, and fall in love with him and get married and get away from here, because no one else seemed to do that here. Something about her told you that she would be the first to have all this and more, and something else told you that she already had. Not for the first time you had the unmistakable feeling that there was so much in her you didn't know. "I appreciate the effort, but I made this mistake. I think I have to figure this one out myself."

"I'm here." she squeezed your hand, twining her fingers with yours and bringing your hand down to your lap. She pulled away a little to look into your eyes, send you a sympathetic gaze that meant nothing more than she would be here when all the world had burned away and nothing else was certain, because she knew that you would do the same, no matter what you did, no matter what her brother had done.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." you grinned lopsidedly at her, taking the chance to stand up and pull her up beside you, smoothing down her dress and leading you down the alleyway with a hand on the small of your back.

"At least let me bring you to the Garrison. Meet the rest of the family, make sure there 'en't any other nasty surprises, eh?" she gave you those big brown eyes that she knew made you melt, and you sighed dramatically, already knowing that you would give in.

"Fine. Just a drink, mind. Think I've 'ad enough of boys for just about the rest of my life." you rubbed your eyes wearily, half to make her laugh and the other half to make her look away from the bright tears that had not quite gone away since the moment you sat down, brushing them away quickly as if you thought she couldn't see them. She caught your hand, swinging it in hers and pressing a short kiss against the back laughingly. Check one, see you cry. You realised that it had been the first time. You realised how drastically okay it felt. 

And there she went ahead of you, and your hand was in her hand, and it was enough to make any pretty girl forget the world of Tommy Shelby, but not you. Not you. 

Taglist: 

Summary: Heartbroken and in the midst of the Great War as a nurse, Y/N L/N writes to a person she never expected to write to before... her brother's friend, Thomas Shelby. But the war's over now and it is time to face the letters...

Warnings: wartime angst, talks of wartime violence, pre-Peaky Blinder Tommy, soldier Tommy

Italics: content of the letters

Series Masterlist

January 1916, 2 Years into the Great War (WW1)

"L/N, you got a letter."

Looking up from the book she was reading, Y/N set it to the side as one of the soldiers came in, handing her a envelope that was a little dirty, had seen a little wear and tear but she recognized the hand writing on it.

She recognized his handwriting after months of writing to Tommy, Y/N remembered the first time she had written Tommy; it came after months of not hearing from her brother when he had left to France with the rest of the men in Small Heath. Y/N had made the decision to join in as a nurse with the Red Cross and maybe it was foolish, but she remembered the night before leaving on the train, when her nursing uniform was on her bed as the nerves were coursing through her that she grabbed a piece a paper and began to write.

Dear Thomas that letter began, she poured out everything about how Small Heath was, how she had signed up as a nurse and how she prayed she wouldn't find any of them in the camp hospital she was going to be. She had written how she barely had made the qualifications of being a nurse for the Red Cross with her just having turned 25 and such.

"Who keeps writing you, F/N?" one of her fellow nurses teased.

"Don't you know that's her boyfriend?" another responded.

"He's not my boyfriend", she denied, feeling a heat go through her.

"Sure he isn't."

The letters have begun as something innocent when Tommy had responded back to her first letter, she could sense the shock in his letter about her writing him but as the letters progressed, so did their relationship through their letters.

Opening the newest letter, Y/N felt a sense of anxiety in her as she remembered having had the courage to send Tommy a picture of her in her uniform; she remembered taking the picture once her training had been done, having donned the periwinkle, long-sleeve floor-length dress with the white apron that wrapped around her and went down to the ground. She had to tightly wrapped her back back into the white cap like habit.

A big red cross over the chest of her apron, she had sent the photo off with her letter and prayed that he didn't dislike it.

Reading the letter, she traced over his handwriting, feeling where he pressed hard on the paper as he wrote as she read how he found her to be beautiful in her photo.

You look even more beautiful than when I last saw you...

It made her heart clench as she saw how he wrote how he hid the photo in his service jacket from the others, that he didn't want them to see the lovely girl that kept writing him letters because he felt possessive over this same piece of heaven that was keeping him sane.

Y/N could picture Tommy in the trenches, covered in grime and dirt as he had to listen to the horrors of the wartime. She read how he longed for the war to be over, how he was fortunate enough to be with people that he knew, but he was terrified.

They're sending me to the underground soon. They want me and the others to be sappers, dig in the tunnels under No Man's Land

Y/N felt her heart drop at the prospect of Tommy going into the tunnels, having to dig with shovels under the handles broke and he would be forced to dig with his hands. She had seen some soldiers came in, having treated their hands for digging under the trenches and dealing with the explosives.

My only comfort is you, being able to bring the picture you sent me down in the ground where death might be waiting for me... the only thing that has gotten me through this damned war is you...

"Ladies, we got mass casualties coming in!" their head nurse shouted into the tent. "Look alive, ladies!"

Y/N tucked the newest letter into her pillowcase, knowing she was once again about to face the horrors of the war as she reminisced on Tommy's smile, she knew he smiled a lot.

But now, she had a feeling he didn't smile as much.

Dear Thomas,

I'm sure you're curious as to why you received a letter from B/N's litter sister. Frankly, I'm a little shocked I'm writing to you, I've not heard from my brother no matter the amount of letters I've sent.

That was how the first letter started, Tommy sometimes would re-read the letter when he couldn't sleep amongst the noises of screaming soldiers and anxiety.

"Shelby, ya girl's sent another letter", one of his fellow soldiers said as he held out a envelope.

Tommy grabbed the envelope, none of his brothers were around as he opened the letter; he remembers the shy smiles Y/N would send him when he would see her as she visited her brother, the little nose wrinkle she got when she would laugh a loud, deep belly laugh (one that he knew others called unladylike, but that he remembered fondly).

He felt the smooth texture of a photo in the letter, pulling the picture to his eyes and he felt a sense of... love come over him as he saw the picture of her in her nursing ward uniform. A small smile on her full lips, the roundness of her cheeks that only made her look younger, he could see in her eyes the nerves of everything. The cap hid her hair from view and he wondered if she had cut it short like other nurses were forced to do because of sanitation and he was curious if she still smiled.

pairing: tommy shelby x reader

warnings: angst, curse words, alcohol

summary: you gave in into ada‘s beggings to come with her to the garrison new opening, also if that means, that you‘ll see tommy again. tommy gets really jealous, when he sees you talking to a man all night and thinks of a way to finally prove his love for you.

part 1 part 2

authors note: i’m sorry you had to wait this long, it took me a while, but my heart can rest now and tommy is forgiven. it was so much fun writing this and have to thank y’all once again for your support, it really means the world to me <3 i also thought about writing for alex turner, since the arctic monkeys are my favorite band or maybe marvel? of course i’d still write for the peaky blinders but i’d love to hear your opinion on that anyway <3

also to be added to my taglist you can comment or write in my text box on my profile. you can also request imagines there if you want 💌

taglist: @itscheybaby @lenaskyler02 @dopeqff @bloomskater @50svibes

„ugh, ada i‘m not sure about this“ you said while standing in front of your body heigh mirror, worrying about this evening for the fifth time today, put differently: complaining to ada the fifth time today.

ada had begged you to attend with her to the garrison new opening for weeks now. you always said no, but she wouldn’t stop bringing the topic up in every conversation you two would have, until you eventually gave in and agreed to go with her. you wouldn’t have had a problem visiting the garrison with her, if there wasn’t this thing with tommy. you hadn’t seen him since he showed up on your doorstep, asking for your forgiveness. ever since then your thoughts wouldn’t leave you alone, always swirling about his surprising visit. seeing his face again reminded you how much you suppressed your feelings for him in the last years. you cursed yourself for feeling butterflies in your stomach, while thinking about him. if you could, you would not hesitate to grab a swatter and kill each of them. the flowers and letters he send to you regularly wouldn’t help keeping your mind off of him.

ada stood behind you, powdering her nose. she rolled her eyes at you. “y/n i know it’s hard for you to see tommy again, but you can’t avoid him forever. sooner or later you would see him anyway, so soon it is.” she said while putting the powdering sponge down on the table next to her. she came closer to you and fixed some loose hair from your bun. “tommy is a real idiot, i will not contradict, but don’t you think you could try to give him a chance? i know for sure that he is really sorry. ever since he found you i haven’t seen him eating or sleeping. he even neglected his work and you know his distinctive desire to work himself to death.” he paused for a second, now stroking over your shoulder with her hands, while looking at you in the mirror. “you have to talk to him.”

you returned ada’s deep gaze. you closed your eyes, thinking about what she said. you hated that she was right. you could not always avoid him and you started questioning yourself if that even was what you wanted. the pictures of tommy and you laughing together, running through the betting shop in the morning although polly forbad it, when you were little kids or the day you were sitting on the couch, crying with tissues in your hand, because some dumb boy messed around with your feelings, swirled in your head. tommy returned home with blood on his hands, one hour after he comforted and hugged you, until the anger on this boy took the best of him and he stormed outside to find this fucker.

you opened your eyes again, looking right into ada‘s and admitting quietly „you‘re right. i gue-“ you were interrupted with a relieved sigh from ada. „i‘m really glad you‘re saying this, because otherwise you‘d probably cancel our visit at the garrison“ she said, sounding very happy about your previous words. you turned around to face her, confusion written all over your face. “what do you mean?” you asked.

ada looked at you, then to the floor, trying to find words to explain herself. after a moment of silence she startet. „you know i only have a one passenger seat car and as i have a driver i organized a second car to pick you up.” ada said, now looking up to your face again. your expression went expecting, not believing she told you everything. “well it’s someone your not on good terms with right now” she confessed. you froze. you had a dark foreboding. no she didn’t, right? “ada no” you slowly said. already trying hard to think of a plan to get out of here. maybe through the back door?

ada grabbed her clock to check the time and looked at you prior to grabbing your shoulders and saying: “yes y/n and you can’t back up now, he is going to be here any second.” as if it was staged, the silence was broken with a knock on the door. “perfect” she said, while turning around hurriedly to grab her coat from the wardrobe and answering the door. “don’t mess up” were the words ada greeted tommy with. there he was. he wore a red tie with his usual white shirt and a dark suit. topped with a black coat, wich had a red velvet inside. on his head the typical peaked flatcap. it was like everything went by slower, like you saw him for the first time and you fell for him as soon as you locked your eyes with his’

ada looked back and forth between the two of you. she put on her coat and went outside through the door, while she said, that you’ll meet her at the garrison. although you knew you had to talk to tommy you were mad at ada for forcing you into the cold water without giving you a proper warning before. you made your way towards him until you stood in front of him. you didn’t know what to say, so you were glad that he spoke up first. “hello y/n”

you couldn’t move, still weren’t able to say a word. he took a step forward to close the distance between you and him. he took your coat off of the wardrobe next to the door and held it out, gesturing for you to turn around, so he could help you to put your coat on. you still couldn’t tear your gaze away from his icy blue eyes, but comply his offer after a moment. after he put on your coat you went to face the little highboy in your hallway to grab your purse to look in the little mirror above it, for the last time.

“you look wonderful” he assured you and held out his leather glove covered hand for you to take. you couldn’t help but smile at his comment. it was like all the anger, the urge to slap him across his perfect face and yell at him to let out all your frustration puffed up to smoke. your thoughts betrayed you, again. still you could not kill the butterflies, that were now tingling inside your stomach. “thank you” you said softly, not having the guts to look him in the eyes. you blew out the candle on the hightop and then took his hand into yours, to let him lead you outside.

you closed the door behind you and were faced with the gloominess of the night. your eyes weren’t adjusted to the dark yet, but you could make out the purple tulips, you had planted in your front yard a few days ago and tommy’s black bentley, wich was parked in front of it. you walked to his car and he held the door open for you. you sat on the passenger seat, while tommy walked around the car and sat beside you. a thick silence laid between the two of you, until he broke it by starting the engine. after a few minutes went by he decided to start the conversation.

“so i guess ada didn’t tell you about my visit?” he said with his deep voice. you looked out of the window, trying to see something of the landscape in the dark. “no not really, she mentioned it just a second before you knocked on the door” you answered, still looking out the window. you played with the thought of telling him, that you missed him and weren’t mad anymore. before you reflected the thought in your head a second time the words left your mouth. quietly, but he still understood them clearly. “i miss you”

his eyes went wide, not believing to heard you right. he missed you too, a lot, but didn’t ever think you’d return this feelings, thinking you’d hate hin for a lifetime now. he cleared his throat, before stumbling nervously. “i miss you too” tommy waited for you to answer, but as you didn’t say anything after a few moments, he continued the dialogue. “we all miss you, didn’t you think about coming back?” you squirmed a little bit in your seat after he said that.

of course you has thought about coming back, but as beautiful as it was, it was as scary. you didn’t know if you could just go back to your old life, acting like nothing ever happened. of course you’d love to just have to go to the next house to see polly or ada or finn, oh god you haven’t seen finn in ages, he’s probably all grown up now. you really were looking forward to see him today.

“yeah, actually i have been thinking about it” you answered and now moved your gaze away to look at tommy. he looked so calm. as he noticed, that you were staring at him, he turned his head to lock his eyes with you. you both got lost for a moment, but you lead the two of you in the reality again, by saying tommy he had to look on the road. his eyes were back on the road and cleared his throat, and he muttered a quiet “right” under his breath.

“i mean i’d be lovely to see you all again, but i don’t know if i could manage to move alone” you continued, your eyes were on the road now too. his head shot in your direction. “i could help you, my men will carry everything, you wouldn’t have to move a finger. you can move to the arrow hohse.” he said immediately. “tommy, the road” you warned, looking in his eyes. when he reluctantly turned his eyes back on the road, a smile creeped onto your lips, because of his eager for you to move back to birmingham.

you let out a deep breath. “i don’t know if it is a good idea i move in with you tommy” you said after a while. “you know about my feelings for you and i know about yours, but i think that’d be really hasty, don’t you think?“ you continued. he stayed silence for a moment. the car stopped. you stood in front of the garrison. you didn’t realize how fast the ride went by. tommy turned the engine off and looked at you.

“yes, i understand that. so what is your plan then?” he asked. you turned your head to him and met his deep gaze. you took a moment before answering with a counter question “friends?” his eyes still locked with yours. he nodded “friends.” he confirmed. your lips curled into a smile.

you got out of the car, he opened the door for you again and took your hand to lead you inside. you were greeted with people laughing, chattering and dancing. loud music was playing, when tommy and you went inside. you saw john sitting at a table with a woman next to his side, wich you guessed was esme, his wife. he told you about her when he visited you in your little house. opposite them was sitting a boy, looking a few years younger than john. he had blonde hair and the sides of his head were shaved down. he looked skinny and tall, you couldn’t exactly tell though, because they were sitting.

tommy lead you to them and as soon as john saw you he stood up and ripped you out of tommy’s grip to involve you into a deep hug. you couldn’t help but smile at the familiar scent. “y/n i’m so glad you came” he said while pulling back from the hug. “i’m really glad i’m here too” you smiled. “i missed you johnny boy” you said while pinching his cheek a little to tease him. he playfully rolled his eyes at you and turned around.

“y/n this is my wife, esme” john introduced you proudly. you smiled at her and she pulled you into a loving hug, telling you how much she’ve heard about you. after you let go of each other, your eyes went to the blonde boy, who got up now. “and this young man is mr. finn shelby” john said. your eyes went wide. you stormed toward him to hug him, he was surprised but returned the hug after a moment. you pulled back and had your hands laid on his shoulders. you gazed him from head to toe. “look at you, your all grown up now. it’s crazy how long i was gone” you said fascinated. he let out a little chuckle. “i’m glad you’re back” he told you, giving you a sweet smile.

tommy cleared his throat in the background to lead the attention to him. “i think we should get a drink, don’t you think y/n” he asked you. “oh, can you get me a whiskey?” finn asked, before you could answer. you turned your head to his and slapped his arm. you were shocked. he was 16! “no whiskey! you’re way too young. my god what did you do to him” the last part was very much dedicated to tommy and john. “we’ll get you water” you said to finn, while walking back to tommy.

you went to the bar, where tommy pulled out his pack of cigarettes. you declined the cigarette, he offered you, saying you’d only want to have one or two drags from his smoke. as you laid your eyes on the bar, you saw a familiar face. “arthur!” you yelled. his head shot up and a. big smile plastered his face as he saw you. “y/n! you’re here” you went behind the bar to hug him tightly. when you two pulled apart, you noticed that tommy sat on one of the golden bar chairs, lightning his cigarette. you took a look at all the bottles behind you and turned around again to face tonmy.

“what do you want to drink, mr. shelby” you asked him playfully. he raised his eyebrows, looking at you. his look shifted to arthur before he said “we’ve got a new barmaid, eh?” arthur laughed in response. you didn’t bother to answer and just looked at his expectingly, gesturing for him to tell you want you want. “whiskey, irish” he said, taking a drag from his cigarette. you turned around and grabbed three glasses from the shelf behind you and the bottle of whiskey tommy ordered. you poured some of the liquid into the glasses as tommy blew out the smoke.

the three of you took your glasses in your hand and arthur was the first to raise it. “to the garrison” he said and gave you the signal to drink. you drowned your drink, because of the thought that your optimism for the evening might fade soon. after you set your glass down, you took tommy’s cigarette from his hands and took a long drag. you closed your eyes, inhaling the smoke. the calming feeling the cigarette gave you was soon to be taken away as ada joined the three of you. “y/n! there you are. i thought you two had an accident” she said relieved.

you gave tommy the cigarette back as you blew out the smoke. “oh no, we were just talking to john, finn and esme.” you explained, your hand gesturing towards their table. ada nodded to you knowingly. you went to grab ada a glass as well, pouring the whiskey inside of it. she drowned it as well and when she sat it down, she held out her hand for you to take it and yelled “common y/n, let’s have some fun, that’s what were here for” you laughed a little bit at her tipsy behavior, but feeling your body reacting to the alcohol lightly too. you excused yourself to tommy and arthur and then went with ada to plunge yourselves in the crowd.

a while later you went back to the bar, to get yourself a drink. you didn’t see tommy or arthur anymore so you turned to harry and ordered a glass of whiskey. as you took the glass harry gave you, a man neared you from behind and said to harry. “her drink is on me” he yelled through the loud noises of the croud, so harry could understand him. you tapped his arm and made him look at you. “actually my drinks are on the house but thats very kind of you, thanks” you set to him. he raised his eyebrows at you, looking surprised. “oh, are you related with the shelbys? i didn’t know they had another sister” he said. “no, not exactly related i’m just very close with them” you answered smiling shyly. “thank god, i was a bit scared when i saw you walking in with mr. shelby but i thought why not try my luck” he chuckled. “i’m sorry i’m being rude, my name is aldwyn.” the man introduced while holding his hand out. you shook it while looking into his eyes and said “y/n”

after you let go, aldwyn collected all his courage and asked “well y/n do you maybe want to-“ “no she doesn’t” someone interrupted him. “what?” you and aldwyn asked at the same time. you turned around confused, just to look into tommy’s icy blue eyes. “tommy what-“ you tried to say, but were cut off by tommy again. “she is busy right now” tommy said not taking his strict eyes off of aldwyn. “i don’t see her doing anything right now” aldwyn answered boldly. you were surprised he’d talk back to tommy shelby, but before you could say anything tommy had grabbed your hand pulled you to the side.

“tommy what the fuck?” you said winding of his grip. “why did you talk to this arse?” he asked you angrily. “why did i talk to-“ you interrupted yourself, shocked, because he even had the audacity to ask that as if it wasn’t obvious. “well, i talked to him because he was kind and nice to me. he even wanted to pay for my drink” you answered him just as mad. “wow, bravo your drinks are on the house, i always pay for your drinks.” he said. you rolled your eyes at him and said “whatever i’m gonna find-“ you were interrupted once again, by tommy pulling you back to him and mumbling “no you’re not”

you were annoyed by tommy’s behavior now and squirmed in his grip “tommy stop” he looked down at you, before he muttered under his breath “alright that’s it” you looked at him confused, not understanding what he meant. “OUT!” he shouted. the pub fell in silence and all eyes were on tommy. “EVERYONE GET THE OUT!” he yelled again to clear his sudden shout. the people still looked at him confused. “tommy what?” arthur asked standing up from a table. “everyone get the fuck out of here, i don’t wanna repeat myself” tommy spat. after a few seconds the people started mumbling quietly, before everyone slowly made their way out of the pub.

you looked at him, still not understanding what he was doing. as everyone left the pub and it was only you and him left. “y/n i love you so fucking much i can’t even put it into words and seeing you talking to this bastard. it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest” the worlds left his mouth before he could stop them. your eyes softened. of course you knew that, since he already told you but seeing him frighten off all the people out of the garrison just to tell you probably that he loved you made your heart melt. a small smile creeped onto your lips. “y/n please i know it’s really really fast, but i- i can’t stand seeing you talking other man, knowing i can’t do anything about it. since you left i could not take my mind of you for a second and i-“ you shut him up by pressing your lips onto his. he was surprised, but as soon as he realized what was happened he kisses you back. it was the most loving and passionate kiss you’ve ever shared with someone and you couldn’t help but smile widely when you pulled back.

“that means you stay?” he answered, out of breath, resting his forehead against yours. you couldn’t build any sentence right now, so you just nodded lightly. “forever?” he asked.

Pairing = Thomas Shelby x Reader

Summary = Ana recognises a voice that still gives her chills in her spine after two years. 

Warnings = Language, Grammar, Violence, Fluffs, Drugs mentioned! Alcohol, Smoking, 

Word Count = 3859

Note = Over a week since I updated. Apologies honestly. This is rather long but not overly long...does that make sense? Loose ends are being snipped. 

Rushing across the cobble streets, I tried to control my excitement as I burst through the large black door of Shelby Company Limited. My heels bounced off the stairs as I hurried to the top, my breathing laboured due to the amount of rushing I had been doing. 

My chest felt on fire as I stubble through the office door, immediately catching Lizzie’s attention. Tommy had moved her to the upstairs office last week, giving her more room. It was also easier for him to depict letters to her this way. 

“Everything alrig…”

“Tommy in his office?” I puffed out, clutching the lapels of my coat together. 

“Um yeah, but he doesn’t want to be disturbed.” Lizzie nodded, her words trailing off as she remember who she was talking to. Squinting her eyes, they trailed along my body as if inspecting me for injury.

“Thank you Lizzie.” I sent a soft smile her way, composing myself before opening the wooden door.