#thomasriddleston

You know what? Just forget about it. Like, if you’re an actual human person and not like a ghost from the 1930s who got stuck here or a being who needs like a vessel or a name in order to get out of here, just destroy the ID. You can keep the twenty bucks and the gamer’s card that I got two summer’s ago and loaded with two hundred dollars. I’ve never used it. 

That’s twenty dollars and two hundred dollars in gamer’s dollars. You know how many games of Time Crisis 3 you can play with two hundred dollars? That’s an entire Saturday of pure bliss. 

If you are not human and are in fact an Elsewhere being, hello. My name is not Thom Anderson. I am not from Dover Delaware. That is not my current student ID. That is not my old high school ID that I should’ve thrown away the day after graduation. All three of those IDs don’t lead up to you being able to correctly identify me. 

That receipt from parking is not for a black 2010 Jetta. I do not live in the dorms  

Just like….Let’s chill out. I mean, what would you really want with a name like Thom Anderson?

Not that I’d know, but there’s nothing even in Dover Delaware. Also, I’m scrawny. I mean that Thom Anderson is scrawny.

Dude probably played in band or something. Do you really want that energy? I know I don’t. But not like from personal experience.

My name? Let’s not get into specifics. It’s definitely not Thom Anderson unless you’re cool, in which case it definitely is. Please give me my ID back I can’t get into the dorms without it and gettng a replacement would require me to give my name which just leads us all in a circle.