Aug 1, 2024
Thomas:I'm afraid I'm gonna need your name.
Isol:
Isol:
Isol:(breathes in)
Isol:No.
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Thomas:I'm afraid I'm gonna need your name.
Isol:
Isol:
Isol:(breathes in)
Isol:No.
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Li Dailin:Hey, where’s the toothbrush holders?
Thomas:Right over there.
Li Dailin:What’s up with these ones... Who’s got four toothbrushes? Bill Gates?
Thomas:No, that’s for a family.
Li Dailin:....a family? Like a whole family, and their toothbrushes all together? Two slots for the parent toothbrushes, and two slots for their.... kids?
Thomas:Yup.
Li Dailin:(tearing up) So the parent toothbrushes can be close to the kid toothbrushes, and.. watch over them, and..... they can all talk about their toothbrush feelings? And they can hold their little toothbrush hands when they’re sad, and... make sure no harm ever comes to their little bristles?
Thomas:Sure.
(Li Dailin runs off, grabs a plunger, and starts crying into it.)
Thomas:(hands her a box of tissues) Do you need a tissue?
Li Dailin:Thank you, I’m... so embarassed. (She grabs a tissue, then looks at the box.) a FAMILY PACK?!
(She starts bawling into the plunger.)
Thomas:Do you have a significant other?
Jenny:I’m significant by myself.
Thomas:I once told Daniel to have a good birthday tomorrow since we were switching researchers and I’d be in charge of someone else, and he stopped before asking me how I knew his birthday.
Thomas: I explained that it’s in his file, and I made a note of everyone’s birthdays so I could give them a card or small gift. He stared at me for a few seconds and said,
Thomas: “I don’t like that. You don’t know my birthday, unknow it.”
Thomas:So this subject I’m taking care of has never been born.
Nadja:Hey, can you watch this experiment for a while for me? I need to go do something.
Thomas:Oh, okay. How long do you expect it to take?
Nadja:Shouldn’t take too long. Between an hour and eleven months.
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Thomas:What would you suggest I give as a gift to a teenager?
Hyunwoo:Death.
Eva:Death.
Silvia:Death.
Sissela:Death.
Jackie:Murder.
Thomas:Uhh.... cool. (He writes down “dog”.)
Thomas:What might a blind date conveniently forget to mention about themselves?
Meiji:That they’re blind.
Angelika: I am like Superman. And the people who work here are like citizens of Gotham City.
Thomas:That.... would be Batman. Batman is the one in Gotham, ma’am.
Angelika:Fine. I'm Aquaman. Where does he live?
Meiji: The ocean, miss.
Angelika:....I understand how hypocritical it is to say this to a group of scientists, but I work with a bunch of nerds.