#tholan

Theo Raeken x Nolan Holloway

Nolan had never expected this. Theo never could have known that he could love someone like this. It felt like the sun and the stars aligned for them.

Headcanons under the cut

Author: parttimehuman

BIRTHDAY GIFT FOR THE WONDERFUL @osirismind! Happy birthday, love!

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Tags: deep conversations about life and afterlife, remorse and redemption, second chances, Theo is a poor bean, Theo is a pure bean

Summary: Nolan works at the gates of heaven. It's his job to assess the new arrivals and send them either to heaven, to hell, or back to life. Things get complicated when Theo appears in front of him with a gaping hole in his chest and a tragic story that makes Nolan question whether he really wants to send him back to that life. But can he bring himself to letting Theo die for good?

Sneak Peak:

"You know what's the crucial difference between life and the afterlife?" Nolan asks, because Theo doesn't know what he's asking him for, and Nolan isn't ready to let go. He gets it. He doesn't want to send Theo back to a life that is nothing but unfair to him. To restless nights in the backseat of a car and loneliness. That's far from what he wishes for Theo. But can he bring himself to letting Theo go? Letting him die for good?

Theo doesn't reply, only shakes his head.

"Change, Theo. Heaven or hell, it doesn't matter. You'll be stuck there as exactly the person you are now. You will know what you have learned so far, you will be haunted by the demons that visit you in your nightmares now. You will be on the lookout for the same bunch of friends you've made until now. Even in heaven, all won't be good, you know. You won't be yourself anymore, for the sole reason that you'll stay like this forever. You'll be this twenty-something version of you."

"That sounds like the scariest story about heaven I've ever heard."

"It's not scary, it just isn't for you yet. That's what life is for. Living. Changing, growing, learning. For the days you'll have to be fighting, and the ones you'll be winning. For the lessons learned and the mistakes made. For the chance to move on or to stay around a little longer.  For you to dare yourself to be brave, and for you to fail. To fall down and get back up again, to try again and get a little closer. For you to make new friends and chase new horizons. I can't promise you you won't be sad forever, or feel guilty. But I can promise you, in life, you won't be this Theo forever. Not even for a minute longer, in fact."

Crux #7 (2001)