#thismightnotendwell

On Wednesday, I receive a text from Mr. Island.

Mr. Island was a boyfriend I had in high school, with whom I was totally taken, but who cheated on me with a girl who was two years younger - humiliating.We broke up and I saw him every few years (just as “friends,” we never dated again), until he got married.

Last year, when I was in my hometown for my sister’s wedding, he called, said he was divorced now and realized he needed a woman like me, and asked me if he could take me to St. Thomas for a vacation.

Bold move, Mr. Island. Scary, but bold. The grand gesture is incredibly romantic and appreciated, however we haven’t hung out in over a decade and I think we should have coffee before we jet-set to an exotic locale.

At the time, I blew him off, because it was too much. I felt a little bad about it, but returned to Los Angeles, continued dating and forgot all about him.

Until Wednesday.

Here is the transcript of our text messages (He is M, I am R and I will BOLDmy responses):

M: What’s up? Remember when I asked you to St. Thomas? I’m moving there in November.

R: You are? That’s amazing! I’m sorry I didn’t follow up on that – my schedule is very demanding and I was a little afraid.

M: No problem! Afraid of what?

R: Being alone on an island? We didn’t even have lunch first, lol. It’s been so long and I think I was nervous about the deep range of possible feelings.

M: What type of feelings honey?

R: You were the first boy I ever loved! But I am so different now. And you probably are too. It felt like a lot.

M: I’m the same old boy that I ever was. My personality can adapt to any other. Kind, honest, loyal, down to earth and sarcastic. We will always get along!

M: My personality is timeless.

R: ;)

M: That’s all you got for me?

R: I believe you. I remember you. I am totally different. I’m quiet and private and introverted now. I can’t go very many places without getting recognized, so I spend most of my spare time at home or w a few close friends.

M: I love being at home and just chilling. I hate going out. I’m private too because people are all over me since I’ve been on TMZ

M: Seriously I don’t go out

R: Oh, then you totally understand! ;)

M: I do! I’m not even going to ask you to visit me in St Thomas since I’m such a threat. By the way I still have feelings for you. Don’t ignore how we feel about each other

R: Haha, you are very threatening. Maybe we should try a Skype sesh and see how that goes

M: Don’t know what that mess but sounds reid

M: Threatening? That’s a strong and intrusive word. What the hell man?

R: I was teasing you, after you said, “since I’m such a threat”

M: Haha! Anyway… I am still interested in Ms. [Redacted] I just wish that she still wanted me!

R: That hasn’t ever been the problem!

M: What was the problem? I’ll fix it!

R: [name of girl with whom he cheated on me in high school] ;)

M: She’s history. We are talking about you. That’s who I’m interested in. If you have no interest let me know and I’ll leave you alone.

R: Well, I don’t know yet. I’m not disinterested and I am open to getting to know you better.

M: I guess not

M: You know me! What if I came to LA to visit you!

ONE HOUR PASSES (I am in a meeting)

M: Never mind.

M: I’ll be in St. Thomas.

A HALF AN HOUR PASSES (still in my meeting)

M: That’s all you’ve got?

M: You always were a quitter

R: I was in a meeting. It is lovely to finish up a tough audition and be greeted by such kind words. I hope St. Thomas is wonderful for you.

M: I’m sorry. Don’t hold that against me. I want to hang out and see how we feel.

R: You are way too passive aggressive right now for me to feel comfortable.

R: And I have another meeting in 6 minutes, so I need to prepare

M: Talk later… sorry

M: Text me when you’re done. Sorry that I was too passive aggressive. Let’s chat! Don’t be mad

M: You know I still want you! You’re beautiful, sexy and

M: Alluring

ONE HOUR LATER

M: I feel bad… sorry

ONE HOUR LATER

M: You done with your meeting?

TWO HOURS LATER

M: Night

ONE HOUR LATER

M: (picture of M, holding a baby girl, not his child)

M: Don’t be pissed at me!!!!

M: (another picture of M, holding the same baby girl)

M: Don’t be pissed at me!!!

HE CALLS MY PHONE AND LEAVES A MESSAGE:

M: [Redacted], it’s Mr. Island. Ummmm, please don’t be mad at me, I apologize about before, ummm, give me a call back or, ummmm, send me a message, just to let me know you’re not mad, I hope you’re not, so…. Anyway, that’s it.I’ll talk to you soon.

THE NEXT DAY AT SEVEN-THIRTY IN THE MORNING

M: Do you like my picture? It shows my softer side. How could you be mad at a guy like that? Aren’t I adorable? ;)

I RECEIVE TWO PHONE CALLS FROM MYSTERIOUS NUMBERS, NO MESSAGES.

ONE HOUR LATER

M: We cool now? I was totally kidding when I said you were a quitter! It makes no sense cause I never knew you as a quitter. My bad for saying it but no reason to ruin our relationship over. Especially our potentially budding one!

M: I like you and always have your smart, beautiful. Breathtaking, amazing

And unmarked.

ONE HOUR LATER

M: What else do I Have you u as my number! Is it you Ms. [Redacted]?

M: Sorry for trying!!

M: Give the man you love one more chance

FIVE HOURS LATER

M: [Redacted]… please forgive me. You’ve never been mad at me like this!! I was just joking beautiful.

ONE HOUR LATER

M: If your serious b this is nuts.. I’ve always had strong feelings for you and if you wont talk to me over something so silly than what can I do? I thought we both liked each other

M: Come on [Redacted]. I like you and want to get to know you better. Work with me beautiful.

FOUR HOURS LATER

M: The silent treatment is really starting to kill me. Are we just never gonna talk again? That would make me very sad.

ONE WEEK LATER

M: I give up.  You are way beyond me now.  Enjoy your success.  I’ll cheer for you.

ONE HOUR LATER

M: Can I get one word?  Where would you like to go?  You tell me we’re there!  Serious

ONE HOUR LATER

M: Let’s go on vacation!

AND IN MY FACEBOOK MESSAGES:

M: Hey!  I was totally joking the other day.  Please find it in your heart to forgive me.  

M: Please don’t be mad.  Forgiveness Ms. [Redacted].  Let’s get back to talking.  It’s much nicer.  Especially with you. 

(attached another picture of himself, with a child on his shoulders)

THE NEXT DAY

M:  Another chance?  Begging!  Will give up for good soon.

M:  Can’t you at least say something?  The silence is killing me!

M: [Redacted]… We could have something special between us.  I made a remark that was a joke and now you won’t even talk to me.  It hurts to say this but I give up.  I think you already did.  Miss you.

TWO HOURS LATER

M: [Redacted]… This is my final plea.  We could have something special and we shouldn’t throw it away over a joke.  I made a mistake and I’m so sorry.  The way you’re acting makes me believe that you have no interest in having anything to do with me.  With that in mind this will be my final message and attempt to reach you.  I sincerely hope to hear from you.

THE NEXT DAY 

M: You’re clearly done with me.  Bye. 

AND BACK TO TEXT THE NEXT DAY, AS I HAVE BLOCKED HIM FROM FACEBOOK:

M: You miss me?  I miss talking to you.  Miss understanding.  Don’t write me off. 

I CONTACT A MUTUAL FRIEND OF OURS AND ASK HIM TO HELP MR. ISLAND UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT INTERESTED AND WILL NOT RESPOND.  HE AGREES AND THE TEXT MESSAGES STOP.

UNTIL TWO WEEKS LATER, WHEN I RECEIVE THIS ON MY FAN PAGE:

M: Want to be your friend again. Miss you

AND TWO WEEKS LATER, WHEN I RECEIVE THIS TEXT:

M: Hey [Redacted]!!  Congratulations on your success.  I hope that we can be friends again someday.  I don’t want you out of my life.  

AND A FEW WEEKS AFTER THAT:

M: Just want you to know that I think you look great!  You're doing an awesome job.  Proud of you!

AND THEN A FEW DAYS LATER:

M: Do I have the right number?

AND ANOTHER WEEK MORE:

M: Hey [Redacted], Can you PLEASE get back to me?  I really need to talk to you.

AND MANY MONTHS LATER BY MY WORK EMAIL FOUND ON THE INTERNET:

"Hey [Redacted]!  It's your old friend Mr. Island.  I have been tried to reach you over the past few months with no success.  I don't know whether you changed your contact info or just don't feel like communicating with me anymore.  I hope that the latter isn't the case.  Anyway, I will be in your area next week and wanted to see if you would be available to get together.  I hope that you can and that this message finds you well.  Thanks."  

THIS IS FOLLOWED BY AN ADDITIONAL EMAIL OF A PICTURE OF HIS FACE WAY UP CLOSE CAPTIONED "DO YOU REMEMBER ME [REDACTED]?"

I contact the local police for advice.  I tell them that I am not interested in responding, but that I am also somewhat fearful that he is flying from the East to West coast to find me.  The officer is kind, and explains to me that if I don't write anything, Mr. Island can claim he never knew I wasn't interested.  REALLY?  Okay.  I agree to write the following:

"Mr. Island,

I am not interested in communicating with you.  Your texts/calls/Facebook messages/emails have made me extremely uncomfortable and I have no desire to speak with or see you.  Please do not contact me again.  

[Redacted]"

I immediately receive a response:  

"Wow dude!  That was certainly not my intention and is upsetting to hear.  I mean this truly is a first... no one has ever said such a thing to me. :)  I guess you got too big for some people.