One thing I will never do is get into a relationship. The emotional exhaustion has taken a toll on me. There is just so much love and trust you can invest in one person, hoping that they won't hurt you or let you down. But time and time again, you are disappointed. Because you love them, you want to forgive them. You want to believe they didn't intentionally hurt you. And maybe they didn't... the first time. But once they see just how much love you have for them, how forgiving your heart is, and how much you'd do for them, they realize how much they can get away with. How much you will overlook, let go, or not bring up. All for the simple fact that you love them so immensely. You'd do anything for them. Why can they not see that? You watch as they put others first. Slowly you feel yourself drift away- from the relationship, but most importantly, yourself. You become numb to the abuse. Mental. Emotional. Sometimes even physical. You become numb to how they make you feel, how they treat you, how they act towards you. After awhile you almost expect it. You ask yourself why you stay, why you even want anything to do with them? Truth is, it's not always bad. But don't get your hopes up, because it will go back to how it usually is. They prove to you that it was all just a fantasy, or a figment of your imagination. A reality that will never be achieved. Is it you? Why he won't stay loyal? Maybe you are crazy, just like he tells others. Maybe you aren't pretty enough, that's why he needs to talk to those other girls. You constantly ask yourself why you weren't good enough for him. You gave him all of you. You gave him every part of you. You showed him the side of you no one else saw. He knew everything about you. To him you were vulnerable. And with this, I must say you need to get out. Move on. Realize that you are better off without him. You don't need anyone who doesn't see your worth or who doesn't appreciate you. Please respect yourself enough to know that this isn't love. No matter how "good" the good times are. He's not worth it. He will no longer have control over you.