#thishasbeenarant

Probably going to get blasted for it. But I don't give a fuck anymore.

A gun ban is going to do absolutely nothing.

The criminals and bad people, or the people who really want to get their hands on a gun WILL get their hands on a gun. No matter what anyone does. They have ways, and if they cant buy one, they'll make one.

The people who say "push for gun control." "Ban all guns" "all guns are bad" .... Let me ask you this.

Have you ever had a loaded gun held to your head? Have you ever had a loaded gun held to your kids head?

Let me tell you from experience...

Its not fun.

Its not kind.

Its something that I relive almost every day.

And you know what?

The man who held the loaded gun to my head and my childs head, by law, was not supposed to own a fucking gun.

Guess what. He still got his hands on one.

don't tell me that some damn law, written words on paper, is going to fix the problem america has today. Because guess what,

It fucking won't.

Yes, I have a gun. Yes I have a permit. Yes I conceal carry. No I don't give a fuck what other people say.

I carry, because of the chance that I may be in that same situation again. If that man comes and tries to harm me or my son again, this time, maybe ill have a chance to protect us.

So don't give me any bullshit about how LAWS or BANS of words on paper will EVER help control the gun problem.

The only way we could ever hope to try and control it, or even attempt to is.....shit....wait....we are all human. We are smart, we are cruel, we arre kind, we are dumb, we are multiple things...

And if we want to, someone will find a way around laws.

Dear H,

I unfollowed your posts for a reason. Seeing your sweet selfies with her reminded me of a scar you'd given me. The wound left by that feeling, that forsaken feeling of what could have happened if it was you and me. If only I had known the courage and right timing to tell you how I feel, everything might have been better. So seeing you quickly liking my most eccentric posts gives me the chills. I hope you'd stop it, please let me heal.

I’ve debated writing this for some time. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t post as much on here but I figured it’s my tumblr. I’m going through feelings and I’m going to share them.

It’s been a struggle since moving to Florida. Mentally.

It’s odd to be simultaneously happy with my marriage, where we are in our life, where we are headed(career wise, financially, and baby town) and yet be incredibly unhappy with living in Florida.