can I just have a midlife crisis with you even though it's actually not even a midlife cuz Im not even 18 but it feels like it?
like starting to write fan fiction somehow puts things into perspective and suddenly im overthinking my naivety and anxiety wondering wtf am I supposed to do with my life?
like there's so much I want to do and I want to make something that lasts even when Im gone but like I'm really not good at anything? im just good at making y'all think that's it's actually good but it's not. and I like my stem majors but I also hate it. i obsessed over early hs graduation and I did it but now I feel like im getting no where.
and then im out here wanting to write a book but knowing it'll flop, wanting to create music but knowing it'll be shit, wanting to act but knowing ppl will hate me. and it just feels like I wanna idk but at the same time not?
ugh the angst of wanting to be when in the same manner of wanting to fade
