#this opens something

I just finished watching an anime she told me to watch: Charlotte.

The anime ends with the main character changing the world and eliminating a disease. His love back in Japan told him they’d be lovers if he eliminated the last of the disease. The main character has worked so hard, changed so many lives, and the disease affected his mental state. Long story short he slowly forgets his promise and is just blindly caught up with working to fight the disease. He loses his memories slowly because of the disease affects him too. He finishes the job, but is lost now, not remembering his lover, why he’s doing this in the first place, and wondering where is home. In the end his friends help him find a way back at home. A small trinket from her gave him memory closure and everything settled it in for him.

She was cleaning up with her family after finishing up working. I stood outside the complex looking at the twilight city. I thought to myself will I ever forget my promises I made to her? Will I just be so caught up in just doing the motions that I forgot why I’m doing what I’m doing? I love her so much, I mean how could I forget? I work really hard for us. I do a lot of things for us. I am patient and kind for us. I am understanding for us. I smiled to myself, and thought how impossible that could be.

Her hands wrapped around my body and her head nuzzled into my shoulder. The beat of her heart whispered into my lungs, and I breathed out a happy sigh. The warmth of sky dissolved into a beautiful technicolor obsidian. I’ve never felt more safe. I thank every day for her reminding me that I shouldn’t worry.

Later in the night her and I were in our usual sanctuary in the car away from the cold. Our hands were gripped tight and she leaned in to hold my arm. Never in my life have I been given this much affection. I love the way she spills and overflows her physical affection on me. No way at all do I feel its too clingy, boy-crazy, or attached. I absolutely love it; low-key I think I need it.

“Julien, I really freaking missed you”  Her voice ended in quivering pain. I missed her too-- a lot. I need this, all of this. All of this simple love right here. This to me is heaven and it is way more than enough.

“I’ve really missed you too, I wish I could do more”  I don’t have a lot, I never had, and a lot of people left me for it. Sincerely, I can trust her when she says my love and my commitment is way more than enough.

“Are you fucking kidding me. You do so much” She held tighter. I loved that she was defending me from my insecurities. She wasn’t fired up at me at all, she was heated toward my anxiety monster she fought away.

I showed her the chain with my 7 keys hung from the belt loop on my my pants. Each one I flipped had a story which I briefly went over. On the 6th key I held in my hand blasted me into a memory.

A bunch of kids who couldn’t control their emotions. These kids were easily loved. Girls swooned over the boys, and guys flocked toward the girls. These kids were charming, easy to talk to, and very fun. These kids couldn’t just stick to one love. They were searching for a love, but not in the way you think. If they felt their match wasn’t fit they’d leave within the first month. Their method of finding true love is questionable, but its fair I suppose. They called themselves “Heart Breaker Kids” or HBK.

A unique ritual that some of these kids would go through before they graduate themselves are as followed: Their prized position would be given to their lover. Rule 1: If you’ve fallen in love, you give your prized position. Rule 2: If your love for them dies, they keep your position and you never talk to them again. Rule 3: If their love dies, they give your prized position back, and you CAN NOT have an emotional attachment again unless he/she is the one you marry. 

 HBK’s School for Emotional Discipline.

I woke up from this memory by a light coming from her family’s car coming up the driveway. I flipped past that key which was locked to that memory. I gripped in my hand the Seventh Key that had no significance to me but an impulse buy. Thekey was a beautiful bronze with a pronounced shape and a clock at the handle. I loved this key a lot because it symbolized to me that time can not be stopped even if you had the key. 

I love her so much. I know I would never forget why I want to lover her for the rest of my life. I want to put in this work, backed up by love, I want to put in my 110%, backed up by love, and I would do my best to fight any disease out there for her. But I wish for us to never forget why we love each other,

I unchained the 7th key.

“Babe, no. NO. No no no. You love your keys”  She pleaded with her heart and soul. But I held it in my hand, opened up her palm, and made her fingers intertwine the soul of this key. I never want her to lose sight why we endured our hurdles, present obstacles, and all our future troubles ahead of us. Life has been rough for us, but its getting even tougher... so we need to be strong.

“And I love you” I must’ve have been pretty desperate to want her to never forget our goal for our relationship, because I squeezed that key between our palms as we held hands and made a silent prayer that nothing will split us apart. I pray for us to never grow blind of our love. I love her so much, and I’ve never had the opportunity to be treated so well. I’ve never been blessed with this drive to love someone unconditionally.

Besides... I had my prize position returned. This is my last stop.

I finally gave that key a soul, and also a necklace rope to hang from. She wore it so happily around her neck while she hopped around the house. Her fiery hair danced in every jump; she’s my bunny for sure. I’m such a softie, I had tears in my eyes without her looking; its becoming a good skill. I’m incredibly happy with her...

I hope that key allows me to enter her heart to make her feel the same way that I do as well. Lately we’ve been going through life strains and family strains and things have been harder on us, but we need to not forget that we have each other and love each other as we focus on work, finance, family, and God. Those are obligations but they can also make us forget and ask “why do we love each other again”? But, I have no fear in that, what her and I have is real.

This key can be your trinket, and our story to never forget. And if you ever forget, I’ll never stop trying to jump your memory back until your heart comes home to me.

This key has to open up something, right?