First of all are the horrid retcons like trying to crowbar in this stupid backstory for Iduna for no reason. I’m sorry but if she was from some magical forest then WHY IN THE WORLD did they go to the trolls to find out anything about Elsa? Clearly Agnarr and Iduna didn’t know anything magical which is why they struggled to handle Elsa’s powers in the first movie. But now we’re supposed to believe Iduna was from a magical forest? This is such a cheap attempt to create a new plot when there was already a plot thread hanging from the first one. Hans and the Southern Isles.

Hans was very interesting but we didn’t get to spend much time on his backstory or what made him turn out like he did so that would be the logical plot thread to follow up on. Also we’ve only gotten tiny glimpses of the Southern Isles from the first movie and the shorts so actually exploring that is prime for more story. Also what is up with Hans? What’s he doing? The last we saw of him he was shoveling manure in the Frozen Fever short (which had more Hans in it than Frozen 2). Hans was a major character from the first movie so why is he entirely absent from the sequel? Cause he was a bad guy? He was a very interesting bad guy so that is prime to explore.

And then the real thing that ruins everything if the other major points weren’t enough. The ending splits Anna and Elsa and then shoves Anna into the role of Queen for... some reason. Elsa runs off... despite her ENTIRE character being about Anna. Anna is the only family Elsa has left and the writers had the genius idea to force in a half baked at best reason to force Elsa away from her family. Frozen, Frozen Fever, and Olaf’s Frozen Adventure all focus very heavily on the relationship between Elsa and Anna and why it’s so important. Elsa in Frozen Fever was shown to be borderline overcompensating for the time she didn’t spend with Anna when they were younger cause she cares so much about her. Now she’ll just leave? Were they desperate to make Anna Queen of Arendelle? What’s the point of that? Why would you even want to make her Queen after all the time spent on Elsa being the Queen? And they accomplish this by destroying what the foundation of the franchise is built upon which is the relationship between Anna and Elsa.

it’s cringe at best. the fact of the matter is that barbara gordon, founded the birds of prey after she was shot in the back by the joker. babs as oracle is super important, like this was a woman who was disabled by a psychopath in an attempt to torture her father, to show batman that all men could be pushed to insanity. yet she didn’t let that stop her, she didn’t let what the joker did, what he cost her which was her legs… stop her from being the hero she was. she founded the birds of prey and worked behind the scenes as oracle, because babs true superpower is her brain. let’s not even talk about the fact that her friendship with dinah lance is one of the best dynamics out there. like i’m all for harleen getting her independence like it’s 2019 we don’t need harley x joker. but harley has the gotham city sirens for that. they did not need to take material that didn’t belong to her. 

but dc let her because harleen is popular and they need to be relevant in the film industry somehow considering that everything but wonder woman, aquaman and shazam! is a total flop. LIKE i do not understand… the look of the film is CRINGE as fuck too. it’s so tacky, and the promos… i’m so over clowns like stfu lmao. THE BIRDS OF PREY DESERVED A FILM WHERE THEY WERE FRONT AND CENTER. this is an all female lead superhero team and they give it to THAT? like to add insult to injury… harleen was a willing participant in the death of jason todd who was like a brother to babs and an important member of the batfam… but like yeah sure let’s give the clown her team. 

So I gave my girlfriend a running commentary of The Mummy (2017) because it was on TV tonight. Thought you would like to hear some highlights of the shit I had to endure, and forced her to endure.

Me: I’m currently watching The Mummy (the one with Tom Cruise) and all I can think is “DRINK THE MUMMY JUICE!!!” GF: Why would you do that to yourself?

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Me: And Tom just had a hallucination about being swarmed by shitty CGI rats while a CGI mummy gallops towards him like some mummified orangutan. Amazing. I think he did drink the mummy juice... GF: Why? Why? This is not needed.

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Me: And apparently he’s been teleported to a church. GF: Why?!?!?! Me: Apparently so the mummy can stick her fingers in his mouth and boarderline molest him? And now they are running... And Tom almost left the girl character behind. At least they took the magic dagger with them. GF: Please end this Me: And Tom drove around in a circle back to the mummy. And now they are having an ambulance fight. And they crashed. The mummy is still after Tom for some reason. HOW THE FUCK IS HE STILL ALIVE?! THE MEN IN BLACK JUST TRANQUILIZED THE MUMMY?! ASFSAFYFYFAF????!!!! I AM SCREAMING! GF: :/ No wonder the movie flopped. Venom was a shitty movie bit at least it’s enjoyable. Me: And... they tranquilized Tom too. Maybe I shall be released from this hell? GF: I hope so. Me: NOPE!!! ASSHOLE IS STILL ALIVE!!! But in a straight jacket.

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Me: And they haven’t killed the mummy yet... Just chained her up. They are so fucking stupid. GF: *Insert this is fine Gif* Me: THEY ARE EMBALMING HER?! SO THEY CAN DISSECT HER?! GF: YOU CAN’T EMBALM HER SHE IS ALREADY EMBALMED!!!

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