#this is that.

It's been one year, four years, six years since my life has been changed. I've become a new person each time. There are parts of me, not small, that wonder what would've happened had my life not been changed. Where would I be? Who would I be? Is there some place where I am happier than I am now? Is it the worry about that place the reason I feel the way I do.

I have so much filling my thoughts that I'm sometimes unsure what actually makes sense and what I'm convincing myself is logical. Have I feigned happiness for so long that I can no longer tell if I am actually happy or not? Is that a victory on my part?

I don't know what to do. There are daily decisions I make and I wonder so often if I'm making the right ones.

I feel sick. I feel things I shouldn't feel and I'm never sure whether to act on them or not.

Then I consider that all this decision making effects other people, and I feel dizzy. If I can't be sure if a choice I made or am making is right for me, how the fresh fuck am I supposed to take into account other's feelings?

I need to simplify but I don't know what does that. Keeping the old? Embracing the new? Is there a way to do both without complexity?

That Tyler The Creator... I'm picking up what he's putting down.