I listen to love songs a lot but I donāt think Iāve ever felt romantic love before. Everyone my age has a boyfriend and I donāt understand why. Youāre in high school, why do you want to spend weeks obsessing over a guy that you most likely donāt feel genuine feelings for? Iāve found people attractive before but Iāve never gotten that feeling that people describe as love, just because I find someone attractive doesnāt mean I want to be in a relationship with them. Same goes for sex. Iāve had a few friends try to set me up with guys for a hookup and I ghost them every time. This is a personal preference, but why in the world would you give yourself away so easily? Sex is supposed to mean something, itās not something you should toss over to a guy for a few hours. I donāt like the idea of anyone viewing me like that. You donāt know me, you shouldnāt have the privilege of imagining me like that. Any time I have had a guy be āinterestedā in me, I have felt disgusted with myself and them. I donāt understand anyone who has asked me for my number or asked me on a date, you donāt know anything about me, you just see my looks. You want my body, not me. I wish I could exist without being here, if that makes sense
Iād be a terrible girlfriend too, I know I would. I donāt treat anyone right, I isolate myself to the point where I only talk to my close family members, and I donāt even talk to them much. Iām better off alone, I always have been, all I cause is pain to anyone I talk to. Iām not a nice person, nobody deserves that. I wonāt love you correctly, Iāll ruin your perception of love
Nobody knows me because I donāt let them see










