The early morning haze was interrupted by the glow of a neon “open” sign affixed to the window of the only permanent building near the bus stop shelter.  This building never stood out to you, it was always quiet and dark when you got on and off the bus.  Every morning and every evening, without fail whoever owned the building got there after you and left before you.  The smell of spices wafted out of the door and almost made you stop before you realized this all meant that you were even later than you thought you were.  The bus you usually take was long gone by now and you didn’t even know the schedule well enough to know when the next one would arrive.  

Sighing, you accepted your fate and moved toward the shelter and squatted in front of where the stray cats always play.  A small orange kitten was playing with the weeds growing out from the cracks in the sidewalk.  You reached out to pet him, and as soon as his attention settled on you, he flopped to the side and tried to playfully bite your fingers as you wiggled them. 

You heard the bus approach the kitten trotted away toward the restaurant.  Once settled in your seat on the bus you check your watch, 7:45 am and still another 15 minute bus ride to work.  You sigh and prepare yourself for the reprimand you will surely get once you arrive.      

“You’re late.”

“I know, I’m so sorry, Ms. Lee,” you bowed your head apologetically, “I missed the first bus…I had to wait for the next one.”  Ms. Lee, the head nurse of your unit, swiveled around in her chair.  

“Well, you could have called,” she gestured to the phone at the nurse’s station, “Eunbi had to stay after her night shift to cover for you.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Just don’t let it happen again,” she stood up from her chair, “Get changed,” she began to walk away and turned back to you briefly, “Oh, and Y/N?” You nodded, “I’m sure you won’t mind staying late tonight to even out the shifts for Eunbi, hm?” 

“Of course not,” you muttered, a certain dread settled in your stomach as you walked to the nurse’s changing room.  By staying late tonight you will run into the same problem you had this morning.  You don’t know the next bus after your usual one.  You shuffled into the room and caught sight of Eunbi slipping into her coat.  

“Good morning, Y/N!” She smiled at you.  

“Eunbi, I’m so sorry for making you stay late!” You slumped against your locker, “it was a total accident I missed my bus and-”

“Woah!” She laughed and reached out to smooth her hands over your arms.  “It’s totally okay, it happens, you’ve covered for me before.”  

“It’s just that…Ms. Lee,” you started.

“She’s a crotchety old bat,” she rolled her eyes.  “We all think so, no one else here is mad at you.”

“Thank you,” you let go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding in, “but I’m still covering the first 45 minutes of your shift tonight, don’t try to tell me no.”   

“Alright, alright, see you at shift change.” She smiled and squeezed your arms before leaving you alone in the quiet room.   After changing as quickly as possible you made your way back to the nurse’s station to catch up on what you missed.  

“Mr. Kang in 304 has been looking for you all morning,” Ms. Lee informed you as she pushed his file into your hand, “he will only take his medication from you if you could help him right away.” 

Your knock on the door of room 304 echoed down the hallway.  It was still early so the quiet of a hospital before a day begins was generally still intact.  You pushed through the door to see Mr. Kang propped up on his pillows, smiling at you.  

Mr. Kang has been in your care since you started at this hospital a few months ago.  You work in the long term care unit, so it isn’t uncommon for patients to form attachments to nurses here.  He was an old man, probably old enough to be your grandpa, who became a widower years ago.  A week or so before you started here he had a terrible fall at home, breaking his hip.  

“Good morning Mr. Kang!” You mustered a smile.

“Good morning, Y/N.” He smiled softly and attempted to sit up straighter.  You moved to his side quickly to help him with the pillows.  

“So,” you sat in the chair near his bed when he was settled, “I hear you aren’t taking your pills from  Ms. Lee or Eunbi?”

“Is that what Ms. Lee said?” He chuckled, “it’s not that I won't, it's just that I’m used to it being you in the morning, and when it’s not, I have trouble.”  

“Be that as it may, you still need your medication, Mr. Kang.” You informed him before moving to retrieve the medication.

“It’s a bit late now,” he started, you sighed thinking he was going to try and get out of taking the medication, “but could you take me to the big windows to watch the rest of the sunrise?” 

“Tell you what,” you begin to divide the pills into small cups, “take your pills, no complaints, and I’ll take you.” Mr. Kang eagerly agreed.  You helped him into his wheelchair and the two of you made the short trek to the back of the wing where the big windows were.  

Mr. Kang told you about how he and his wife used to watch the sunset every Saturday morning while they ate breakfast together.  These mornings were the highlight of his week, he was so happy to just have moments with his wife where time didn’t matter, just the two of them.  Every time he tells you this story, or something similar about his wife, you are struck with the fact that you never have the time to do anything like this. Since graduating nursing school your life has been scheduled out to the minute.  This morning at the bus stop was the first time in months that you felt the urge to go against that schedule.    

“It’s going to snow soon,” Mr. Kang pulled you out of your thoughts. He pointed a crooked finger at the dark clouds overhead.  “Be careful going home tonight, I remember how unreliable those buses can be.”   

The cold winter air stung your cheeks and whipped your hair.  Mr. Kang was right, it would snow today, the day you had to stay late and miss your bus.  Because of the weather the buses weren’t running on schedule, you waited for almost an hour at the bus stop and no one ever came.  You had to walk home.  

The snow swirled around you and made it difficult to see, you knew that you were almost home, or at least, it felt that way.  You were soaked and freezing to the bone, you’d be lucky if you woke up with just a cold tomorrow.  Just as the shelter of your bus stop was starting to materialize through the snow you felt your foot catch the curb in front of you. You attempted to catch yourself but there was no use, you were falling. When you open your eyes to assess the situation you realize you fell into an alleyway and were lying on the ground staring up at a few trash cans.     

Just as you decided that maybe you should just lay here and die, you hear the door of the building to your left open.  A man is yelling in a language you don’t understand, is he yelling at you? Before you had any time to think about that you felt a hand on the back of your coat, pulling you up off the ground.  

“Oh,” the man blinked down at you, “it’s you.” With that he pulled you inside.  He placed you in a corner near the front door.  “Stay there.” He instructed you and held his hands out as if he was taming a wild animal.  He backed away from you slowly for several steps then turned on his heel and ran into a back room.  You heard him rifling through things for several minutes.  

Beyond that the only sounds in the small room were the dripping of melted snow off your coat and on to the floor.  You took in your surroundings, slowly dethawing.  The room was actually a small restaurant, with tables crammed into the small space. The room the man disappeared into was near the kitchen, judging by the location of the window behind the counter.  

“You must be freezing,” he emerged from the room with a stack of clothes, “why didn’t you take the bus in this weather?” He was scolding you like you were best friends for years.  

“I’m sorry? Do we know each other?” 

“No, not really,” he blinked at you.  

“Then…” you searched his face.  

“You get on the bus when I get off,” he stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “and in the evenings, you get off the bus when I get on.”  He held the clothes out to you again, as if to remind you why you’re in his restaurant.  “You’re dripping on my floor.” He mumbled.  

“Oh!” You gasped and began searching for a place to hang your coat. He placed the stack of clothes on a nearby table and helped you out of your coat.  

“Take them,” he gestured to the clothes with his elbow, “the bathroom is back near the kitchen, change and warm up.” You nodded at the strange man’s kindness and headed to the bathroom to change.  

You peeled your wet clothes away from your skin, grateful to be rid of them.  In the kitchen you heard pots and pans clanging and soon there was a spicy aroma engulfing the entire building.  Once you were ready you walked back into the main dining area.  The clothes he lent you were far too big for you, the sweatpants were dragging on the floor and you felt like you were swimming in the oversized hoodie, but you were thankful to be warm.  

“Have a seat anywhere!” He called through the window from the kitchen, “it’s almost ready!” You had no idea what he was making or why but you would be thankful for a warm meal after the day you had.  The chair scraped across the floor of the otherwise quiet restaurant.  Now that you could feel your toes you took another look around the space.  The neon sign that you remembered from this morning was turned off, and the windows had their blinds closed.  It was like the entire building was shut off from the outside world.  Seeing it this way from inside was strange, as it usually was buttoned up like this when you saw it waiting for the bus.  Which would make sense, you realized, if what he said was true, that you were on the opposite side of the bus schedule on a normal day.  

“I made soup,” he emerged from the kitchen carrying a tray with two bowls.  He sat the tray on the table in front of you and contemplated sitting down for a few seconds too long for someone who made two bowls, clearly for the both of you.  Finally, he plopped into the chair across from you and passed you a spoon. He moved one of the bowls from the tray so it was in front of him.  You watched as he took a large spoonful, blew on it lightly, and popped it into his mouth.  His eyes closed and he was obviously proud of the dish.  

Suddenly, his eyes snapped open and he stared at you.  “Do you like spice?” he asked around the soup in his mouth, sounding muffled and panicked.  You couldn’t help it, you burst out laughing.  His eyes grew wider than you had seen them all night and he swallowed his mouthful.  

“I’m so sorry,” you tried to control the giggling, “yes I’m fine with spice.  Is this spicy?” 

“Oh, yes,” he nodded enthusiastically, “it’s called Hulatang which literally means peppery and spicy soup.  It’ll clear your sinuses.”

“You didn’t poison it, right?” 

“What?” He looked at you bewildered.

“Well, you picked me up out of the trash,” you bring your spoon to your lips, “and I don’t even know your name.” You put the spoon in your mouth.  The flavor blossoms on your tongue.  

“Junhui” 

“Okay, Junhui.” You nod, “can I have a glass of water?”  He scrambled behind the counter to find a glass.  He returned quickly.  

“Is it too much?” He asked, sitting back down, “I handle spice well, so I can’t tell.”   

“No, no,” you sipped your water, “it’s good, so good.” He smiled and went back to his meal.  The two of you ate in silence until the bowls were empty and you felt warm from the spicy broth.  

“I thought you were a raccoon earlier.” He blurted out of the blue as he was clearing the dishes from the table. “The raccoons always get in my trash, I was surprised they would be out in this weather though.” He continued, “I do worry about the cats though…” 

“First snow of the year, and it’s brutal,” you agreed, “wait, you’re the one who feeds the cats!” You exclaim over the sound of the water turning on.  You follow him back to the kitchen so you wouldn’t have to yell.  

“Yeah?” He doesn’t look up from his task, “if I didn’t, who would?” He moved the pot he used to make the soup into the sink.  You smiled to yourself, remembering the kitten you played with this morning.  

“How long have you been feeding them?” You asked, helping him move glasses from the side into the sink.  He smiled at you.  

“Since I started renting this building,” he thought for a moment, “Almost three years ago.” 

“That long?” You gasped, “I’ve only been living in my apartment near here for a few months.  I just graduated nursing school and I got a job at the hospital.” 

“Oh I live near there,” he nodded, knowing exactly where you were talking about, “we live near each other’s work places.” He pointed out.  

“Suppose we do,” you smiled.  

“What’s your name?” He asked, turning off the sink.  

“Oh my God,” you blushed realizing you never told him, “Y/N.” 

“Y/N.” He repeated softly as if tasting the new information on his tongue.     

It has been four days since you met Junhui at his restaurant.  You made sure to look for him while getting on and off the bus.  He always smiled at you, no time to talk so smiles do just fine.  You never did get the chance to ask him why he was still out that night.  

You rolled over in bed and checked your phone.  It was 10:40 am on your day off and you couldn’t stop thinking about the man who runs the restaurant down the street.  It would be lunch time soon, maybe you could convince yourself to make the short trip over.  To eat, certainly not to see him again.  

Without a second thought you were out of bed and fixing your hair in the mirror.  Once satisfied with how you looked, you threw on your coat and went out the door.  The walk to your bus stop is short and relatively easy.  The weather today was much nicer than the last time you found yourself inside Junhui’s restaurant.  

The bell above the door twinkled at your entrance.  You shifted awkwardly at the entrance of the building as the only other patron shot you curious glances.  

“One moment!” You heard Junhui call from the kitchen.  Soon, he appeared from the kitchen holding a tray similar to the one he brought your soup on a few days prior. He stumbled and almost dropped the tray when he saw you in the doorway. The other man in the room laughed and said something teasingly in a language you didn’t understand. Junhui glared at the man and then glanced back at you.  “Y/N, do you speak Mandarin?”  As soon as you confirmed that, no you do not, Junhui was uttering what you could only assume were curses at the other man.  He set the plates of food on the table. “You can have a seat wherever you like, I’ll be right with you!” He smiled at you.  

You selected a table near the kitchen, the other man was at a table near the only window in the building.  The two of them continued to bicker in Mandarin for a few minutes.  You smiled to yourself, Junhui seemed close with him.  Eventually, he broke away, and made his way to your table.  

“Hi,” you smiled at him.  

“Hi,” his lips broke into a small smile, “I’m sorry about him, he’s my best friend, we’ve known each other for ages.” 

“No worries,” you assured him.  

“What can I get you?” He bounced awkwardly on the balls of his feet.  He looked less tired today, his eyes were bright and his dark hair was tucked up into a beanie.  You eyed the menu he still had tucked under his arm.  “Oh!” He scrambled to grab it and all but threw it down on the table in front of you. 

“Any recommendations?” You asked, scanning the menu full of dishes. He took a deep breath and sat down across from you.  He started in on an explanation of the menu.  You struggled to listen to everything he had to say because you were busy admiring him.  He was so passionate about his recipes and the food he got to make. 

“This one is my grandma’s recipe,” he pointed to an item on the menu and looked up at you with expectant eyes. “It’s ground pork and egg basically.” 

“Oh yes, that sounds lovely,” you smile at him.  “Tell me how to pronounce it so I can ask for it by name next time.”

“Xiándàn zhēng ròubǐng,” he collects the menu and practically skips back to the kitchen with the promise of you coming back again.  You watched him go until he disappeared then you pulled out your phone to pass the time.  

“I’m Minghao by the way,” you looked up to see Junhui’s friend standing in front of you.  “I’ve heard a lot about you, I hope you keep coming around to keep him company.” He smiled at you before shouting Junhui’s name and telling him something in Mandarin.  Junhui responded from the back and with that Minghao knocked twice on your table and turned to leave.

About ten minutes later, Junhui reemerged to clear Minghao’s table. He began clearing it of the dishes left behind.  

“Did he bother you?” He asked as he passed your table with dishes stacked in his hands.  

“Oh, no!” You assured him, “he just introduced himself.” You conveniently omitted the part about Minghao letting you know that Junhui had been talking about you.  

“Oh, good,” he nodded, “your meal should be ready in about ten minutes, I’ll be back then.”      

As promised he returned with the food you ordered and a glass of water.  He set the food on the table and sat in the chair across from you.  “Taste,” he told you, he could hardly contain the giddiness he felt.  It was bubbling in his chest and he bounced his knee under the table to expel some of the extra energy he felt.  

“Have you eaten?” You asked, picking up your spoon.  

“Hm?” He blinked, “oh, no, not yet.” 

“Get a spoon,” you pointed toward the counter, “we’ll share.” He smiled widely at you and quickly retrieved a spoon.  The two of you split the meal, getting to know each other as you ate.  You told him all about your job at the hospital and your trouble with Ms. Lee.  Junhui made a disapproving noise when you told him about what happened on the day you showed up in his trash. 

“She sounds horrible,” he mumbled around a mouthful of rice.  

“She is!” You threw your hands up, “we all think so, even Eunbi, who is the nicest person there.” 

In turn Junhui told you about how he ended up owning a restaurant at a bus stop thousands of miles from where he was raised.  He was feeling stuck in the monotony of his job, which he found extremely boring, in China.  So he set out to find something new and he ended up here. He tried finding a job but ultimately decided to open up this restaurant which is like a tiny slice of home for him.

The bell above the door rang out, ultimately stopping your conversation.  Junhui looked up at the customer now standing in his restaurant.  He shot you an apologetic look, to which you shook your head and shooed him away so he could take care of the woman.  

He greeted her as you began to stack the dishes up for him.  You gave a small wave as he was getting her seated.  He glanced at you and held up a finger, as if to ask you to hold on for a moment.  After the woman is settled in he jogs back to the room near the kitchen and comes back with his phone clutched in his hand.  

“Not to be weird,” he smiled sheepishly, “but could I maybe get your number? I’d like to continue talking to you.”           

Over the last week Junhui texted you a few times, mostly to send pictures of the cats.  Every so often the two of you would update each other on how things are going.  On one occasion Junhui requested you come retrieve leftovers from him on your day off so you had lunch for the following day.

You placed said leftovers in the microwave of the staff lounge, you felt your phone buzz in the pocket of your scrubs as you set the time.  You were taking lunch later than usual today so you figured it was Junhui checking in on how the food reheated after he finished up the lunch rush.  The screen lit up with text messages and notifications as you pulled it out.  

Junhui: today sux 

Junhui: this guy just came in DURING A RUSH and screamed at me that there wasn’t a table

Junhui: i hope the congee tasted okay reheated 

Junhui: can’t talk more. people are the worst!! 😾

The microwave beeps, making you jump.  You opened the door and sighed, you knew that there were bound to be days where things got to be too much for him.  You were no stranger to bad days, even when you’re passionate about what you were doing.  It was one of those days when you met Junhui, you knew how he felt.

As soon as your shift was over you were flying out the door.  You wanted to make it to the convenience store on the corner before your bus came.  Your left shoe felt like it was coming untied but you didn’t stop to check, no time.  Filling your arms with jelly snacks, ramen, and a few drinks you made your way to the checkout.  

You made it to the bus stop with your haul as the bus was arriving.  Letting out a sigh of relief you paid your fare and found a spot to sit.   Feeling a buzz in your pocket you pull out your phone once more. 

Junhui: if i see another person today i might lose it 

Junhui: [Attachment: 1 Image]

You smiled at the picture, it was taken from the window of Junhui’s restaurant.  The neon sign is shut off and the blinds are drawn already.  Perfect, this meant that he was more than likely waiting for the bus already.  You could just grab him and drag him back inside.

Junhui was not at the bus stop.  You walk to the front door and turn the knob, it was unlocked.  His forehead was resting on the counter, he looked silly hunched over it like that.  He let out an annoyed groan hearing the bell above the door.  

“I’m closed,” he mumbled against the counter.  When he didn’t hear you leave he snapped his head up, “I said I–oh, hi.” His tone softened immediately when he saw you standing there with a plastic sack held out in front of you.  

“Hi,” you hazarded a few steps toward him, “is it safe? Or are you gonna bite my head off?” 

“I’m sorry,” he chuckled airily, “it has been…a day.” 

“I know,” you nodded, “I come bearing gifts.” You hold up the sack again, as a peace offering.  He held out his hands, looking slightly childlike.        

“Show me the haul.” The two of you go through the small store bought feast in the bag.  Once he saw the cup ramen at the bottom he trotted to the kitchen to put some water on the stove to boil.  

You set aside two sets of chopsticks as Junhui plopped the noodles into the pot.  He told you all about the people he saw today and about while he was grateful for the business some people could just be so draining.  You agreed, you loved your job but some patients were just too much to handle at times.

You watched as he tore open the flavoring packets with his teeth.  He sprinkled it over the noodles in the pot, but you were still fixated on his full lips.  You know that Junhui is handsome, it’s hard to miss.  But should you have been staring so intently? Probably not, right?  

That was what you thought until he turned and held your gaze for several moments.  He seemed to be just as frozen as you were, his eyes flicked to your lips and for a second you swore he was going to kiss you.  

“Ramen’s done,” he said, barely above a whisper.   

The day had been uneventful.  Your job was monotonous and boring, and to make matters worse you hadn’t heard from Junhui in several days.  You still saw him smiling at you from the bus stop but he seemed like he had been avoiding having a real conversation with you since that day you thought he might kiss you.  

You watched the city speed by out the window of the bus and wondered if you had done something wrong.  Did you read him wrong? Maybe he didn’t like you at all, you’re just some weird person that showed up in his trash one day.  That day wasn’t all that different from today, it was snowing again.  You were surprised that there was this much time between the first and second snow this year.  

Your fingers wrapped around the cord as you alerted the driver that your stop was up next.  You gathered your things and prepared for the cold walk from your stop to your apartment.  Junhui was standing in front of the bus stop shelter, you knew it was him by his height and the way he shrank into himself to look at his phone.  The blue light caught his features in a way that made him look almost dreamlike.  The brakes on the bus squealed to a stop, making him look up from his phone.   

You expected him to brush you off with a smile, just as he had every day for the last week.  However, he just stood there, waiting, until the moment your feet hit the ground in front of him.  

“Happy second snow!” He beamed at you.  You smiled up at him, just happy that he was talking to you.  “I’m sorry about the other day.” 

“For what?” The bus stop was clearing out quickly, no one was worried about whatever reconciliation was happening between the two of you.  

“I didn’t kiss you when I should have.” He stated plainly as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He moved closer to you and cupped your cold cheeks in his warm hands.  Soon his mouth was on yours and you felt so warm that it could easily have been summer.  He somehow made all of the ice melt away and it was just the two of you in the world for this moment.  You wrapped your arms around his waist in an effort to bring him closer.  

He broke away from you and searched your face, “Date me?” He breathed.  

“Date you?” You whispered, your breath turning into fog that he breathed in as he connected your lips to his once again.  This kiss was more urgent, like he was trying to convince you to say yes.  

“Yes, me.” He mumbled against your mouth, “please?” 

“Like right now?” You reach up to kiss him again.  He hummed into your kiss.  

“Like right now, tomorrow, for the rest of your life if you’ll have me,” he swept his tongue across your bottom lip, which made you shiver.  You accept his tongue into your mouth for only a second before he breaks away again.  “Was that too forward? I just really like you.” 

“No, it was cute.”  You assure him.  A blush crept across his cheeks, already pink from the cold. 

“Cool,” he grinned, “So?” 

“Oh sure,” you rolled your eyes, “but could we maybe date inside, I’m getting cold.” He grabbed your hand and tangled his fingers with yours.  He began to drag you back toward the restaurant where this all started.  

Yes, months. How you were still able to simply look past all this dicks faults when he had already told you he would change for the, what felt like millionth time, and every single time it left you more disappointed than the last time. And every single time it was Seungkwan, who had picked up the pieces after he was met with teary eyes, hunched over shoulder and the expression of a kicked puppy that had his heart skip a beat upon you entering your shared apartment after another failed night with Nick.

Oh, how Seungkwan learned to hate that name. Just the mention of it made him feel livid enough to want to punch a hole into his rooms wall and yet he would wait for you to come home time and time again with your favorite fuzzy blanket, your favorite cup; a bag of your favorite tea already waiting to be poured over with boiling water, a tub of ice cream equipped with two gigantic spoons and open arms for you to fall into when you needed him to just listen to your angry huffs that, in his humble opinion made you look more like an angry teddy bear then a real threat to society.

Not once had he send you away when you were faced with yet another disappointing night in which your boyfriend had either failed to give you more attention than his phone, flirted with anything that wasn´t sitting in a tree at the count of three while you were sitting right beside him and not bother showing up at all. And even when he hated how the result always seemed to be the same, Seungkwan would rather burn in hell then stop being the person you came to after your failed nights with Nick.

Even if it ripped his heart to shreds to witness you running back to a man that was so clearly not interested in what you had to offer. A man that didn´t see the love, the care, the kindness and so many more things you were willing to give in a relationship. A man, who was evidently not him.

Even then he would wait for you.

“Just this last time Boo. It´s Valentine ’s Day after all and I want to see if at least tonight, Nick can follow through with his promises. If he does, then fine I’m willing to give him another chance but if not, he can finally go to hell.” You sighed and applied one last layer of lip-gloss before smacking your lips together with a pop.

Seungkwan pursed his lips, already having a feeling that this night was not going to be different to all the other times.

“How do I look?” Turning around to face your friend and roommate you tilted your head to the side with a questioning look on your face.

Many words were burning on the tip of his tongue to be said.

Beautiful, ravishing, gorgeous, stunning, angelic and so many more clouded his mind and yet he only settled for a simple, “Good.”

You rolled your eyes at his blunt answer but you also knew that Seungkwan meant it when he said so. He was no liar, at least he had never lied to you about anything and you trusted your judgment and gut maybe a little more then you should. After all, your gut had also once told you what a great guy Nick was.

Seungkwan watched you get up and grab your purse from your desk.

“Do you know when you´ll be home again?”

His question was met with a shrug. “Depends on how the night will go really. I could be back in an hour, late at night or tomorrow morning. Honestly at this point can´t say I expect much.”

‘Then don´t go!’ was what he wanted to say but stayed silent. It was no use. He knew how stubborn you could be and that if you put your mind to something the chance of him getting you to change your mind was slim to nonexistent. And so he sends you out the door with a wave.

His own plans were rather simple. Without a date and no real desire to leave the coziness of your shared home, Seungkwan preferred the quietness of a night in. His companion for the night? Left over Jajangmyeon that was still in the fridge, Netflix and maybe, if he was lucky enough he would find the Soju you had hidden somewhere in the apartment.

The plans were quite sad if you remembered that today was Valentine’s Day but that was nothing that really bothered him. Sure, his friends had teased him mercilessly for not asking out the girl that served him his coffee every morning before he went to work with an extra sweet bat of her eyes but Seungkwan could not remember a day on which he had even once indulged her flirtations. So yes, his plans were boring and Seungkwan was absolutely fine with that.

One movie turned into two and just when he thought his night would be spent alone, he could hear the beeping sound of the entrance code be punched into the lock system before the door opened and you entered the apartment on soft soles. How you managed to do that in the heels you were wearing Seungkwan had no clue.

The man turned his head to catch your eyes and the slightly amused smile was immediately whipped from his face; the “I told you so.” That had been waiting to be said suddenly stuck in his throat.

Fresh tear tracks were glistening on the apple of your cheeks, make up smudged and your eyes still watery like you had stopped crying just a few moments ago.

You dropped your purse carelessly on the floor, kicked the heels away and trudged over to where your roommate was waiting with his arm held out so you could take his hand; pulling you down and into his side where you buried your face into the soft material of his shirt.

Seungkwan didn´t mind the mascara which would no doubt stain the fabric. He´d just wash the shirt the next day when he did his laundry either way.

“Don´t you want to tell me that you told me so and that I’m dumb for thinking tonight could be any different?” your words were muffled by the fabric but could be heard well enough and while the words had undoubtedly something he was going to say, he also felt quite bad that he even had the chance to say them. He had hoped that for once you didn´t come home downtrodden and that for once Nick had gotten his shit together.

“No, I’m just sorry that it happened again. What was it this time? You were out for quite some time?” Seungkwan comforted gently, fingers tracing over the back of your neck where your hair exposed the skin.

“It was fine. Nick was punctual, nice and paid attention and I thought, wow! He really surprised me there. And then when we were about the order dessert suddenly this girl stood at our table. Causing a scene and yelling about what an ass he was and if I’m the bitch he replaced her with as if, and I quote, “He hadn´t spend the last 6 months fucking her every weekend!” Kwan he didn´t cheat on me. I was the he cheated with! It was so humiliating.”

Two things were on his mind hearing this. One, the urge to drive over to Nicks place and punch the lights out of him. And two, tell him what an utter fool he was for treating you like a toy that could be put on the shelf until he wanted to play again.

“I feel so dumb. How did I not see this? How did I honestly thing he was worth giving him so many chance when all Nick did was treat me like dirt?” you twisted your head a bit to glance up at Seungkwan`s face through your lashes.

Pushing back the urge to bend down and press his mouth to the slight pout of your lips, Seungkwan shook his head.

“Don´t say that, you´re not dumb! You were just… in love…” he choked out his last words like they were poison in his mouth.

Somehow his words shook something inside you.

Were you really in love with Nick? Was that really what it was? Or was it you holding onto someone because you didn´t want to be alone anymore?

“Maybe…” you sighed just to turn your head back into your roommate, arms thrown around his mid section.

The TV filled the silence between you with mindless banter which went in over your head.

“You know what? We won´t let tonight end like this! Go to your room, wipe those tears away and wear something comfortable.” He nudged you a bit, words met with a grumble on your side.

“What why?” you questioned and refused to move.

Seungkwan nudged you again, this time harder and you let go to sit up and stare at him as he freed himself from the blanket thrown over his legs and lap to get up. Your arms fell a bit, hands reaching for your own to pull you up from the couch.

“You´ll see. Meet you here in 10.”

Confused but following his instruction you stumbled to your room. You got rid of the slightly too tight dress and opted for sweat pants and a hoodie you had stolen from Seungkwan some time ago. Well, stolen might not be the right word for this. Seungkwan knew very well where it was, he had seen you wearing it often enough and even put it on your bed again after having done his washing multiple times. Ignoring that half of your closet at this point consisted of his clothes.

“Are you ready?” Seungkwan called from the hallway and stuck his head through the door.

You nodded and slipped into your sneakers; Seungkwan handing you your jacket he had picked up from the living room floor.

“Then come on.”

The cold of a February night hit you in the face and you hooked your arm into the man`s by your side.

“Are you going to tell me where we are going?” you asked, still not sure what he was up to.

“Just walk with me. You´ll see.” He hummed and pulled you along with him. You realized that Seungkwan was not planning on telling you where you were going and so you decided to simply enjoy his company.

The night was cold and you were glad you had your jacket on because you were sure you wouldn´t have survived this walk if not.

You took in the neighborhood, walking past stores and restaurants you usually hurried past without paying them much mind when you either went to work or returned from it and only wanted to bury yourself in your bed. They looked cozy, like something you would love to check out sometime soon. Maybe Seungkwan could join you for that and only as you walked further did you realize where you went.

The sight of the water of the Han River rippling as wind brushed over it, on some place close to the shore even frozen from the drop in temperature opened itself and the lights of the city reflecting beautifully on the surface as you made your way to the park close to where you were.

Visiting this place was definitely something you should do more often. The sight was amazing and in midst of the buzzing city, it was a welcoming place of quietness that had something magically to offer. The light of the street posts lighting up the way, bathing it in a soft glow and giving Seungkwan a little halo over his dark brown hair with his muffs on his ears.

You watched his side profile as you walked together, and something inside your stomach stirred.

It wasn´t that you didn´t know Seungkwan was handsome, no you weren´t blind after all, you could see why he was constantly fawned over by your girlfriends or why when he was out men and women were turning their heads to look after him when passing by them. But never had it made you feel like you were a fool for not realizing just how beautiful he was when you looked closer like you did now.

His soft, slightly ruffled hair fell in gentle waves, strands framing his face like the frame of a portray, enhanced its impact. The puffy coat he was wearing almost swallowed him, making him appear much smaller then he actually was and like a giant teddy bear you wanted to hug as much as he would let you.

“You should just take a picture if you plan staring at me all night. It holds longer and you can take it anywhere you go, that way I’d always be with you.” He teased and winked at you.

You felt heat flush your cheeks at being caught in your staring.

“Sorry!” you squealed higher then you had intended and looked to the ground in shame. Seungkwan chuckled in amusement.

“It´s fine. I know I look amazing.”

You scoffed in mock offence and punched his shoulder with the hand not hooked around his arm. He dramatically pulled a face.

“You´re so mean! Punching me when all I’m trying to do is being a good friend!”

“You´re a little shit, is what you are!”

Seungkwan grabbed his heart, acting like he had just been shot in the chest. His theatrics made you laugh freely. It was the first time since you had left the restaurant a few hours ago in which you felt like you were where you were supposed to be.

“This? That smile you have right now? This suits you so much better than the tears from earlier.”

You let out a soft sigh, smile still painted onto your face. Seungkwan lifted his arm, brushing a lose lash away from your cheek as it clung to it. The warmth of his skin seeping into your bones, even if only for one tiny moment. Your heart sunk at the missing feeling just the smallest bit.

“I´m glad, I-” you began yet stopped when your eyes caught his. The lumps in your throat making it almost impossible to speak without sounding like you were going to cry again. Not because of Nick, no. All you were able to think about was Seungkwan.

Seungkwan who made you laugh every moment spend together. Seungkwan who cared more for his friends then for himself oftentimes. Seungkwan who had a soft spot for his baby bookkeu. Seungkwan who breathed smiles and energy and Seungkwan who managed to make your knees weak with the simplest of actions.

Waiting for you to continue Seungkwan looked at you with his hand tilted to the side.

“Thank you, for being here. For having my back…”

His eyes softened at this.

“You never need to thank me for that, y/n. You can always trust me to have your back when you need me. I´ll be there.”

His breath fanned over your cold skin, eyes flickering down to your mouth as nibbled on your lower lip.

“Boo I-“you whispered into the night when you felt his lips on your own. Gently moving against them like he was afraid you´d run away any second before pulling away. The touch was only fleeting. Barely a few seconds and yet you weren´t able to shake it from your mind!

Abrupt Seungkwan pulled back, taking two steps back and away from you. His wide panicked eyes looking anywhere but you and your heart dropped at his violent reaction.

“I´m sorry, I´m so sorry! I shouldn’t have- this shouldn´t have happened and I wasn´t supposed to-“

Quickly you reached out to hold his flailing hands still in yours.

“Seungkwan stop!” you called out hoping to break through his panic but it was unsuccessful. Avoiding looking at you and trying to get his hands out of your soft grip, he tucked them back with little to no force.

“Stop!” you yelled once more and the man froze.

“Stop.”

“But you-“

“I´m not mad.”

“Why not? You should be. I shouldn´t have kissed you, it was a mistake! A mistake that shouldn´t have happened because I CAN`T lose you!” he rambled more to himself than he was talking to you.

Giving him your best –Don´t bullshit me- face you stared at him. “Who, in the ever loving fuck told you that you could ever lose me?”

Seungkwan shook his head, devastation written all over his face.

“You don´t know that. Because if you knew you would run.”

“Try me.”

Staring at you like you had grown a second head Seungkwan stood there not knowing what to do with himself.

“Try me and see what will happen Boo. I bet you´d be surprised.”

He sighed loudly and looked to the ground. Not brave enough to see how your face would inevitably change to one of disgust and rejection.

“I love you y/n. I´ve done so for ages and those last few months have slowly been killing me inside! I- i hate Nick for treating you like you weren´t something to be cherished every second of the day and I hate that you went back to him so many times even if you knew, you knew that he wouldn´t change. Nick was an asshole who is blind to how amazing you truly are. Who never knew how to treat you…”

It was amazing to witness the usually smooth talking Seungkwan fumbling for words. Stuttering like he didn´t know what to say and a scared in a way you rarely ever got see.

“…and if you could give me just one chance to proof that I can treat like you deserve, I would…”

Rushing to cut him off you roughly took a hold of his face to press another short yet sweet kiss to his lips before raising an eyebrow with a teasing smile dancing on your lips.

Soonyoung is a lover. You've known it since the moment you met him. You knew he'd give his everything to whoever was lucky enough to hold his heart. You did not, however, know the true extent of what that meant.

You couldn't have known that even now, nearly 10 years in, he still loves you the way he did at the very beginning.

It shows in the way he still remembers details from long enough ago that you don't even remember them— on top of your habits and preferences he's long since memorized. If something does happen to slip his mind, you can tell it weighs on him. He'll never say it, never make the intent obvious, but he doubles his efforts, both to make up for his mistake and to ensure it doesn't happen again. You're not sure how he keeps it all in his mind.

It shows in the way Soonyoung clings to you after time apart. The way he seems to attach himself to you in any way possible, as if the moment you separate you'll be gone once again. His touch alternates between intentional embraces and light, barely there grazes, as if his body knows he needs to be near you even when he's not consciously thinking about it.

It shows in every "I love you." The way it never feels thoughtless. It feels intentional, because it is. It will be a cold day in hell before Soonyoung lets you forget it.

It shows today. There's no special occasion, other than it being one of the scarce days you both have off together. The light streams through your window, but that's not the first thing you notice upon coming back into consciousness this morning. Rather, it's the smell of food coming from elsewhere in the apartment.

Despite how pleasant it smells, you're not sure where you lie on the spectrum between being happy about the food and being upset that Soonyoung isn't in bed with you right now. There's little appeal to staying in an empty bed, you realize, so you heave a heavy sigh and lug yourself out of bed. Following the scent of something you can't quite place, you make your way to the kitchen.

Soonyoung hums softly to himself as he tends to the food, not yet noticing your presence. The sight makes your heart flutter. You've lived together for years at this point, but seeing him in such a domestic scene still does something to you.

A soft smile adorns your face as you approach the kitchen. He must hear your footsteps, because he turns to face you. Sleep is still visible in his eyes, so you conclude he hasn't been out here for that long. Regardless, he practically lights up when he sees you. The flutter in your heart returns.

"Morning baby," he greets with a smile.

"Morning love." You take up residence next to him, eyes scanning the counter and stovetop for clues about what he could be cooking. "Can I help out? What are you making?"

He pulls you into a side hug by your shoulder, planting a brief kiss on the top of your head. "It's a surprise. You can help by sitting there and telling me what a good job I'm doing."

You snort and lightly push him away. You want to protest, but the look in his eye tells you he's serious about it being a surprise, so you take a seat at the table. Elbows resting on the surface, you place your chin in your hand and take a moment to simply observe him. He's gotten a lot better at cooking over the years. Seeing him get to the point where he can confidently cook you something as a surprise when a lot of what he used to make came out… wrong to say the least, brings a warm feeling to your chest.

The minutes pass in soft, casual conversation accompanied by Soonyoung's occasional pout over the "lack of compliments". Before you know it, he's turning the stove off. There's hesitantion in his movement, as if he's suddenly unsure of what he's made for you. You had a feeling he was cooking something he hadn't cooked before, based on how secretive he was being with it, but his nervousness confirms it.

He steps toward you, breakfast in hand, and sets it down on the table. Now that it's in front of you, you see exactly why he wanted it to be a surprise. You feel your heart skip a beat in your chest. Your eyes flick between him and the food repeatedly, before firmly landing on his anxious gaze.

"Where did you learn this?" The question comes out soft, soft enough to match the adoration in your eyes.

Soonyoung's hand finds the back of his neck in an attempt to ease the awkwardness he's feeling. "You uh, you talked about it with your family when we were over for the holidays. You said it was your favorite when you were a kid, so I asked your mom for the recipe."

You don't know how he does it. It's baffling, truly, how he manages to surprise you even after so long.

"You…" You start to speak, but the sentence quickly dies on your tongue. Words seem to fail you. It's not a grand gesture, but right now it feels like one of the most meaningful things he has ever done for you.

"Don't thank me until you've tried it!" Soonyoung rushes to fill the silence you failed to fill yourself. Whether it's to save you from searching for something to say or to save himself from the wait, you're not sure. Honestly, it's likely both. He gestures to the meal in front of you, watching expectantly.

If you could see your own face right now, you think you might be able to see literal hearts in your eyes. "Soonyoung, I'm sure it's great," you try to put his nerves at ease. You mean it though. The food could be the worst thing you've ever eaten and the gesture would still be enough to make you fall in love with him all over again.

If your reassurance helps him in any way, it doesn't show on his face. Even though you hate to see him so nervous, it's endearing how hard he tries to do you justice. It's time you put him out of his misery, though, so you reach for the food.

When you take a bite, a smile instantly breaks out across your face. "Baby, this is amazing!" you say. It's true. It really is great. It's not perfect— not exactly like how your mom used to make it— but it's damn close and now is not the time for constructive criticism.

"Really?" Soonyoung perks up as he asks the question, anxiety dissolving in front of your eyes. As you nod, he practically beams. He starts to ramble, words coming out quicker than you can fully process. You can tell he's talking about his conversation with your mom, but the details are lost on you. You're simply too enamored by the man in front of you.

He goes on for… a while. He speaks about you and your family with such passion and care it makes your heart hurt. You know he loves you. God, how could you ever forget? But sometimes it gets so overwhelming you think you might explode.

At this moment, you want nothing more than to hold him close to you and never let him go, but emotion roots you to your seat. To your luck, he seems to notice. Stopping his ramble, he closes the difference between you and crouches down in front of your seat so he can look up at you. There's a curious glint in his eye.

"Hi." You speak softly through your smile.

He lets out a shy giggle, "Hi."

"I love you. So much," you speak it with the same purpose as he says it to you, hoping he can feel it.

The dopey grin on his face hasn't left. "I love you m-"

You don't let him finish his thought. Resting your hand on his cheek, you lean in to press your lips against his. You can feel his smile grow impossibly wider between kisses, and it only makes you want him more.

He pulls away just slightly, resting his forehead against yours as you chase his lips, not yet ready to let the moment go. There's a pout on his face now. "That wasn't fair."

A huff of laughter leaves your lips. "Can you just let me have this one?" You always say that your love is not a competition— that you can't quantify who loves each other more— but it still somehow feels like Soonyoung always beats you. After everything he's done for you this morning, the least he can do is let you have the verbal win.

His pout deepens, but it seems that he's not in the mood to say no to you. "Fine. I love you too." You roll your eyes and leave another peck on his lips.