Feb 28
My baby will be 16 tomorrow and I almost can't believe it. 😭😭😭
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My baby will be 16 tomorrow and I almost can't believe it. 😭😭😭
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On vacation this weekend with @tofixtheshadows and my son Jack. Absolutely wild how he will find a computer regardless of our location. His melatonin wore off at 5am and instead of like, hanging out in our hotel room, he went to the hotel's "Business Center" to watch YouTube videos. 🫠 When I woke up at 9, he'd eaten two complimentary breakfasts, mainlined 3 hours of YouTube through a single headphone, narrowly avoided 3 calls and a text from me asking where he was (due to service issues), and asked me if he could have a cake pop. 😭 Brother, I thought someone took you!
My kids are all at school and daycare, so why did my heart just leap into my throat when I heard a little child next door crying “Mommy” —
Parenting, particularly trauma parenting, will change you at your core
I know, fuck jonny depp, but sometimes when we're not at home it's what the baby likes to watch before bed (21 Jump Street the 1980s tv show) thanks to Faroese TV. Since we're at a hotel in Maine that's what was happening.
Then the television was making too much noise, so now hayes and I are drinking hotel bar whiskey sours in the bathroom so we don't wake our baby lololol what even is life. (The whoopie pies and chips are from the Maine soccer game we went to this afternoon...)
Youngest spawn : mom when is your birthday?
Me: December why?
Youngest spawn: how old are you going to be?
Me: how old do you think I’m going to be? *in hindsight, that was my mistake to even ask*
Oldest spawn: 21!
Youngest spawn: 100!
Me: that’s quite the range!
Oldest spawn: yeah you’re right, I’m thinking closer to 100 now
Me: 😐
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Yeah my son's in the hospital because he got fucking shot but who fucking cares, the weird neighbor kid came out of his room. Let's open with that.
We (Jack, @tofixtheshadows, @3vil-angel, and me!) went to the Renaissance Faire this weekend. It was the last day of the Faire for the season, and we were lucky to get tickets before they sold out. We had a great time, and are already planning what we'll do next year!
A life update, for friends who might wonder where we are and what we're doing!
So as some of y'all know, Jack & I spent the plague year living with @anomalagous and her family. It was a great time to be living communally, honestly, what with all the stress of isolation and the combined needs of both our families. Jack and her kiddo formed what will probably be a lasting bond, and of course being with LC was good for me (and, I hope, for her).
(I wrote a bunch of stuff here about realizing the lie of self-reliance and my own coming to terms with my disability and stuff but it was very long so that will be its own post later.)
Living with LC & Company was a boon but it was never the long term plan. When I realized that this was all going to boil down to me not being able to find a job, get my own place, and be super-capable-self-sufficient-woman, I had a moment of panic, and then I made a plan.
Enter @tofixtheshadows, the stubbornest best friend I've ever had (seriously I can't like, drive her away, it's so weird). We've been talking for years about how we'd make great roommates, and one day the stars just... aligned. It was frankly the strangest thing I've ever experienced. We applied for an apartment, waited three very stressful weeks, and then everything happened extremely fast. I'm currently in Texas, after having left California in a bit of a rush to try and fit in as much time here as I could before heading on to New York to share my life with my best friend.
Being back in Texas has been, uh, rough lol but it's also been good. I'm getting to see a lot of folks I haven't seen in a while, and spend some good time with them - but there's also an exit date, which is important for my own wellbeing. I am so thrilled to be looking forward to sharing this home and life with my best friend and building a stable environment with her for Jack to grow up in.
When you want something, and it's the right thing, the whole Universe conspires to help you achieve it. That's what happened here. And I'm incredibly grateful. Counting down the days 'til Dea gets here and we can roadtrip 'cross America to our happy little home.