#this convo

What was it with Alice and trying to get him laid? Strip clubs were definitely not his scene, he wasn’t that desperate for female attention. “What the hell is a glitter?” He asks before waving his hand. “Forget it. I don’t even want to know.” Shaking his head at her, he sighs. He wasn’t sure who was worse— her or Tabs. Probably Tabs, but Alice wasn’t too far behind. 

And I pray for God, when I am making my best efforts to defend my principles, to defend my rationality and reason, please also make your efforts too. Please bestow on me the most monstrous and distorted love, that makes me abandon every single bit of reasoning , that makes me renounce all the vows I made for myself. "

                   @klarsynt​ asked: “i need to feel you.” 

if she was as honest with herself as she could be with him, she might have seen this coming. she might have taken a moment to internally reflect on everything that happened in the last week. instead she did what she always did: kept moving forward. she could create a kind of tunnel vision that kept her putting on foot in front of the other. as long as she had a goal, something to stand on, she could ignore the rest. he was easy to focus on. emil had become a part of her life, company on lonely nights, late night dinners, talking about anything that drifted into their heads. he was a source of peace, a very human piece of ‘home’ she hadnt had in a long time. 

but he wasnt just the quiet man who liked books almost as much as he liked cats. he was extraordinarily lethal, a fact she learned only a week prior when someone hunting him turned their attention on her. there was a lot about emil she didnt know, many things that he kept close to his chest. there was always rumors about the program he was in. as medical professional, she had encountered a couple patients who’s test results always came out odd. 

so when those words came  in a deep baritone, meant to send shivers down her spine, their breaths intermingling with every soft pant from parted lips–– her body moved instinctively. like a bolt of lightning struck the top of her head, she jerked out of his space, her hand pushed his chest back. instead of the shiver of pleasure down her spine, there was a cold dread in her gut. there was a look of surprise on her own face as she realized what she had done, her brow furrowed as a slew of emotions filtered across her expression it was almost impressive. 

“ i didnt mean–– ” but she did. she didnt care that she had seen him kill people. hell she didnt even care that he had some special abilities. that was the tunnel vision. he was her friend, someone she cared about so much her heart hurt yet the idea that he could touch her and just know. was she scared of what he would see? what has he already seen? 

 the word ‘feel’ had reminded her that he knew things about her that she didnt know. it was no fault of his own but there was a feeling of invasion, disruption the a world she tried very hard to control. thoughts raced and her brow furrowed in confusion as her mind began to fill in blanks. he knew more about her that she ever did him. he was some mystery while he had the advantage. “ you saw....every time you touched me? ” she asked as if testing the taste of symbol as they passed through her lips.