she's learned that vulnerability often means danger. someone finding the weakest parts of her and using them against her. so, clarice starling has always hidden those parts from the world, keeping them away from those who were putting their nose to the ground and constantly hunting for them. she'd done the same to emil, at the start, but as she strips the blood stained clothes from her body, wondering how many steps it was to the light switch she so desperately wanted to flick off, she realized how things have changed. which might scare her more than she would ever let on.

she might actually die. because this hangover is going to kill her. and it's not even just her head. well, it's a different kind of ache in her body, that almost feels delicious. sore, but good. still, everything is a little bit fuzzy from last night. shots in the bar, met a guy . . . and now her head might explode. dares to crack open one eye and yeah, it's bright. too bright. but before she close her eyes again, there's this small thing she notice. and no, it's not the guy next to her. that's not too unusual. and they're in vegas, it happens. no, the thing that catches her attention is the silver band on her ring finger. blink a few times before lifting a little, up on an elbow to get a closer look, brows furrow ever so little.

cat’s hand lingered on the doorknob like it burned her,  the weight of the moment anchoring her in place even as everything inside her screamed to flee.  behind her,  his voice cracked the air — low,  strained,   &  too close to something that could make her stay.  she didn’t flinch.  not visibly.  but her eyes fluttered shut for a beat,  like maybe that could undo the way he was looking at her.  she turned,  slow  &  deliberate,  her expression unreadable but undeniably raw.  she didn’t owe him anything — not an explanation,  not even this — but she gave it anyway,  because he’d been the one place she let herself unravel. 

The noise of the shower running from the other room was enough to peak her interest. The warmth of the water paired with his presence was alluring, the smile pulled onto her features at the thought. Her own clothes were shrugged off as she made her way into the bathroom, moving with ease into the already running shower.

First she let her fingers run down his back with ease. When they were finally low enough, her hands ran against his sides until her arms wrapped around him from behind.

eventually, they knew this day would come. where living on the farm, it wasn't enough. where the small missions wouldn't be enough anymore. where taking down tantalus was the only option. and she'd hoped perhaps dahlia would be older by then. that she could take care of herself if it came down to it. but it was happening now. it was happening today & in an hour or so, she'd leave with freya. which, something she looked forward to. because she wants this to be done. she wants it to end. and at one point she wants to be free of this place. always be grateful for the fact they took her in when she needed it. ( even if she knew it was more because of emil and mags, than from the goodness of their heart. ) but it would never feel safe to her. it hasn't become home to her.

there's a small grunt when pulled along, and maybe she shouldn't be surprised. he'd always worn his feelings on the outside, and there were a lot of them. most of which, she didn't quite know how to deal with. this tho ? the frantic hands and the way lips are on hers a second after the door close, it's not hard to understand. she feels it too, even if she doesn't allow herself to drown in it. the fear of not coming back. the fear of something going wrong. the fear that yes, this might be the last time she feels him. hears him. that everything would change for the worse after today. her arms drift up to wrap around the back of his neck, pushing up on tippy toes while pulling herself closer, teeth nipping at his bottom lip. " are you concerned ? " it's a low murmur between them after a few moments, hint of a smile tugging at the corner of lips.