#thingsarebetter

Things are actually looking up. Yesterday, Allison and I bought some sunflowers and placed them at Lukas' memorial. I was going to originally do it alone, but honestly I couldn't of. I'm so glad she was there. I couldn't of done it without her. I'm so happy she's back in my life, I missed her more than anyone will ever know and I'm more than happy she missed me that way too. Without two faced bitches in our lives, we're actually starting off on the right foot. Just me and her :) and I like that. My family and I are getting along better, Taylor and I continue to be best friends, and Orange Is The New Black is my new addiction. Watched it for 6 hours straight today. And I think I'm going to go watch for the rest of the night :) looks like things might be okay. (Knock on wood).

He called, I didn’t answer. A day later, he called a few times and even left a voicemail. His next call, I picked up. I didn’t think, I just wanted to hear his voice. He apologized forever and we talked and he apologized some more. He drove from DT to my house and we held each other and made up, while in the process, setting off his car alarm when we were inside and naked. It was 3 o’clock in the morning! My life flashed before my eyes, legitly. Spent some time together the next day and he stayed over with me as I house-sat for the next few days. He never stops telling me how wonderful and amazing I am. One morning he took care of the dog so I could sleep in and came back and surprised me with groceries and a huge breakfast he made for us. So cute. His crêpe-like pancakes were not the best, but the thought counts! He insisted many times that he would clean up and did a pretty good job despite how easily distracted he gets. I missed him so much. His effort is noticeable and it is as clear as day how much he feels he need to prove himself so he doesn’t lose me. He’s right.. But I’m not going anywhere.

I'm actually scared of what would happen if I tried to get an abortion in my country. Which is safe, legal (for now) and doesn't harm or kill anything.