#thfrustration

Al held two cups of cocoa on both of his hands, it was obvious that it was meant for them. "I brought you something... to help you think." Al's full and luscious lips stretched into a smile that took George's breath away.

"Come in, Al. Thank you so much." George nervously babbled as he let Al in.

When Al gave the other cup to George, they started talking to each other about how their day went. If George only knew, Al would never get tired of hearing how his day went; how he would never tire of just listening to George's soft voice, his gentle nature that had drawn him at first place.

Their moment was abruptly ended when someone knocked on the trailer door; it was Andy Lockley, together with Tom. When Andy saw both George and Al standing so close to each other and evidently sweet to one another, he didn't bother to be discreet and he mockingly sneered at both of them.

Al saw his disgust, and he knew better, Andy would've shouted Fags! at them, only, Tom had come up the trailer door.

"Andy, how are you?" George still kept his composure and shook the producer's hand.

“Fine. Listen, I've heard that you're doing some re-shoots. Well, Tom here, he'd something to bring up. Come on, boy." Andy slurred as he spoke.

Tom, a little shy, spoke, "I'm just wondering if I could ask for permission to meet up with the execs at Warner Bros., that would also mean a day off from filming."

George shrugged, "Sure. That's cool with me. Whatever for, anyway?"

Andy cut off Tom and spoke for him, "They've asked him to play Ashley on their Gone with Wind remake. Baz Luhrman's directing it."

George only nodded and dug his hands on his pockets, "That's good. By the way, Andy, I would like to talk about the re-shoots."

Then he invited each and everyone to take a seat near his table. The scenes that were to be re-shot includes the fight sequence between Ian and Tom on a tarmac in LAX.

"Who choreographed that fight sequence? I saw the initial shots. Was it you, Al?" Andy asked Al that sat beside George.

"No, Charlie did that." Al pointed out.

"Charlie who?" Andy's grayed eyebrow raised.

Tom explained, "He's my trainer--Charlie Go. He's also a good stunt choreographer."

"How come I've never met him before? He's quite good. He might be better than Al." Andy's sardonic tone made it quite difficult to discern if he's just plainly joking or if he's being an asshole.

Al only gave out a quiet chuckle. He had been employed by Lockley studios for five years and with eight projects on his belt; he had learned to numb himself from Andy's stingy attitude.

"Tell the kid that I'd like to meet him." Andy tapped the table in front of him. Their small meeting continued, but at the back of Tom's mind, he was replaying the night he and Charlie watched a movie on a rooftop.

He felt a smile on his lips just remembering that exchange he had with Charlie.

I would catch you... If you fall. Always.

Then, Tom recalled what Charlie's uncle called him when he was about to barge in the room.

Did he call Charlie--Charlene?

He might have misheard Charlie's uncle, and besides, he was in between drunk and drowsy at that time; he couldn't have been sure. But after that night, his admiration for Charlie seemed to have grown. Tom knew what he said that night to Charlie and he meant it. Deep inside Tom, there is a certain desire to know Charlie more; To befriend him, to get close to him, to know his thoughts. It might sound crazy, but he harbors a soft spot in his heart for Charlie. He knows that it had always been there, since the first time he met Charlie.

He only shook his head, to which George noticed. Tom seems to be glowing, in love. At the back of George's mind, he was remembering the conversation he had with Paula a week ago. He asked her how's her relationship with Tom, she only responded with;

Tom gets easily distracted. It's hard keeping his attention.

George observed Tom who had broken off from his subtle daydream. If Tom is cheating on Paula, it would break George's heart to see his niece crying over a break-up once more.

The girl's been through a lot. That's why she's so eager with love; she had received none at all from the start. George pondered to himself.

After the talk with the reshoots, Tom had brought something up, "Are you guys free on the 9th?" Tom asked, a certain joy gleaming from his eyes.

Al shook his head and glanced at George, "I think so, yeah."

Andy leaned in to listen to Tom, "I want to throw out a party on the 9th."

Andy shrugged, "Why?"

"It's my birthday. I want to invite all of you if that's all right."

Everybody responded with agreement and Tom felt more excited. It's his birthday, Paula will be there; his friends would be there. He'll be surrounded by people he loves.

Charlie needs to be there. He thought. 

Tom felt excited about the possibilities that his birthday party promises.

“Blue or silver?” Charlie held out two neckties in front of Lily.

Charlie had asked Lily to come with him to the mall to choose a gift for Tom on his upcoming birthday party. As soon as Tom had invited Charlie, he immediately thought of what to give Tom. Charlie didn’t wanted to go to Tom’s birthday party empty-handed.

Lily crossed his arms on his chest, “Blue.”

Charlie compared the two neck ties. It is the only thing he could give Tom as what his salary could permit him to buy.

He didn’t seemed to like the blue tie, he thought the silver one looked better, “But... I think the silver one looks better.” Charlie held out the ties and placed it side by side.

“Well, you should consider what Tom’s favorite color is.” Lily shrugged, then looked back when he saw a handsome salesman passed by.

“I didn’t asked Tom. I thought all men liked blue or silver.” Charlie pouted, still baffled what color he would choose.

Lily scoffed at him, “You’re passing off as one and you don’t even know a thing about men.”

Charlie paused, Lily just say the realest things sometimes. “Maybe I don’t know that much about him.”

“Aren’t you two friends?” Lily started fiddling with the sunglasses at the next shelf.

“Yeah. Friends.” Charlie heavily sighed at the last word.

He finally had chosen to buy the blue one for Tom and he had it gift-wrapped, because in truth Charlie is a klutz in wrapping gifts. As he watched the saleslady wrap the gift up, he thought of what Lily had just said to him, that he and Tom are friends.

That pained him to think about it, because the truth is, he has fallen in love with Tom. Only, he has no inkling of what Charlie feels for him.

Sometimes, he can see signs that Tom do care for him, but it was hard for him to decode whether Tom just cares because they are friends or Tom really feels the same. For Charlie, it is like standing at the edge of a cliff; his feet half planted on the lip of that cliff, while the other half, exposed and ready to give up and make his fall. That is what Tom had made him feel for the past two months, always on the cliff’s edge.

Charlie tried to hide his sighing from Lily after they got the gift-wrapped neck tie. He wanted to keep those thoughts to himself for the meantime. Falling in love with the actor he trains is complication enough for his cover.

Tom stood at the terrace of his apartment, and he can oversee all the people he had invited for tonight.

He was sure he had asked everyone who needs to be invited, but he still kept it within his circle of friends. The most important guest, of course, would be Paula.

Tom did noticed that Paula had been having cold feet towards him these past few weeks, especially after the party where he almost got in a brawl because of Charlie’s cousin.

Since then, he would ask her if she’s all right, only to have a reassuring answer that she is.

He knew something was going on with Paula, yet he hopes that she would share that also with him. If she is in pain or anything, Tom could only hope that Paula would be honest with him; honest enough to let her heart really open for him.

The loud booming of music from the ground floor distracted him for a moment, but then, he heard footsteps coming up from the stairs. When he finally looked back, he was caught breathless at the sight of the person who just came up; it was Paula, only, her long golden tresses are no more, chopped down into a very stylish pixie cut.

“Hon? Paula? What did you do?” There was amusement in Tom’s voice.

Paula twirled around elegantly before Tom, her white silk dress moving with her, “So? Do you hate it?”

Tom chuckled, “No. Not really. I think I love it. But why?”

He had his open arms ready for her and she did took his hands on hers, “Nothing... Just something freshen up my look, or whatever.”

This time, Tom pulled her into a close embrace, “I love it. I really do. But, is that for a role or something? Aren’t you going to need hair for your role in that series, Stepford Wives?”

Paula’s laugh tinkled all over the room, “Hon, seriously, what are wigs for?”

They both laughed together as Tom held Paula in that sweet embrace. Paula had been done with the shoots for The Last Deal, and was free to do other projects.

“Are you expecting more?” Paula pointed out at the ensuing party below.

“Not really. Just George and the gang, they aren’t here yet.” Tom looked away.

Paula studied Tom’s face as he went quiet. Then she noticed, he had his hand on his pocket, as if he was fidgeting with something. For almost a second, she thought that it was a very small square-shaped box that she saw through his pocket.

Paula didn’t wanted to jump into conclusions that it might contain an engagement ring. She didn’t wanted to expect too much, just like the way she had expected too much of the things that had come into her life.

She held Tom tighter as they looked on the terrace. Maybe, Paula just wanted them to be this way for a while. She is not even sure if Tom would fully accept her and her past that she had been dragging on all her life.

After a few moments, an SUV stopped by the gate of Tom’s home. Tom knew that it’s them.

He turned to take a look at his wristwatch, “Just on time. 8 o’clock on the dot.”

Paula took his hand, “Let’s meet them.”

Tom smiled and they both went down to the gate. Meanwhile, Julian got down from the driver’s seat, with Gwen following him. While George and Al got out.

Charlie got out of the car lastly, and he already saw his companions greeting Tom and Paula at the gate. He immediately noticed that Paula had a very short haircut, but he wondered whatever for.

When Tom saw Charlie, he was wearing a black suit, partnered with no tie and just a plain white shirt. Tom thought that Charlie might look like he is from a Korean Boyband, that is all the rave nowadays.

“Happy Birthday, Tom.” George came to give Tom a hug, then he kissed Paula on the cheek.

Julian and Gwen then greeted and hugged Tom, apologizing that they were almost late to the party. However, when it was Charlie’s turn to greet Tom, he stepped forward to meet Charlie, leaving Paula on her spot.

“Hi. Thanks for coming.” Tom shook Charlie’s hand, and Charlie could only wish Tom wouldn’t notice that he is hyperventilating because of Tom’s firm and warm handshake.

“Thanks for inviting me. Oh, happy birthday, Tom.” Charlie then presented a small white box with a thick blue ribbon tied to it.

Tom held it in his hands and stared at it with awe for a moment, Charlie then pointed out, “It’s not much. I just didn’t wanted to come empty-handed to your birthday party.”

“Well, it means much more to me now. Come, let’s get inside.” Tom placed a warm hand on Charlie’s shoulder as he lead him inside the gate.

Paula noticed this exchange between Tom and Charlie. She knows that Tom is quite fond with his trainer, but sometimes she doubts it.

I’m not jealous. Do I get jealous when Tom gets close with Julian? Paula thought to herself.

When Tom and Charlie came up, Paula held out her hand to Tom, “Let’s get inside?”

Tom took her hand and they walked side by side with Charlie, following the others that are on their way inside Tom’s porch.

There were a lot of important guests for Tom’s birthday bash, and most of them are A-Listers including Kevin Feige, Loius D’Esposito, the director Joanna Hogg. Charlie felt shy. Seeing a lot of famous guests in one party feels a little bit overwhelming.

When they were already inside Tom’s home, Charlie marveled at the interior of Tom’s Californian home. The walls were a chic off-white, the mahogany bookshelves lined up at the other end of the room; the staircase were also white and carpeted, with a glass cover at each side. The living room sofas were also white, with a rectangular table in the middle, while a faux fireplace have both paintings hanging from either side. There were a handful of people grouped to two or threes, having conversations or drinking together, or even both.

Charlie felt he just entered a home he only sees on glossy magazine covers and some luxurious commercials of the rich and the famous’ home. He wouldn’t believe himself that he is now there in Tom’s home.

Tom made his guests sit at the sofas, when Charlie tried to sit at one corner, he thought he was going to drown in the marshmallow-like softness of Tom’s sofa.

Gwen noticed him being cramped at the corner, “Charlie, you’re stuck.”

Charlie let out a soft whimper, “Help... Too soft...”

Gwen chuckled and pulled him out of that corner, Charlie also laughed at himself then said, “I’ve never been to a rich person’s home. Didn’t know they have sofas this comfortable.”

She chuckled again, “I’m used to it. Being PAs to famous celebrities would give you some perks from time to time.”

Gwen made Charlie sit with them at the black and nude divan instead. While George sat with Al on a loveseat, bringing them closer than ever.

Paula sat at the head of the living room, facing the guests, as if she is the first lady, placed there to show her off. Tom went back to his kitchen to get some of the prepared refreshments.

George then talked to his niece, sitting across him,  “Paulie, darling, I love what you have done with your hair.”

Paula gently brushed the back of her head, “Thanks, Uncle George.”

But Julian pointed it out, “It kinda looks like Charlie’s hair, though. Just a little bit feminine.”

The four of them looked from Charlie to Paula, who are facing each other in the living room. Charlie had his head ducked down, feeling shy that he is compared to Paula.

For a moment, Charlie saw Paula’s smile disappear slowly, and her eyes flash with some kind of an underlying anger; after a few moments, it was gone from Paula eyes and she was smiling again.

“Yeah. I may have copied that from Charlie.” Paula joked.

Charlie only smiled, for he did not dared laugh with Paula when he just saw her reaction to being compared. He pretended being busy with listening to the booming music outside.

Tom finally came back with a try full of long-necked glasses of mimosas. He served each and every one, and then took his seat beside Paula.

Each one of them took a glass and George proposed a toast, “To the most gentleman English guy I’ve ever met; to Tom.”

They all raise their glasses and so did Tom, who thanked George.

Then, a thought passed by Tom, “Oh, by the way, have anyone invited Ian?” He asked, looking around them, but settling his gaze towards Charlie, whom he knew would have an answer to his question.

Charlie finished his sip of the mimosa and spoke, “Uhm... Ian said he’s busy--busy with the final touches on his home in Malibu. But I knew he would’ve wanted to come.”

Tom knew immediately that Charlie’s just trying to make it sound nice, but he knows that Ian wouldn’t really want to come.

A short awkward silence draped around them, but George broke the ice when he suggested they join the dancing outside Tom’s front yard. Everybody agreed to it, with Tom leading them out into the make-shift dance floor.

When the DJ saw Tom, he made sure he would play something Tom would dance into, and the starting beat of U Can’t Touch This by MC Hammer started to play.

"Ooh! Tom's gonna drop it!" Julian shouted out.

When the lyrics came up, Tom started kicking and jumping rhythmically into MC Hammer's rap, even imitating the dance step done in the music video.

He's an actor. He can sing. He can even dance. What does this man cannot do? Charlie thought as he crossed his arms on his chest, feeling his admiration for Tom to grow stronger, with him showcasing his dance skills.

When the line Hammer Time! had come up, everyone else joined Tom in the dance floor and started to dance into the song's remix version.

Julian and Gwen pulled Charlie in, but he tried to decline,

"No! I can't really dance! And I'm not that drunk yet!" Charlie complained.

"We don't care!" Gwen teased.

The three of them started jiving and shaking to the song Omen by Disclosure. At the middle of the party, Tom--then dancing with Paula, bumped into the trio of Charlie, Gwen and Paula.

"Are all of you enjoying yourselves?" Tom asked loudly over the booming music.

They all answered a loud Yeah! and continued dancing. Then, Tom caught Julian's elbow and whispered something to him.

After understanding each other, both of them excused themselves. Paula, observed this exchange between them. She tried to pretend she was still dancing, but she was following Tom and Julian with her eyes as they made their way inside and up the second floor of the house.

She had to excuse herself also, leaving Gwen and Charlie dancing on the dance floor.

"Where did they all go?" Charlie asked.

"Don't know. Wanna get some drinks?" Gwen tilted her head towards the mini bar. Charlie smiled and they both went over the mini bar.

Meanwhile, Paula quietly made her way up the second floor. There were no other guests beyond the first two rooms, but Paula heard both Tom and Julian talking in Tom's bedroom.

"Do you think she will love this?" Paula heard Tom ask Julian.

"What's that?" Julian pointed out.

"An engagement ring." Tom coyly presented the boxed diamond ring to Julian.

"Wait... Is that...? For Paula?"

With that, Paula had her back pressed on the wooden panel, anticipating Tom's answer. For a few seconds, Tom didn't answered.

Is it really for me?

"Jules, man, come on. Weren't you sighing around the other day how you'd want to give Gwen a diamond ring when the time comes?"  Tom finally answered. Paula knew it immediately, the ring was never meant for her.

"But... I didn't asked for it. You know, you're the one more likely to propose to your girlfriend."

Paula could almost hear Tom shrug, "Not yet. Maybe not just yet."

For a long moment, they were both quiet. But Paula can hear every aching beat of her heart.

"Then why the ring?" Julian asked.

Tom tapped Julian's shoulder, "Think of it as an engagement present to the both of you."

Julian sighed, "Tom, it's your birthday. You're the one supposed to be given gifts."

"No, no. I'd only be satisfied if you would have me as your best man." Tom said with a laugh.

"Definitely." Julian replied confidently.

Paula didn't wanted to hear another word from their conversation. She went not downstairs but to the other room's bathroom. She quietly closed the door, and saw the wide mirror.

Paula got close to the mirror and saw tears flowing down from her eyes, ruining her perfect make-up.

"Stupid. Just plain stupid." She whispered to her reflection.

After she had wiped all of her tears away, she came out, as if nothing happened.

All the guests gathered around the small stage, all of them looking up to Tom who is going to open all of his gifts.

He already started on one, and it was a replica of his Loki helmet on Thor: Ragnarok.

"Just in case you'd like to roleplay on foreplay!" Taika Waititi--who Tom invited the last minute, shouted out at the back of the crowd, proud of his birthday gift to Tom.

Tom abashedly snickered, even blushing, as his guests laughed at their banter. He then proceeded to open Paula's gift, a Bremont watch, and one of the most expensive too. His eyes softened and he affectionately gazed at Paula,

"Hon, this is... Thank you so much." Tom sweetly beamed at his girlfriend.

He even got off stage to give her a kiss. While Charlie, who sat next to Gwen and Julian, saw that his gift is next to be opened.

Tom was now given the next gift, he read the note, "To the kindest person I know. From, Charlie." Tom smiled at Charlie's way.

He saw Tom's eyes light up as he opened the box. Tom pulled out the blue neck tie and admired it.

"Oh, thank you so much, man!" Tom exclaimed, holding out the blue neck tie. Paula looked back at Charlie who sat at the last row.

"My trainer, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Charlie Go. Stand up, mate." Tom presented Charlie.

He didn't wanted to but Julian urged him. Charlie stood and smiled at the guests, but in the middle of the crowd, he saw one guest that made the hair at the back of his neck stand; it was Andy Lockley.

The old man was looking at him, inquisitively and interestingly, which terrified Charlie. When Charlie sat back, he was sure he needed to get out of the party before he is to be introduced to Andy.

Charlie had tried to avoid Andy's occasional visits on set. He was too afraid that Andy would recognize him, and he was not going to let his cover be blown and his semi-revenge toppled to the ground.

He was about to get up his seat when Gwen stopped him, "Charlie, where are you going?"

Charlie froze like a dear in the headlights, "Uhm... I think I have to go. I don't feel so good--I had a lot of sushi." He acted out like he is having a tummy ache.

Julian knew that Charlie is just giving these excuses so he won't run into Andy.

"Maybe you just need to use the bathroom, buddy. I'll come with you," Julian winked at Charlie, then he turned to Gwen, "We'll just use the boys' room, baby." Then he kissed Gwen on the forehead who nodded at him.

"Come on." Julian whispered as Charlie followed him.

When they reached the entrance to the kitchen bathroom, Charlie sighed with relief.

"What is that man doing here?" He asked Julian.

"D'uh, he's the executive producer. If Tom didn't invited him, it would mean he's dissing on Andy." Julian had his hands on his waist.

Charlie leaned back anxiously at the marble wall, "He looked at me, Jules! Do you think he recognized me?"

"Don't know." Julian replied.

"Oh, here you are!" Andy's voice filled the hallway, which made Charlie freeze on where he was standing.

Julian tried to act cool, "Oh, Andy. Hey, nice of you to turn up." then he let out a nervous chuckle.

Andy then turned his attention to Charlie, who tried to avoid his gaze. "So you are Charlie Go. I've heard a lot about you." Andy held out his hand to shake Charlie's.

But for a moment, Charlie hesitated. He was the reason why he cross-dressed. Andy was the reason he wanted to exact revenge to the studio; to prove himself, or herself.

Charlie shook Andy's hand, he even smiled at him. He felt like he is playing a game with the enemy.

"Sir. Nice to meet you, finally." Charlie politely said, which surprised Julian.

"I heard a lot about you. And I admire your stunt choreography, by the way.” He tapped Charlie’s shoulder.

For a moment, he felt a certain glee that this man, who rudely embarrassed him in front of everyone, admires him for his skills. Before Charlie could smile at that, he shrugged it off and said,

“Well, thanks. I didn’t really made that all up, actually.” Charlie then looked down, but he can feel Andy’s amusement.

“Really? Someone taught you then?” Andy crossed his arms on his chest.

Now, Charlie met his gaze, a shining defiance on his eyes. “My Dad.”

Andy could only nod and smile at Charlie. Julian watched them all the while.

“So, any of you going to use the bathroom?” Andy asked, Julian and Charlie, shook their head.

“Well, I’ll be going ahead.” Then Andy got inside the bathroom.

Charlie loudly sighed as soon as Andy was gone. Julian urged them to get back outside.

“Guys, thank you for coming.” Tom bid goodbye to all of his guests as the party ended.

They all had giveaways that they took home with them. It was almost 1 o’clock and some were wasted from the party, they were needed to be helped into their cars.

Charlie was still a little bit shaken after that encounter with Andy. He was thankful enough that he didn’t crumbled down in front of Andy. As he sat over an empty table, waiting when they would leave. He texted Uncle Barty that he’s on his way home.

“Can I join you?” Tom asked him as he stood beside Charlie.

“Yeah, sure.” Charlie tried to sound casual.

Tom sat in front of him. “Are you all right?”

Charlie’s eyes leveled with Tom’s. He doesn’t know if he wanted to answer that. Instead, he smiled and nodded at Tom.

Tom then said, “Thanks again for your gift.”

Charlie looked up to him, “It’s  not really that much. But I’m glad you liked it.”

But behind Charlie’s smile, Tom could still see that shadow on Charlie’s eyes.

“Are you really all right?” Then he placed a hand on Charlie’s knee.

That warm and caring look that Tom is giving him, was enough to jolt his heart up; making him forget he ever saw Andy Lockley.

He then placed a hand over Tom’s, “I am now. Thanks.”

They both smiled at each other, the warm light of the table centerpiece casting a glow on Tom. But Charlie was sure it was not the light, not the night’s ambiance but the same glow he can always see on Tom.

They didn’t spoke another word, but they didn’t knew who was watching.

Julian saw how close Tom has becoming to Charlie. There was nothing wrong with it, except, Charlie is pretending to be a man. It could spell out trouble, but who is he stop them from becoming friends?

Paula had been engrossed in a full conversation with Lily, talking about what skincare products down to the brushes that Lily uses.

Charlie could hear some of it, but his attention, for now, was on his Bourbon punch.

However, Julian, who seemed to have loosened up, glared at Charlie, “Charlie! Are you still on that punch? Why not have something stronger?”

He held out his hand, kindly declining, “No, man, I’m good. I have a low tolerance for alcohol.”

Tom heard Charlie, then he craned his neck over Paula and Lily that are now huddled together, still talking about make-up.

“Stop being a tosser, mate. Come on, Charlie, just one shot.” Tom urged him.

Gwen spoke up, “Oh you brutes! Let Charlie have his drink!” She then slapped Julian’s thigh.

After finishing their current drinks, they ordered another round. The night is still young and all of them agreed to get piss-ass drunk for the night. Tom was braver now he is a little bit drunk. He insisted on everyone to a dance off while the song Roses by Chainsmokers blasted loudly at the dance floor. 

He encouraged everyone to come down with him. Paula rolled her eyes while Tom jumped around getting ready, “You’re just like that because you can dance.” She shouted over the loud music.

As all of them started to walk out of their seat, Tom came around Charlie, and there, he started to pull Charlie into the dance floor. Charlie couldn't help but be taken away as Tom held his wrist and was pulling him to dance. He was followed by Julian and Gwen, Lily, then by Paula. Unfortunately, when they reached the middle of the dance floor, the song ended.

"Just on time." Tom sarcastically remarked. 

Charlie shrugged, then, they all heard another song play; it was Wanna Be Your Baby by Zara Larsson. 

"This is my jam! Come on, babe!" Julian smoothly linked his arm over Gwen's waist and then they disappeared in the crowd. 

Tom, Charlie, and Lily started dancing to the beat; Paula, who looked around, felt like she wanted to go back to their table, did walk back. When the chorus came up, a good-looking Latino pulled Lily away and they started dancing close together. 

I wanna be your first, your last, your everything I wanna be in your arms and definitely 

Tom belted those lyrics out while jiving in front of Charlie. He made their hands link on to each other, while he swung Charlie's arm from to left to right. 

I wanna be someone you keep coming back to see I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours, I wanna be your baby 

Charlie laughed out loud as Tom looked so funny while he drunkenly sang out loud. But when Tom saw Charlie's smile and heard his laugh, he thought about something he had never thought about before;

Dammit, Charlie would've been so beautiful if ever he became a woman...

Tom couldn't help but smile widely at that thought until he found himself making funnier faces so Charlie wouldn't stop laughing.

Am I that drunk that I now think Charlie could be so attractive?

Tom's thoughts started to mildly alarm him. When the song came to an end, Tom pulled Charlie into the bar until the DJ started playing another bop. 

"Two Tequila shots," Tom asked the bartender. 

Charlie had the look of disbelief, "You're not drinking those two shots by yourself, are you?" 

Tom had a sly smile on his face that Charlie thought for a second if he's talking to Loki. 

“No, you're drinking the other one." He then pushed the shot glass towards Charlie, full to the brim with Tequila. 

The bartender placed the lime and salt near them. The last time Charlie got drunk was when Uncle Barty and his friends made him drink Whisky, and of course, he regretted the hangover that came the morning after. But this time, he's drinking with Tom. Maybe it won't hurt to have a shot or two with his crush. 

Let's have it at the same time..." Tom got the salt and shook some at the back of his hand, "Come on, give me yours," then he also poured salt at the back of Charlie's hand. 

“Ready?" Tom winked at Charlie. 

They both sucked on the thick slice of lime, licked the salt, then finally, shot down the Tequila. Charlie hissed as the Tequila warmed his chest, setting a gentle fire up to his system. 

Tom laughed after drinking his shot, and also because he saw Charlie's cheeks blush red. 

“I think I'm a fan of Tequila now." Charlie giggled. 

And for a moment, he caught Tom staring at him. A smile was on his lips, yet his eyes, brighter than the lights inside the club. 

"What? Is there something in my face?" Charlie consciously rubbed his nose and his cheeks. 

But Tom shook his head gently, "No. Your face is perfect."

Only, Charlie didn't catch what he said as the loud music banged on from the large speakers, "What? My face is what?!" 

Tom only smirked and turned away, "Nothing!"

Little did they know, Paula was observing them from afar. The way Tom talked to Charlie, the way he smiles at him, made her feel jealous.

I know I shouldn’t be... But why? Paula thought to herself.

Once more, she saw them lean close so they could hear each other better. At that time, she felt her heartstrings being pulled apart. She didn’t want anymore to be in that club, more than she didn’t want to see Charlie and Tom together.

With that, she took her purse and left, and without any goodbyes to Tom.

“Hey, where’s Paula?” Tom slurred when he no longer saw her at their seat.

“Where’s Lily?” Charlie looked from left to right, and when he caught sight of Lily at another table, being forced to make out with a guy, the warm feeling inside him became a raging fire.

Charlie walked about and turned back from Tom.

“Charlie, where are you going?”

When Charlie got near Lily, who was struggling from the guy that had pulled him away earlier, Charlie immediately grabbed the collar of the guy’s shirt and pushed him away with all of his strength.

“Get away from my cousin, you perv!” Charlie shouted, feeling braver than usual because of that Tequila shot.

Lily sighed in relief but noticed that Charlie’s voice sounded higher than his usual disguise of tone.

The guy stood up, towering over Charlie. He was burly but drunk, and Charlie knew he could take him down in one move.

“Who are you? Her lesbian bitch?!” He spat at Charlie.

Lily had to hold Charlie down at his elbows so he wouldn’t fight back. The man was clearly an asshole and not worthy to have a brawl with. The man stepped up, ready to land a blow over Charlie’s face, when another towering figure got in between them--Tom.

“Pick someone your own size.” His menacing tone evidently scared the drunken douchebag.

Tom was followed by two bouncers, whom he had asked to intervene at the scene. The man stood back and gulped back when he saw the bouncers, with arm muscles that are as massive as their chests.

Tom then turned to Charlie and Lily, “Are you okay?”

They both looked at each other first, then nodded at Tom.

“Let’s get out of here.” He came over them and pulled them away.

Julian and Gwen also noticed them and they also made their way towards them.

“Tom, man! What happened?” Julian got Tom’s attention.

“We’re leaving” Tom’s eyes were dark, the muscles of his jaws were tensed.

When they finally got out of the crowded entrance of the club, the cold air chilled them as it had been too hot inside.

Tom turned to Lily, “Did he hurt you?”

Lily, who looked dizzy, tried to reply, “No... But he made me drink something.”

Charlie’s eyes widened then spoke through gritted teeth., “I’ll fucking dent that asshole’s face.”

Tom stopped him, “The bouncers had taken care of that. Why don’t we all call it a night?”

He turned to Julian and Gwen; Julian only shrugged, “I guess so. Lily doesn’t look so good.”

Charlie sighed, Lily is just a kid; he may be tall and very feminine, but he would never forgive himself if anything happens to his cousin.

“Okay. I’ll call a cab for me and Lily.” Charlie said while he fished his phone on his pocket.

“I’ll be taking Gwen home if all of you don’t mind.” Julian shyly spoke up.

Tom had a small smile on his lips and nodded at his best mate. He then stopped Charlie from punching numbers on his phone, “I’ll take you two home. Don’t worry about it.”

Charlie wanted to protest, he didn’t want to bother Tom who also looked intoxicated, only, he was just good at hiding it.

“No, Tom, you should go home. You’ve done so much, I can’t--”

Tom only looked down at him with a stern glance. He knew he can’t convince Tom otherwise.

“Charlie, let Tom take you and Lily home. I think that’s for the better.” Julian suggested.

“And you’ll be safe with Tom,” Gwen added.

Charlie finally nodded in agreement, “Okay.”

Tom then turned to Gwen and Julian, “Hey, did you saw Paula back there? I couldn’t find her, everything went too fast.”

Lilly spoke up, “She left. I saw her head for the exit.” He then took Charlie’s shoulder for support as he is getting dizzier by the minute.

Tom only looked down. Maybe he’ll text Paula later.

Julian and Gwen left, then Tom took his car out of the parking while Charlie and Lily waited from a convenience store just beside the club.

While they sat outside, near the entrance steps, Lily leaned on Charlie’s shoulder.

“Couz, your boyfriend is so sweet, isn’t he?” Lily slurred.

Charlie snorted, “Shut up. He’s not my boyfriend. Tom’s just being kind.”

“But you like him, though, right?” Lily teased, even though his head felt it was about to explode.

Charlie didn’t answer that. There was no need for an answer to that, Charlie didn’t just like Tom; he really likes Tom.

When Tom’s car arrived, Charlie helped Lily up and they both sat at the back. Charlie saw that Tom had bought some medicine for Lily.

“Sorry, I had to stop by a drugstore. So, where do you live again?” Tom turned to them.

“Downtown,” Charlie replied.

“Okay. And uh, if I look sleepy, just tap my shoulder.” Tom joked as he started the engine.

Charlie only smiled at him as they started to move out.

While on their way home, Charlie kept Lily’s head from rolling out and had a plastic bag ready when he vomits. Tom saw how Charlie had taken care of Lily over the rearview mirror. He remembered when Charlie told him that he only has his extended family, that’s why he’s this way towards Lily.

Around 1 o’clock in the morning, they reached the Gosengtian residence. Charlie carefully woke Lily up who had been sleeping for a while.

“Lily, we’re home. You have to wake up.” Charlie gently slapped Lily’s cheeks.

Tom saw that Lily is not waking from his nap, “I could help you with Lily.”

Charlie shook his head, already embarrassed, “Please Tom, it’s too much. I can carry Lily inside.”

Tom’s eyebrow raised, “Really?” He doubtfully remarked.

Charlie grunted as he placed Lily upright, “Yes really.”

Tom didn’t bother to listen to Charlie, he got out of the driver’s seat and opened the door at the back seat.

“Come on, I’ll help you with him.” Tom offered.

He had no other choice but to let Tom help him; Tom took Lily’s right arm on his shoulders, while Charlie handled Lily’s left.

When they finally reached the doorstep, Charlie took out his key and opened the front door. The living room and kitchen had been dimly lit, and everybody seems to be asleep.

“Come on. Just quietly. We don’t want to wake Uncle Barty and Auntie Baby.” Charlie whispered as they carefully threaded the stairs while they almost dragged Lily around.

Upon reaching Lily and Charlie’s room, Charlie heard Uncle Barty come out of their room.

“Shit! Get inside! Take Lily inside!” He immediately opened their room and Tom hurriedly dragged Lily inside, and Charlie was left at the hallway.

Uncle Barty rubbed his eyes, dressed in a silk sleeping robe and his PJs.

“Hey. Did you just came in?” He asked Charlie.

“Yep.” Charlie closed the door behind him, sneakily, and tried to get in between it.

“Is Lian inside? Did he came home with you?” Uncle Barty wanted to push the door in to see if Lily did come home with Charlie.

“Yeah. He’s inside. Lily’s just--” He wanted to say plastered but he doesn’t want his Uncle Barty to throw a fit at him when actually, they have brought a man home with them--the number one rule in the household that they have broken.

“He’s getting ready to sleep. And you know, Uncle Barty--” Charlie comically yawned, “I think I need to get going too. Goodnight.”

Charlie quickly dismissed Uncle Barty and got inside the room. When Barty got shut off by the door, he shook his head, “Kids these days.”

Charlie gave out a big sigh of relief when he got inside. Tom had already placed Lily down at the bed.

Tom sat down at the floor, his back at the bed.

“Thank you so much, Tom... for this. I know it’s really embarrassing--” Charlie started to explain.

“Do you always get embarrassed when someone helps you?” Tom teased.

Charlie tilted his head to the left, “Well, it may be a Filipino trait of being too shy when accepting someone’s help--or owing someone a great deal.” He joked.

Tom chuckled then started to get up when they both heard Uncle Barty loudly rap the door, “Charlene, is someone there with you and Lily?”

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” Charlie cursed while he panicked on how to hide Tom. And no, their closet won’t be able to hide Tom there.

Uncle Barty continued knocking, demanding the door be opened, then, Charlie saw their open window.

“Go at the rooftop. Hide there and don’t make a sound!” Charlie whispered then Tom started climbing up the iron ladder that leads to the rooftop.

“I won’t repeat myself, Charlene, open this door.” Uncle Barty ordered.

When the door opened once again, he saw that Charlie had already changed into a shirt and shorts, his common sleeping clothes.

“Uncle Barty! It’s almost dawn, come on, I’m almost off to bed.” Charlie acted sleepy, but actually, his heart is pounding on his chest.

“Huh. I thought a guy was inside your room. Okay. I guess I’ll stay up. I won’t be able to sleep back because of you kids partying till dawn. I’ll be downstairs, watching TV.”

When Uncle Barty finally turned away, Charlie closed the door and cursed once again under his breath. Tom will not be able to get out at the front door, now that Uncle Barty’s guarding the ground floor, or watching TV. Charlie remembered Tom, and there, he climbed up. He immediately saw Tom slumped down at the worn out couch that they have placed there for hangouts. He was almost snoring when he approached Tom.

“Tom? Are you awake?” Charlie carefully booped Tom’s cheek.

Tom’s eyes flickered open and saw Charlie, in shorts and a black t-shirt, which showed his curves. He thought that it might just be his drunkenness that had made him see Charlie like a woman.

“I’m awake.” Tom held up his hands.

“Bad news. I don’t think you would be able to get out of the house. Uncle Barty’s up and guarding the front door.” Charlie sighed.

Tom, already feeling the drowsiness and own drunken state getting the best of him, crossed his arms on his chest, “Then I’ll stay here until the morning.”

Charlie wanted to say something else, but there was no other way but to let Tom stay for the night.

“Well... I’ll be down for a minute. Just stay there and don’t move.” Charlie strictly instructed him.

Charlie ran and got down the rooftop, barefoot, that the cold stone tiles of the rooftop almost electrified his soles.

Tom waited and tried to stay up, but he would drift out for a minute and then. The next time he opened his eyes, Charlie had moved the table in front of them and there stood a clear glass of water with a diffused alka-seltzer at the bottom. He looked on his left and there he saw Charlie also huddled in a blanket and was watching a movie on his phone, the headphone attached to his ears, and also a glass of water with alka-seltzer that stood below him.

“Hey.” Tom whispered.

Charlie almost jumped when Tom reached out for him. But he immediately pointed the glass to Tom, “Drink that. That will make you feel better.”

Tom only nodded in reply and took the glass and drank from it. After Tom had drunk all of it, he turned to Charlie.

“I don’t feel so sleepy anymore. What time is it?”

Charlie placed down his phone, “It’s almost 3 o’clock in the morning. I thought I was going to watch over you for the rest of the night, so I’ve thought about staying up.”

Tom only looked at Charlie, then asked, “What are you watching?”

Charlie shrugged and took his phone on his hand to show it to Tom, “Just catching up to some Pinoy movies back home.”

Tom, now curious, took the right side of the headphones, “What’s the title?”

Charlie felt Tom closing in, as he became interested at the movie he is watching, “My Ex and Whys.”

Tom placed the headphones on his right ear and huddled near Charlie, “Can I watch it with you?”

Charlie’s cheeks felt burning as Tom smiled at him, still looking his best even when he is sleep-deprived and hungover.

“S-sure. I’ll turn on the subtitles for you.” Charlie replied, trying not to flail around as his crush wants to watch a romantic movie with him.

Charlie played it once more from the start so Tom could relate to the plot. Of course, he had some commentaries every now and then, 

“Oh, so she’s Liza Soberano. She is pretty.” Tom pointed out, to which Charlie explained, “That’s Enrique Gil, he’s always paired with her in movies and teledramas--they’re a loveteam, it’s what they call back home.”

Tom was engrossed in the movie, Charlie could tell. But with the way his so close to him, divided his focus from the movie and the way Tom sat beside him.

Then, the pivotal scene of the movie came up, Liza Soberano’s character, Cali confronted Enrique Gil’s character, Gio;

Am I not enough? <<Am I replaceable?>> 

Charlie had to hold on to something before he could tear up; not while Tom is just beside him, watching.

No, you’re not. Said Enrique’s character.

Then why?! Liza’s character shouted out, finally breaking down to sobs and tears.

Charlie noticed that Tom heaved a grave sigh, then said, “Well shit.”

They met glances and Tom’s eyes looked watery, but he immediately reasoned, “It’s too cold. I’m sniffling because of the cold.”

Charlie smirked, then they continued watching. All the while, Charlie quietly observed Tom when he didn’t knew. He had already taken off his jacket, his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, just like the way he looked like on some photoshoots that he did before.

If only, he could have Tom, just this way, always; he wouldn’t ask for anything more. As soon as that thought came to his mind, he dismissed it quickly.

Who are you kidding? This will only happen once. Don’t get used to it. Charlie berated himself, internally.

The movie ended just before 4 o’clock in the morning. Tom had a pleasant look on his face afterwards, then he said, 

“The ending was quite predictable--it’s a rom-com. But then... I think I like LizQuen now.” Tom explained.

Charlie’s face lit up, then he removed the headphone on his left ear, “Really? Be careful, you might become one of their army of fans.”

Tom leaned on the thick cushioned armrest of the couch, “Well, what’s wrong with that?”

They both laughed out loud afterwards, but they remembered to be quiet or someone else might catch them up the rooftop.

For a moment, they both went silent as they stared out at the skyline of Downtown; the lights of the buildings and streets made it look like the stars are below there on the ground.

Then, out of nowhere, Tom asked Charlie, “Charlie? Have you ever been in love?

Charlie froze, wondering why on earth Tom would ask him something like that.

“I... I don’t think I’ve been in love before...” Charlie replied, timidly.

“I did. A lot of times. It’s the most wonderful yet the most horrific feeling. It was good--no, it’s great. But, I had someone broke my heart before. Well, also a lot of instances, too.”

Charlie didn’t spoke, he let Tom say what he needed to say. Tom placed his longs legs into the couch, reaching Charlie at the other end.

“I don’t know much, sorry...” Charlie finally said.

Tom smiled, wrapped the blanket around him and stared at Charlie.

“We’re friends now, are we, Charlie?” Tom asked him.

Charlie nodded in reply. Tom inhaled sharply, “I wanted you to know that I trust you. Sometimes, trust is like... Crossing a tight rope,” He demonstrated an imaginary line in front of him, his hands, the two points of the tight rope.

“Then someone from below would tell you that they’d catch you if ever you would fall. I’ve been fooled that they would catch me no matter what...”

Tom suddenly sat up briskly that it startled Charlie. He was no longer sure if Tom was still drunk or is he just in between waking and dreaming.

He placed his long arm on Charlie’s shoulder and pulled him close, “Charlie, let’s real talk right now... Would you catch me, if I fall from a tight rope?”

Tom was not making any sense, at least, but Charlie felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter harder, that he stuttered while answering, “Y-Yes, of course.”

Once more, he gave Charlie the most serene of looks, the same look he had back in Suffolk. His face shining and painfully beautiful.

He tried to catch his breath before he lose his own self just because Tom looked so damned perfect at that moment.

“I would catch you... If you fall. Always.” Charlie said it, like it was a pledge of his own love to Tom. Even though it’s far from the possible that Tom can be his, Charlie made it a promise to him, somehow.

“Thanks man... Charlie, you’re the best. Someone should really date you, though. You’re such a kind-hearted person.” Tom rambled as he laid back once more.

Charlie had to touch his cheeks with the back of his hands because he was burning and flushed.

He waited for a while if Tom would get up again, but he heard him snore softly.

“Nope! No, Tom, you can’t sleep here. We got to go down, or we’ll catch a cold.” Charlie shook Tom who awoke easily, but was already sluggish, his eyelids, half-closed.

Luckily, Charlie convinced him to go down to Lily’s room to sleep there for the next hours to come.

“Holy fucking shit!” Lily almost shouted when he saw Tom Hiddleston, sleeping in between him and his cousin, Charlie.

He first ogled the scene; Tom was big-spooning him while being sandwiched between him and Charlie; Charlie big-spooned Tom, who only wore Charlie’s oversized t-shirt and shorts that revealed his long runner legs.

“Cha-Cha! Wake up!” He pulled Charlie’s left ear and it made her wince with pain.

“Fuck off!” Charlie hissed, but Lily pinched him at the sides so he could finally wake up.

“Lily, what’s wrong with you!? I’m trying to sleep here!” Charlie unconsciously wrapped his arms around Tom’s waist, hugging him close like a pillow.

“Did we had a threesome with Tom Hiddleston, huh? Answer me, Charlene!” Lily now growled and that made Charlie bolt right up because Lily had just mentioned his real name in front of Tom.

“Shut up! Why did you called me that? Tom might be awake!” He retaliated with a loud smack on Lily’s arm.

Lily pushed Charlie’s shoulder then pointed out the situation right in front of them. “Explain.” He dirtily eyed Charlie.

Charlie now finally realized what had shocked Lily, there, he started to account to him what happened last night.

Lily only crossed his arms around his chest, his mermaid-hair disheveled.

“Then your Dad woke up and almost wanted to get inside when Tom was still here! He would’ve killed us if he knew Tom was here--so, I made Tom stay for the night.” Charlie gestured at all of Tom, who is stretched out in their bed, sleeping.

“So... We didn’t had sex with him last night?” Lily raised his perfect eyebrow.

“No. For fuck’s sake, why would we do that?” Charlie raked his short hair with his fingers, feeling frustrated.

“Shame.” Lily clicked his tongue.

This time, Charlie slapped his arm, and he mockingly shot a dark look at his cousin, “Hey!”

“Seriously...” Charlie shook his head, then his focus went back to Tom, who is peacefully sleeping in between them; like a demigod from Mount Olympus who’d just decided to a sleepover with them.

Charlie restrained himself from touching his cheek as he slept, yet, Lily’s focus was on another thing.

“Hey, couz. Charlie.” He grabbed Charlie’s jaw then made it face at Tom’s lower half.

“Do you see what I see?” Lily nodded at the protruding shape, just between the valley of Tom’s legs.

Charlie’s eyes widened and he clasped his mouth before he could overreact; their eyes are not fooled, Tom had just a morning wood.

“It’s really a shame we didn’t had a threesome with this guy. Damn... I know what his fans call that! It’s his Hiddlesconda!” Lily teased Charlie who had thrown a pillow over Tom’s loins to cover it, only to have his wood deflect it.

Lily chuckled with delight as he quipped once more, “No! They have a new name for it! It’s Ragnacock!” Lily now cackled loudly.

“Ssh! You’ll wake him! How about you go down the kitchen to get something to eat? And see if Uncle Barty’s gone for the day so Tom could go home now!” He ordered Lily with another slap on the shoulder.

Lily was still giggling and cackling as he made his way into the door, but he looked back, “Hey, don’t even think about peeking at his morning wood.”

Charlie grimaced, “Get the fuck down!” then threw a pillow at Lily’s direction.

He slumped back and kept a safe distance from Tom, that has been sleeping sweetly, even though there had been a small commotion just above him.

Charlie sighed as he watched Tom sleep. He didn’t knew what came over Tom to say things like that last night. But Charlie knew, whatever happens, even his cover could be blown and Tom would hate him for it; he would still love him.

Love him. He repeated that to himself.

Is this it? Does Charlene Lee, a.k.a. Charlie Go had finally and fully fallen in love with none other than, Tom Hiddleston? Is his feelings more than some mad crush? More than of a friend’s?

Charlie only looked away; if he had fallen in love with Tom, he’s not hoping that Tom would eventually return his feelings.