#theycallit

I’ve officially survived my first week back at home. I like to think that I’ve matured in the years I’ve spent in the great white north, but apparently these changes have not been celebrated.

“Oh my, you certainly look fuller…” No, I’m not pregnant – but I’ve been having an affair with anything fried and all things alcoholic (it helps me deal with the fact that I’m back here, okay!). But in all seriousness - yes, you caught me. My exam binge eating has caught up to me – but what young woman hasn’t had their weight fluctuate between five and ten pounds? I hope not just me, I like to think I’m “normal”. Please note the quotation marks.

“Oh dear, you’re in dire need of a dental visit…” Note the use of “dire” - that emphasizes the horrific state of my mouth. This was enough for me to run to the closest pharmacy and buy a life’s supply of Crest white strips. So far they’re helping – not that I have received any positive feedback. “Well, that’s just unrealistic.” What’s unrealistic, you might ask? Pursuing an arts degree – although I plan to use it to aid me in my pursuit of teacher’s college. Okay, so you believe my degree is useless and I believe your narcissistic personality is crippling – to each their own!

Also, I should not be annoyed that my landlord gives my number to realtors, plumbers and contractors who need to reach him? Apparently I’m his personal secretary without any of the benefits. These views confuse me.

“You like to add in those personal jabs don’t you?” I could hardly contain myself; my eyes were about to roll right out of my head. After all those comments… oh well. Smile and bat those eye lashes. One day I’ll be thankful I kept my critics close – hopefully my self esteem doesn’t plummet completely.