Did anyone else notice the narcissist always picked fights right before birthdays, holidays, vacations, or anything you were excited about?
It was never a coincidence.
Because once you see the pattern you cannot unsee it. Every birthday that started with an argument you couldn't trace back to anything real. Every holiday that got poisoned before it began. Every trip you'd been looking forward to for months that somehow started with a blowup the night before that left you walking onto the plane emotionally wrecked and wondering what you did wrong.
It felt random at the time. It felt like bad timing. Like bad luck. Like maybe you were somehow responsible for the tension that always seemed to arrive precisely when you were about to experience something good.
You weren't responsible. You were targeted.
Joy is a threat to a narcissist. Your happiness — especially happiness that exists independently of them — disrupts the control. And a fight right before something you looked forward to accomplishes everything they need it to. It centers them in your moment. It replaces your excitement with anxiety. It makes you spend your birthday, your holiday, your vacation managing their emotions instead of actually living your life. And then they get to decide when the clouds part and the good version of them returns — which keeps you grateful instead of celebrating.
*Your joy was never safe with them.*
Because your joy that didn't require them was the one thing they couldn't control.
*The pattern was the point. And now you know.*
CTTO
