#thetrumppapers

People wonder why nothing nasty sticks to Trump: He has an aggressive case of affluenza and his minions forgive him for it.

Exit polls speak in South Carolina:

75% of Trump supporters favor a ban on Muslims

66% of them believe Obama is a Muslim

60% say Obama was not born in the USA

40% support abolition of mosques in USA

Scary thought of the day: Hillary is now preaching love and kindness, which I’m all for, but what if we have another terrorist attack before the election? What if we have two? How much hay will The Donald make out of love & kindness vs. ISIS? Are we that close to a President Trump?

Trump didn’t actually squash the mosquito and the blowfly on Super Tuesday, but he thumped them pretty good. Lying nasty Ted Cruz carried his home state of Texas and his neighbor Oklahoma, and later my home state of Alaska (read: not Trump); and little Marco won the Minnesota caucus, as strange as that may seem. Trump swept the rest, mostly southern states which he solidified by getting the endorsement of a bevy of NASCAR drivers five days before the vote.

I, of course, looked forward to his victory speech. Would it produce more groans or laughs? This is one criterion I use to process his speeches these days. Sometimes you groan, and then laugh. And sometimes you laugh, until you realize he really means it, and then you groan. Occasionally, there is a double groan and no laughs.

Who came out on the stage to introduce him but his new-found minion, Chris Christy. He, who two weeks earlier had proclaimed Trump “unfit to be president”, introduced The Donald in glowing, hypocritical echolalia. They embraced and Christy retreated to the backdrop and stood in full TV view just off Trump’s right shoulder.

On that right shoulder stood Contrite, tall and proud, looking spiffy in his Brooks Bros. suit and red tie. Contrite was standing on his tip-toes, talking into The Donald’s ear. Contrary was bound and gagged, and struggled to be free on the other shoulder. The Donald began by congratulating “hard-working Ted” for his victories in Texas and Oklahoma, gave a nod toward his “worthy opponents”--- little Marco, Gentle Ben and the noisy adult in the room, John Kasich, and  then went on to brag, as he occasionally does, about his victories.

I captured this verbatim. It involved a lot of going back and forth on the DVR, stopping the tape and seeing Trump in one of his terrifying stills, that evil oval mouth in front of six US flags, but I felt it my patriotic duty. “We won the evangelicals, we won with young, we won with old, we won with highly-educated, we won with poorly educated (pause: as much of the audience applauds itself) I looove the poorly educated… (more applause)…we’re the smartest people, we’re the most loyal people, and what I’m most happy about…46% with the Hispanics!” In the South Carolina primary, a week before, he had carried the “short people, tall people, fat people and skinny people” vote. Is there no stopping him?

I kept looking at Christy, standing stiffly without any facial movement. He looked like a deer between the headlights, i.e. road kill, but still able to stand. Somewhere in there when Trump was bragging about his victories, Contrary spit out his gag and The Donald threw a couple jabs at nasty lying icky Ted Cruz and little Marco, he of the big ears. Contrite was quick to hop to the other side and re-insert the gag. Contrary bit his fingers. Pulling him up by the red tie, Contrite bitch-slapped him and returned to his post on the other shoulder. The rest of the speech was so innocuous I wondered what The Donald was up to.

Tell me, if it does come to pass a President Trump, would the US be in and out of hot water as he is all the time? I have this re-occurring nightmare of The Donald and Kim Jong-Un face to face,

Well folks, it’s been an interesting weekend following that last Republican debate on Thursday. That debate was something to marvel at, it was the best food-fight yet. Little Marco and nasty, lying Ted came at Trump from both sides, they were buzzing at each other, sometimes all three at once. Trump was kept busy swatting them away. The adult in the room, John Kasich, was once again, appalled at their behavior. Gentle Ben was so left out of the debate he once interrupted and said, “Would somebody please attack me?”

The little mosquito and the nasty blowfly attacked him from either side on his bankruptcies, on Trump University where you got your graduation picture taken beside a life-size cardboard Trump, on his taxes, on his support for Planned Parenthood, on his ties to Hillary Clinton and the other liberal Democrats. It got worse the days after the debate, intensifying during the Sunday morning talk shows.

Somewhere in there Mitt Romney lobbed a head of lettuce into the food-fight insisting on seeing The Donald’s taxes. There’s irony for you. Remember how he fought exposing his own?

Cruz, who once stood with Trump at a rally in D.C. to protest the Iran deal, was now insinuating, in masterful innuendo, that Trump might have ties to The Mob. Rubio told stories about Trump backstage putting on makeup during a commercial to cover up “a sweat mustache” and demanding a full-length mirror to what??? “See if he had wet his pants?” Trump told stories about Rubio backstage “putting on makeup with a trowel to cover up his ears.” And later said he didn’t want to say Rubio has big ears but “they are the biggest ears I’ve ever seen.” Strange, I hadn’t noticed them in six months of watching this spectacle. He does have big ears, a feast for a caricaturist. Now I can’t take my eyes off them.

The next day Rubio doubled back on his statement and said that Trump doesn’t sweat because “his pores are clogged with the tanning spray he uses.” And then he said, “Trump is not going to make America great again, he’s going to make it orange.” This man, “Little Marco” as Trump calls him, who would be President, has stooped to this. And then he made fun of Trump’s small hands and says “everybody knows what that means” reminding us once again that we don’t want Trump’s dick, no matter how small, on the nuclear button. And this: “Donald Trump likes to sue…he should sue whoever did that to his face.”

And then David Duke lobbed a watermelon into the fight by endorsing Trump. After first pooh-poohing the endorsement, and enduring severe criticism even from his minions, the Donald was forced to say, “I know nothing about David Duke.” (He claimed he had a bad earpiece.)  Joe Scarborough, on “Morning Joe”, who has long been in existential negative awe of the Donald, came out and said, “That should disqualify him, right there.”

Ask me who won the Republican debate. The Democrats won, that’s who.

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