Oregon Forest Gothic
-Moss covers everything. Don’t ask exactly what it covers.
-The Forest Service road is a better road than the highway.
-Be sure to wear orange in the fall. It’s the only way to avoid the hunt.
-Firewood is damp, even in July. There is a burn ban. There has always been a burn ban.
-Yes, something does live under the covered bridge. Leave it a beer now and then and be grateful.
-Sometimes there are bones in the hot springs. Do not disturb them.
-Toes are supposed to have webs, here.
-Careful in the deep silent woods, way up the mountain. Anger the trees and they won’t let you out.
-Aunt Jen says to take a stick when you go outside, in case of turkey attack.
-Everyone knows Bridge of the Gods is a toll bridge. But what is the toll?
-This cabin is an empty vacation rental. All the cabins are vacation rentals. There is no way to rent them.
-Dry shoes are a myth. Try sandals.
-Logging roads run for miles. Is it all the same road? Get down the hill before it snows.
-Those old folks live up the creek by themselves for a reason. You don’t want to meet them.
-You try to dig a boulder out of the yard. It is bigger than your car. Bigger than the house. You can’t stop digging.
-Sasquatch is tired of rescuing hikers.
-There’s a tree across the driveway. There will be a tree across the driveway every weekend. You will need a new chainsaw, again.
-That sound at night. It’s only a cat. We hope.
-Some of the clearcuts are haunted. Watch for the bones. Or are those the stumps?
-The creek is talking to you. Will you be the first one to admit it?
-We don’t go up that valley. Don’t ask why, either.
-The alders multiply if you turn your back.
-Sometimes shapes appear and disappear in the rain. Sometimes you’ll recognize them.
-The sawmill runs all night. You’ll never meet anyone who works there.
-Do not leave the summer camp property. Not that you could.
-The mountain is always watching. Always.
