#theslapper

Okay so weird night last night. Let's start from the beginning of the day:

I get brunch with college-acquaintance-now-friend (CANF) because yesterday was his birthday. Super great brunch and things went well. In my head I'm thinking and finally concluding that things just aren't platonic between us. There's only one guy who I could make do the things CANF has been doing with me and that's because this other guy is my most platonic friend. Okay so with that realization in mind, I still don't know how to behave. He's moving out of the state in like a week in a half...

Fast forward to the evening. I got off work at 9pm and met up with him + a bunch of other friends at a brewery. Several things occurred here:

Guy I dated about a year ago was there. This guy, The Slapper (I guess that'll be what I call him), and I met at a show in April 2012. I wasn't feeling it but he was totally into me so I gave him my number just cuz. We went out a few times. I initially didn't like him, then I liked him, then I concluded that yeah, I really don't like him. The last date we went out, we ended up fucking and it was good sex, but he also slapped me a lot which isn't really my thing during first time sex. Right, so anyway he was at the brewery. We hadn't talked in probably 5 months or so, except for the random snapchat he'd send me...? I don't know.

Guy I've been fucking for the past 2+ years was there, unsurprisingly because we're all friends, but yeah, he showed up. We haven't hooked up since early March because I was out of town a lot in March and primarily because his ex-girlfriend visited and  they unquestionably fucked. I got really upset because she was here so I decided to not sleep with Long-Term Fuck Buddy anymore. Well so he shows up and I realize that yes, I do still like him, even though he is 1) not my type, 2) constantly high, and 3) a realiable cheater in that he always cheats on girlfriends. 

Okay so now that we know the key players - CANF is having a great time, as he should since it's his birthday. I mention something about how I don't want to drive home and CANF offers to drive me to my car in the AM and I can get a ride with them home after we drink. Okay sounds fine to me. I live less than a mile from them so great. I drink and I have a great time. I'm a little unsure of what I should do because on one hand I shouldn't chat with LTFB, but on the other hand, I kind of want to go home with him. Except, I also know CANF is feeling me and I've already decided I'm getting a ride home with them.

LTFB leaves around 11:30 since he needed to catch the last bus to his place on the opposite side of town from where I live. I text him, "I hope you miss your bus!" but meanwhile I'm also talking with one of his housemates who informs me that he knows "all about us." I, of course, am surprised since this guy shouldn't know anything about LTFB and me... so housemate says," I've heard from many people that when you guys get drunk, you basically rape him," to which I'm like "WHAT!!" Yeah so I'm obviously upset and confused because what. Like, in no way have I ever pressured him to have sex? Huh? Okay so LTFB texts me back, "might have not sure. but you can always venture to [his street name]." Okay so that's a good sign right? I respond, "Well [housemate] just told me I rape you when we're drunk so no thanks." Then he says, "Wait what? Those are his words. I think rape implies not enjoying it." Whew okay so I'm not that upset anymore, but still like what? Who would've told housemate about us? What??

Meanwhile I'm about to leave the bar with CANF and I'm slightly sad because I really like LTFB. During the car ride home, CANF and I get cozy in the backseat. It was kind of awkward and I wasn't sure what was going on exactly. We get to his place and somehow start making out, which is A-OK with me since kissing is no big deal to me. He starts undoing my belt and I kind of shut it down for a few reasons but only mentioning that it's my time of month and not my sudden realization that I just want to be home and not touched. He was fine with Aunt Flo, but I wasn't tryna get the pipe so we made out a little more. I mentioned something about not wanting to be his rebound since he just got out of a 2-year relationship. He said something dumb about how I'm not and that I'm "awesome." Haha wait what?? Anyway, somehow I slept well. He brought me to my car in the AM and whatever, it was fine.

OKAY so back to my text convo with LTFB. So he said the part about "rape implies not enjoying it" and then I said "Haha well maybe not tonight. I feel uncomfortable now." THEN he weirdly, sarcastically, gets apologetic?

Him: "Okay didn't mean to do that. Sorry"

Me: "Haha nope over it"

"I really don't know why he said that though. Is that why you're uncomfortable? Oh okay. Going home then? Was it something I did"

"No nothing you did. I just don't want to feel like I rape you, what."

"I was being sarcastic and I never told ___ anything"

"Haha god I hate you. No I know. I'm over it. Well rekindle later"

"Well shit I'm trying to get you to not hate me."

"Haha get out I probably can't ever hate you."

"Well what if I come to you or still a no. okay sorry if I'm being pushy"

"No come to me. If you're awake"

"[location] right? what's the address. and are you sure?"

At that point, I'm already in CANF's bed and I don't know what to do about LTFB. I don't respond and he sends a text 16 minutes later, "Alright night"

So that was weird for a few reasons:

We don't have lengthy text conversations

He doesn't come to my house. He has once in the 2+ years we've been together

He's never seemed to actually care about me