“You’re real to me, maybe a little too real.” 

Alright, so I just got finished sobbing over the first episode. 

Overall, it’s amazing y’all. Everyone’s acting is amazing, the writing is TOP QUALITY, and I really think that this show will have something amazing to show America.

As a white person, I for the first time realized that sometimes the things that we think will make someone feel better are actually some of the absolute WORST things to say. I have never encountered someone who lost someone from a hate crime but I know that if I did my first instinct would be to say “What happened to your family member was a serious injustice” and now... seeing that through someone else’s eyes, I realize just how fucking awful that would be. So I personally thank this show for showing me another perspective that I NEVER would have seen and will seriously consider how I talk to people who encounter ANY tragedy, much less a hate crime, before speaking. I always figured since the way I met my partner was so horrific that I had figured out how to talk to people about those situations... It turns out I have no fucking idea. What I said to her worked for her... But I know that nothing I said to her would have flown with Jira or her father who lost an amazing husband and father.

Within the first two minutes I had fallen head over heels in love with Harrison and Daniel and despite knowing what was going to happen, I broke down SO HARD.

Of course, my corner of Tumblr is mostly concerned with Noel Fisher, who did a great job at showing his shock and guilt at realizing he’d shot the wrong man.

From there, Aliyah Royale, STOLE the show from EVERYONE as she endured pitying stares and gentle gloves from people she encountered, finally realized that she wanted to meet her birth mother, and above all has endured more than I could ever imagine. She portrayed this amazing woman with grace and heartbreaking quality and made me just want to grab her up and protect with every bit of my being--but also wanted to fight for a way to empower her to speak out in a way that would finally make America listen.

Tia also had some amazing lines that made me literally scream in support because she kept spilling SO MUCH TEA and it’s stuff that I WISH I could say to people! The way she says what she says is so graceful and so powerful that I just want to carry her (and Jira’s) scenes with me so that any time I get into a discussion about police brutality (which actually happens a lot with me where I live) I can whip them out and hopefully get some people to look outside their own backyard for a fucking minute.

Then there’s Daniel... Oh my fucking god... I really can’t even get more specific than that. He is having to deal with his privilege as a white man and yet he wants to identify with and help his black daughter who at this moment in her life is identifying with her black father more than anyone in the entire world. The close bond that they have is so powerful and yet their distance in experiences shows just how significant race plays in people’s lives. Daniel, even while being married to a black man and adopting a black daughter, has never ACTUALLY endured what black America sees and deals with, and that privilege shows as Jira is starting to see just how unjust and racist America is. And yet, this is all portrayed without ONCE throwing accusations at America or Paul. All conclusions about race are up to the viewer and this is both important and dangerous: what if America doesn’t see Jira, Harrison, and Tia’s sides? What if they don’t even see Daniel or Liam’s side and instead only see Paul’s? This is the only concern that I have with this show.

Sure, Ava DuVernay made it clear from the start that they didn’t want to villainize anyone, but still I felt myself feeling for Paul a couple of times and... It isn’t quite what I was hoping to see. Even still, maybe Paul’s guilt will prove beneficial for the exploration of Jira and Daniel’s perspectives... I liked what they did with Paul until his two last scenes because the way he reacted to his partner dumping the tapes... It just seemed so unrealistic that I couldn’t help but cringe. However, they did include his partner dumping the tapes PERIOD and that certainly serves as a criticism for how the police look after their own before looking out for the interest of justice and that certainly says something deep and important.